Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Reader Submission From Germany Part 4

I actually received this submission about a year ago so I'm a little late in posting this :)

Hello! The german here.

I wrote some stuff on this blog two years ago. Since then, a long time has passed and i now want to share my experience regarding detachment from women.

Before i start describing i should explain what value detachment from women holds for me, because the process of detachment is influenced by my views and is generally happening in my head. Detachment from women means freedom to me. E.g.:

- not having to pretend to like the conversation hoping for intimacy
- not having the need to associate with women, because i want to fuck
- ...

I've become an incredible lazy person regarding courtship. My last date was roughly one year ago and i do not even care. I do not miss anything. I do not miss talking with girls, I do not miss them teasing me and so on.

I only engage in flirting, when the girl is really nice, attractive and clearly interested AND when i am in a social mood.

I visited a very annoying seminar last semester. Just when i was about to rush out of the room at the end of the last session a nice and attractive girl, who liked me from the beginning, started flirting with me. She was touching my arm in an unusual way, holding intense eye contact, saying "goodbye, take care..."(in german, you normally do not say "take care" as part of the leave taking). I just wanted to get out, because the seminar was so very annoying at the end. So i said, "yeah you too" and was out.

A classical chance missed. I felt slight remorse for a short time and moved on. My own indifference surprised me.

The jealousy i felt sometimes, when i saw a good looking girl with another guy is gone. Very rarely, when i am in a very bad mood, it returns as a very weak emotion, which disappears in seconds.

Sex for me happens rarely. Basically only when my russian girl comes to Germany. The last time she visited was the summer last year. She does not take up much time in my life, but for the occasional email. I do really like her though, she has a nice character and i enjoy the very rare sexual encounters, but i am not dependent on them. I can take good care of my sexual urges myself, which is very important.

All in all my happiness has increased significantly after i abandoned Pick-Up and detached from women. The hardest thing on the way was:

- Not having the validation of women/the lair anymore to boost the ego.

When i did Pick Up my performance was directly correlated to the response women/the lair gave me. And naturally i got used it. The positive responses were sunshine for my self worth. The negative responses of women were not that bad for my self worth, because my wingmen in the lair gave me props for approaching anyway.

When i stopped Pick Up it were the positive responses from the lair and the women, which i craved. I had mood swings going from content to miserable for apparently no reason. Not a nice thing to have. But over time i got used to it and cold approaching became alien to me. My mood stabilized and bad moods became a rare thing. Nowadays i mostly feel satisfied and happy with the occasionally bad day, which everyone has from time to time.

So i evolved into a mostly happy and content individual. My interest in dating or flirting with women gradually declined as i were not willing to put the effort into online dating and my social circle consisted (and still consists) mostly of males. I had a few dates with other girls, one i described on that blog, which led to nowhere. I was mostly interested in sex with those girls, since they were not very interesting personalities and could not make me laugh. This led to me not willing to play the entertainer for them the entire date, as this was too much work for sex. One date i fucked up though :D.

This is my experience so far, i hope you could take something useful out of it.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Lol! Apart from the bio details of this pal I could have written this!
So true! Sex and chicks really are overrated these days.
I have no love life at all, but these days not because I can't get laid, but because I don't consider it worth the hassle.
And I don't feel like missing out at all -apart from wasting time, energy and money and risking my peace of mind and generall contenteness ;)
Thanks to my fellow country man for submitting this, thanks to John for sharing!
Peace! :)