Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Double Standards And Hypocrisy

I made a list of as many double standards as I could think of that exist in terms of what is expected from men as a group and women as a group, and the views that are held with regards to each. I chose to list only those examples of double standards and hypocrisy which are obvious to anyone who has not lived in a cave. I only wanted to focus on the obvious things which people may or may not be aware of, but which are obviously true once you think about it. This makes it a lot harder to refute than something which you have to dig deep to prove, which is why I did it this way.

Here they are:

• Modern women are strong and independent, but they are also victims of male oppression, as well as being easily offended by anything in the media which portrays women in an even slightly negative light.

• When men complain about hard to meet women in public, women say that men should just keep trying until they meet the right girl. But at the same time women give various reasons for not wanting to meet men in public (e.g. they are potential creeps, stalkers, rapists), and as such they refuse to make it any easier for men to meet them.

• Women will dismiss men in a bar/club environment just because they are part of that environment. But, if by association, the men in a certain environment are bad, aren't the women also bad since they are also part of that environment? This never occurs to women.

• Women are allowed to feel special for being able to give birth, but men aren't allowed to feel special for building civilization.

• Unless proven otherwise, men are potentially dangerous, violent, potential rapists etc. But there is no equivalent view that, unless proven otherwise, women are potential gold diggers, home-wreckers, etc.

• When men say they want women to acknowledge their existence, either with eye contact, a smile, or hello, that's called male entitlement. But when women say they want a man with a laundry list of attributes that's called knowing what they want, not settling, and having standards. Women will say that they don't owe men a smile, eye contact, or a hello, but women feel that men owe them chivalry and want men to treat them like "ladies", pay for dates, etc.

• When men say they want to be able to look at women they find attractive that's called male entitlement and objectifying women. But when women want to know early on what a man does for a living that's called wanting to know him better.

• Women can dress as sexy as they want and god forbid a man shows sexual interest in them as a result. Therefore, men must show restraint and act like gentlemen, but women don't have to show restraint and act like ladies.

• When men cheat on women it's because they want something on the side, and are often called pigs for doing this. But when women cheat on men it's because they are "unsatisfied" in the relationship and are looking to fill a void in their life. In other words, it's the man's fault.

• When men complain about how hard it is to meet women they are told to go out more and be more proactive (man up). When women complain about how hard it is to meet men they are told it's because there are no good men left.

• When men drive big trucks some women say that they are compensating for having a small penis. When short men go to the gym to put on muscle some women say they are compensating for being short. But when women put on makeup, sexy clothes, and workout that isn't called compensating. That's called striving to look and feel your best.

• It's okay to make fun of men in pop culture and television, but not women because that promotes a negative stereotype.

• Men falling behind in education hardly shows up on the public radar, but if it were women there would be a public uproar. In fact, women falling behind in anything always gets lots of media attention.

• Women like to see themselves as strong and confident and all about equality, but when it comes to romance the man must make the first move and start the process. And he must also be prepared to spend money on them by default.

• When women are abused and assaulted by men they are always victims, and men always the offenders. When men are abused and assaulted by women they probably did something to deserve it.

• Women only clubs are allowed but men only clubs are publicly scorned and accused of being discriminatory.

• Female sexuality has value but male sexuality is worthless. This is explained further here.

• When men show off their physique (e.g. muscles) women frown on that, just because... But when women show off their physique they are admired for it and called beautiful, even if they are somewhat fat. A fat man showing off his physique is laughed at and ridicule.

• Anything that can hurt women is unacceptable. But if something wrongfully hurts men, but more women are helped as a result, that's a good thing. For example, keeping the identity of men accused of sexual assault anonymous to the public unless there is a conviction is bad because it can prevent more victims and more evidence from coming forward. And in addition, the alleged victim could face a greater chance of reprisal by the accused, since he is not known to the public. The bottom line here is that releasing the names of ALL the accused to the public results in a potentially greater chance of helping the victims (primarily women) even though it has a definitely greater chance of unjustly hurting the wrongfully accused (primarily men). Having men get unnecessarily hurt in this process is the collateral damage necessary to ensure the safety of as many women as possible. Women are MORE important after all.

• Making it a crime to falsely accuse a man of rape is bad because it can discourage some female victims from coming forward. But the fact that it can also prevent some women from filing phony rape charges (which results in fewer innocent men being hurt), is never brought up.

I do want to mention one big double standard in men's favor. It is the sex double standard in which promiscuous men are called "studs" and promiscuous women are called "sluts". However, given how difficult it is for the average man to meet new women, let alone sleep with them, this double standard never actually becomes reality for most men. It is merely a "nice thought" if it were to actually happen.

Now, I will say that some double standards are necessary. For example, a new employee cannot be held to the same standard of performance as a senior employee. A child cannot be held to the same standard of maturity as an adult. They must be given special consideration until they get up to speed. But with these double standards it is at least understood that the new employee, or child, will eventually be expected to "perform" at the higher level with sufficient time for development. And at no point is the new employee or the child called superior or more deserving, more worthy, or more capable, simply because of their status as "new employee" or "child". The trade off for their special consideration is that they have a lower organizational rank.

But with women this is not the case. With women these double standards exist not because they are deemed incapable or less competent as men, but because of a cultural bias against men and because women are viewed as better than men and deserving of better treatment than men. Women must be more coddled, more placated, and given more special consideration than men because they are more important than men and their needs matter more. But they are also viewed as equal to or better than men in matters of competence and performance, which ultimately puts them in a higher social class than men. In other words, they are in a higher social class than men AND they still get the special treatment that the new employee or child receives.

It is also insidious that because women are assumed better than or equal to men in terms of performance and ability, then things like the gender pay gap are automatically assumed to be due to discrimination against women, by men. There is a huge blind spot at work here where it is simply not acknowledged that the pay gap is due to the average woman choosing less riskier, less stressful jobs, with fewer hours. But this is not a politically correct truism and in addition it doesn't make women sound virtuous, so it is swept under the rug, and instead an alternate bogus explanation is given in which the wage gap is said to be due to discrimination of women by men. The bogus discrimination explanation in turn adds even more fuel to the already existing anti-male views, and is an example of a fictitious double standard in favor of men being used as yet another piece of fodder and ammunition in promoting real double standards in favor of women.

Bottom line, women and society has internalized the greater importance and preferred treatment of women, and the lower importance and lesser treatment of men. It will never be directly admitted but the actions and words of women and society (as well as all the denial to mask the truth), prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is the case.