Thursday, March 20, 2014

Men Not Dating?

Yesterday I listened to this video:

My first reaction was, great, men in Toronto are finally wising up. But then I had to wonder how prevalent this really is. If it's true then it must be a relatively new phenomenon, and men have finally had enough. It's similar to how unemployed people will look and look and look for work. They keep at it and eventually, if they don't succeed, they just take themselves out of the market completely, and stop looking. Even the most persistent people eventually give up if they are getting nothing for their efforts. Maybe the same is starting to happen with western men as a whole, and Toronto with its particularly strong contingent of nasty females is just one of the first to adopt this trend.

But how can we see how widespread this trend really is? Short of doing a large social science survey I decided to just look at the Alexa information for some dating sites, since they can serve as useful yardsticks. I looked at and it shows that, compared to the general internet population, a lot more women are using lavalife than men. In the past I've always known it to be the reverse, where many more men were on the dating site than women. I compared this to,, and, which all show the same trend as lavalife, where more women are using the sites than men, although the difference is less than with lavalife, which is more Canadian based, and in particular, strongly Toronto based.

This apparent trend makes me think back to something I wrote once, where I said that even if some men begin to drop out of the running, other men will see the male-vacancy as an opportunity to better their chances with the women, so they'll just swoop in, and the number of men chasing will remain at a steady high number. But if what I heard in the video is true, then this is not happening. And I think the reason for this is because the women, in the presence of fewer men, do not become more receptive and easier to meet. And even if they do, it's only a surface phenomenon and at their core they are still the same. I personally have seen this to be true. Whether there are a hundred men in the room or just three, they will act pretty much the same, with that toxic air of superiority that they are untouchable and even something like market forces working against them won't bring out a change in their character.

So the men know that the adversarial conditions won't change even if there are fewer men pining for the women. Result: the number of men in the running continues to decline. But I think there might be something additional at work, having experienced this tendency myself. After experiencing so much rejection in so many ways over so many years you become conditioned to actually derive more satisfaction from rejecting women than getting laid. So during those few times that women show interest in you, you prefer to take the opportunity to teach a lesson and put the shoe on the other foot, rather than hook up. It seems that the opportunity to do THAT is more important, and the fact that it is a rare opportunity makes it that much more appealing.

I have gone into clubs and practically wanted women to show interest in me, not because I wanted to get laid, but to teach them a lesson by way of snubbing them. Sounds petty, perhaps, but it is a tendency I strongly feel nonetheless. Maybe I feel this tendency because I know that by reciprocating interest I am just giving her what she wants, which is what she is overly accustomed to. So by ignoring/snubbing her I am not giving her what she wants, and that is more satisfying to me than getting the sex.

This is a disturbing tendency I will admit, and I think it's best to focus this tendency on the women you sense are the stuck up kind. Such women almost always tip their hand early on. So if a woman comes across as even a bit arrogant, then she is the perfect candidate to reject flat out. But a truly sweet girl who comes across as humble, she isn't a good candidate for rejection, unless of course she just isn't your type.

If men are just now starting to reject dating and marriage in droves then you can bet that it's a culmination of years of rejection, being jaded, and horror stories that they have heard and/or experienced over the years. It can't be fixed overnight, and it's a situation that can't be fixed even if more women start throwing more sex at men. The problems go much deeper than that.

Saturday, March 1, 2014

Victim Statistics In Canada

I took the time to dig up some victim statistics with gender breakdown. I wanted to bring to light actual numbers regarding some of the more contentious claims that are often made.

The source of my numbers is the Statistics Canada website (

Before I get into it, I first want to explain the General Social Survey (GSS), which is a major source of the data I'm going to mention. The GSS is a voluntary survey in which households are randomly selected across Canada. One person is randomly selected from each household and then interviewed by phone. They must be aged 15 or older. They are asked a series of questions related to the scope of a questionnaire and the results are then recorded. The identity of these people is protected by law.

A more detailed description of the most recent GSS (2009) is available here:

Here's a few paragraphs taken directly from this webpage:

"While both the GSS and the UCR (Uniform Crime Reporting - which is police-reported crime) survey collect information on crime in Canada, there are several differences between these surveys including survey type, scope, coverage, and source of information.

The GSS is a sample survey, which in 2009, collected information from approximately 19,500 respondents, aged 15 years and older, living in the ten provinces. The survey is designed to ensure that these data represent the non-institutionalized Canadian population aged 15 years or over.

One of the major benefits of the GSS is that it captures information on criminal incidents that do not come to the attention of police. Research has shown that for various reasons victims may choose not to report their victimizations to the police. For example, according to the 2009 GSS 69% of violent victimizations, 62% of household victimizations and 71% of personal property thefts were not reported to police. Despite the benefits of self-reported victimization surveys they do have limitations. Of note is that the GSS relies upon respondents to recall and report events accurately (see Methodology for further information on the GSS).

In comparison, the UCR is an annual census of all Criminal Code incidents that come to the attention of the police. One of the main advantages of the UCR survey is that it allows changes in police-reported crime to be tracked over time. There are many factors that can influence police-reported crime statistics, including the willingness of the public to report crimes to the police as well as changes in legislation, policies and enforcement practices."

And now for the first statistic, which involves sexual assault in Canada:

According to the most recent 2009 GSS, there were 34 sexual assaults for every 1000 women. And out of these, 81% involved unwanted sexual touching, and the remaining 19% involved more violent sexual attacks. Extrapolating from this, you can see that roughly 1 in 30 women experienced some form of sexual assault (which ranged from unwanted touching to the more violent assaults, which includes rape). Doing the math, the more violent forms of assault amount to 1 in 150 women. Hence, the highest possible incidence of rape is 1 in 150 women.

Here's the source for this: Page 31 in

Here's a few paragraphs taken directly from this webpage, which gives the numbers on sexual assault:

"According to the 2009 GSS, 7 in 10 incidents of self-reported sexual assault were committed against women. In total, there were 472,000 sexual assaults reported by women in the previous 12 months, representing a rate of 34 sexual assault incidents for every 1,000 women (Table 1.5). This compares to a rate of 15 sexual assault incidents reported per 1,000 men.

Most incidents of self-reported sexual assaults against non-spousal victims involved the least severe forms. In 2009, 81% of sexual assault incidents against women involved unwanted sexual touching, including touching, grabbing, kissing or fondling. The remaining 19% of incidents involved sexual attacks, where the accused sexually attacked the woman by threatening her, holding her down or hurting her in some other way. These patterns in the nature of sexual victimization against women have remained constant over the last ten years."

Note that police reported crimes are a fraction of the total crimes, especially sexual assault, which is around 12%. I base this from the following sentence: "The majority of sexual assaults were not reported to the police (88%)". This is taken from

Now look at some of the more common factoids you hear or read about, such as from doing online searches:

"1 of every 17 Canadian women is raped at some point in her life."

"1 in 4 women will be sexually assaulted."

These are dubious numbers, and it is difficult to get truly reliable numbers on this based on the GSS since these are lifetime numbers. But consider the following from the GSS data: 3 in 10 incidents of self-reported sexual assault were committed against men. Now, this is not nearly as high as assaults on women, but it is significant nonetheless. It means that men experience 43% of the sexual assault women do.

Using this 43%, and applying some math, we can reasonably state the following, based on the two factoids above:

"1 of every 40 Canadian men is raped at some point in his life."

"1 in 9 men will be sexually assaulted."

Sounds pretty serious to me. So given these numbers, why aren't men also showing up on the public radar when it comes to sexual assault victimization? Is it because the commonly accepted statistics are actually bogus and it's just propaganda to inflate female victim statistics for purely political gain? Or is it because the statistics are actually correct but society just doesn't give a shit about male victims of sexual assault even though they exist in significant numbers? Or could it be both reasons?

Now to be fair, the vast majority of sexual assaults are committed by men, either against women or against other men. But this should not be used as an excuse to minimize the victim status of men just because the perpetrators are mostly men. To the victim, it does not matter who the perpetrator is. A victim is a victim.

Now, let's look at spousal violence in Canada.

Self-reported spousal violence, as given by the GSS, is about the same for men and women. You can easily see this here:

This tells us that inside the home, women are about as violent as men.

Now for the homicide rates in Canada.

The total homicide count from 2000 to 2009 for males was 4254, and for females it was 1684. 70% of all homicide victims are male, and 30% are female.

For homicide victims outside the home, 80% are male and 20% are female. For homicide victims inside the home, 40% are male and 60% are female.

Here's the source for this: Table 4.1 on page 38 in:

These numbers can be worked out from the table.

Inside the family, males kill (either females or males) at a rate that is four times higher than vice-versa. But the point to make here is that females can kill too in significant numbers. They can stab, kick, use guns, use blunt objects, etc.

Males are much more likely to kill overall, and males are also much more likely to be the victims overall. But that does not make the male victims less tragic, or more deserving of their fate just because the perpetrators are mostly male; hence they're getting their just desserts, what goes around comes around, yadda yadda, or some twisted logic like that. Remember, a victim is a victim.

And keep in mind that in a relative sense, very very few males kill.

Lastly, let's look at the suicide rate in Canada.

From the data, the total female suicide rate is about 5.4 per 100,000 (, and the total male suicide rate is about 17 per 100,000 (, which is about three times higher. Notice how the male suicide rate tends to increase as males get older, but the female suicide rate tends to decrease as females get older.

These are all the numbers I wanted to mention. I think they are among the most important out there in gender based discourse, and they can easily be accessed by anyone who knows where to look.

I had a really difficult time getting this data, which unfortunately is buried in the Statistics Canada website. This data is much more credible than what you often see on the typical propaganda pieces on these issues, which are rife with highly exaggerated statistics.

Remember, these are raw numbers I have here. They are not extrapolated. They come straight from a credible data collection agency, and they can't easily be spun to satisfy an agenda.

It is sad that there is so much misinformation surrounding these issues, information which is very widespread. So hopefully the information I provide here can help some people combat the lies.