Monday, December 31, 2012

The End Of Men? Hardly

You sometimes hear about the decline of men and the rise of women. There was even a book written recently entitled The End of Men: And the Rise of Women, by Hanna Rosin. I haven't read it so I won't comment on it. But regardless, there are sobering statistics out there showing that men, at least in this part of the world, are in social, economic, and even physical decline. Sometimes these statistics are brought up, by women usually, with almost a sort of triumphant glee: "Woohoo, men are on the decline. Women are on the rise. Go Girl Power!"

This decline is certainly a problem which must be addressed, for the benefit of both sexes. As Warren Farrell frequently says, when one sex wins both sexes lose. Women cannot progress past men in an unlimited way, and men can't keep declining in an unlimited way, without serious problems resulting for both sexes. It is ideological stupidity to ignore the decline of either sex since both sexes are interconnected in a myriad of ways.

I do find it somewhat amusing how some will suggest that women will overtake men in social and economic standing in a new world setting, with the further implication that men will become irrelevant. Anyone who can look past this ideological chest beating will realize quite plainly that men are an integral part of society, and are in fact the builders of society. Call me sexist if you want but if you look around who do you see on construction sites? Who are the technological innovators? Who fixes your car when it breaks down? Who fixes your leaky plumbing? Who collects your garbage and recycling? Who does repairs on the electrical grid when there is a power failure? Who does almost all the dirty and dangerous jobs that modern society needs to keep functioning? Now, to be fair, women certainly are capable of doing these things, but in a proportional sense very few do. You can try refuting me by citing examples where women do these jobs and try dominating the discussion with those few exceptions and hence try to prove me wrong that way, but the fact remains that it is almost always men who do the dirty, dangerous, and physically demanding jobs.

And let's not forget the role men play in the "prestigious" white collar roles. They comprise most of the roles as lawmakers, bosses, managers, engineers, etc. In the hard sciences you have mostly men.

For women to truly blow past men they would have to start occupying these roles in much greater numbers. But I don't think they will, given that the door has been open for decades now and women still choose not to do certain jobs, en masse. Warren Farrell has said that women would have to be paid much more than men to do certain jobs, like trash collector, which would mean higher taxes for everyone.

But for the sake of argument, let's say women will overtake men and men will truly become less relevant. But we still need society to keep functioning. The dirty, dangerous, physically difficult jobs still need to be done, and they will have to be done almost entirely by men. In this case only one scenario is possible:

Men will build and maintain the cities that women will rule the world in.

Yes, that sounds about right. Men will just willingly relegate themselves to working in the shadows, behind the scenes, running the much needed machinery of society, while women take the spotlight as the superior gender. Yes, I'm sure that some men will probably be okay with that. White Knights are not a rare breed, after all. But you can't count on all men to do that. Many will refuse to play the role of a (traditional) provider and protector, but with lower status. It is delusion to think otherwise. This quest that modern feminists have to gain superiority over men can only happen with the support of other men.

So I think now you see my reluctance to accept the notion held by some that women will overtake men and men will become irrelevant. If that ever happens, society as we know it would cease to function.

Let's look at this more closely. In order to carry out their misandrist agendas, radical feminists need the help of men to provide the "muscle". To undermine, trample, and gain ultimate superiority over men, these women need the help of men. You have to admit, there's a huge irony there, and it cannot possibly work since a man who assists in this endeavor would have to be so incredibly self-defeating, and so incredibly blinded by his white knight impulses. Simply put, you cannot count on sufficient numbers of men to carry this out, for no species will willingly take actions that result in self-annihilation. Radical feminists can huff and puff and threaten dissenting men with the force of the law, but when the force of the law comes mostly from men then the fascist feminist agenda can only go so far.

It is only the state, run by mostly men, that has protected women so far and has pushed the pro-female agenda forward. Yes, you can have only women in top positions and they can become the sole lawmakers and decision makers but if you go down the power hierarchy you will eventually encounter men and they will have to be willing to play along, at the expense of other men. Seriously, how long do you think half the population can be turned against itself without some sort of backlash? It just will not happen. The end of men and the rise of women is impossible, because it would also mean the end of women. What we have at the moment is merely the tantalizing hint (to some), backed by statistics, that men are on the way down and women are on the way up. But this will eventually hurt women. It just hasn't happened yet. Bubbles take time to burst. When women insist on marrying up while also getting more degrees than men you will eventually run out of road, so to speak. But that's just one example, off the top of my head. Read books by Warren Farrell if you want more examples.

Any woman who has been taught to never need a man should learn to fix her own car, build her own house, do her own repairs, clean her own snow, take away her own garbage, help repair broken roads, help repair broken buildings, and just help keep society running in general. It's an impossible and unrealistic scenario to imagine. Heck, even men need men. So get over it! You need us, and we need you!

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

More On Warren Farrell

One good aspect of the protest against Warren Farrell's talk at the University of Toronto is that it will help guys feel more vindicated about how anti-male this city is. This is not your typical city when it comes to male-female relations. There is definitely something uniquely sinister about how men are collectively viewed by MANY in this city. The angry shrieking venom spitting women in the protest are like a big fat thermometer for how this city views men's issues. The protesters are extremist yes, but the fact is that such a vile protest to Warren Farrell speaking has ONLY happened in Toronto in all his 35-40 years of speaking. The only other protest he experienced at one of his talks had four people in it. The Toronto protest had about 100 people in it. No doubt some of them also participated in the massive tear down campaign of postings notifying people of his speaking event.

He was also scheduled to speak in other nearby local cities like London and Guelph, but those were apparently canceled for lack of interest. However, there were protests being organized for those talks as well, probably near in size to that in Toronto.

As expected, there has been minimal coverage of this in the mainstream media. The closest mainstream news outlet that has talked about this is the Toronto Sun:

It figures that only a conservative leaning news outlet would dare talk about this, as more liberal news outlets are too deeply mired in political correctness to dare shed light on men's issues.

The protest at U of T was captured on video. See for yourself what sheer hate and ignorance masquerading as enlightenment looks like.

And now watch a video of the actual talk that Warren gave, and note the HUGE discrepancy between what the protesters were accusing Warren of standing for and what he actually stands for, based on his talk (and everything else he's ever spoken of, which none of the protesters seemed to give a damn about).

I read somewhere that the protesters want the YouTube video removed. I hope they don't succeed, as the vilification and character assassination of the protesters is entirely self-inflicted, and even more importantly, it is pure video evidence of what men's rights are up against in this city. The protesters are just a representation of that. The poster of the video should post this video in as many places as he can.

I've said it before. Most Toronto women are not radical feminists (such as in the protest), but most Toronto women have been influenced by radical feminism. This means that in most Toronto females, especially the attractive ones, you will see varying degrees of man-hatred, entitlement, and the deep personal conviction that they are completely correct to be this way. This last part is most dangerous since it is the sticking point which prevents all other change. No man should try to tough this out. It's better to not waste time and look elsewhere, but ALSO speak out about the problems here.

Monday, December 3, 2012

Reader Submission From Belgium


I’m a guy from Belgium, 26 years old. I met my first girlfriend when I was about 22 years old. Before that I didn’t have a lot of success with girls. The fact that I was a little bit of a nerd, who played video games and wore big glasses, probably didn’t help.

The walls in my small study room were completely covered with posters of various games, which I got from tons of game magazines. One day, a friend of mine adviced me to remove them all. When I asked him why he told me that girls wouldn’t like that. So I took them all away and replaced them with artistic posters of landscapes and other boring stuff. This was the first time I threw something away that I truly liked for the only sake of improving my chances with girls.

Discovering PUA

When my first girlfriend broke up with me, I was really devastated. I believed that I had done something terribly wrong which caused the break-up. The relationship only lasted 3 months and I was still a virgin afterwards.

A couple of weeks later a friend introduced me to PUA. I downloaded “the game”, “mystery method”, “double your dating” and some other books, and I absorbed all the material and techniques like a sponge. A whole new world opened up for me. For the first time in my life I would never have to worry about finding a new girlfriend again. And I would never have to worry about losing them again.

I started going out with a positive mindset and a lot off confidence. If a girl were to reject me, it wasn’t my fault. My game just wasn’t perfect yet. If I would have said X instead of Y, she would have given me her number. Somehow, me screwing up wasn’t really “me” screwing up any more.

A couple of months pass. One night, I’m at a club. I start talking to a girl, which by a major coincidence turned out to be one of my new neighbours. She was clearly interested and we exchanged numbers. A couple of days later I had a one night stand with this girl and I lost my virginity.

In the same week, I met another girl in a pub which would become my second girlfriend. She was really attractive. In fact, most people, including my parents, thought she was out of my league. They couldn’t understand why a girl like her would be with me. Off course I was convinced I had everything, including the one night stand, to thank to PUA. And I thought that, if I kept doing everything according to the rules, she would stay attracted and stay with me. But I was wrong.

I did a lot of things in this relationship which I regret today. I wasn’t myself. For example, I would on purpose not invite her somewhere just to send the signal that I’m alpha and that I didn’t really need her. I would never send a text message first. If I responded to a text message, I would think 15 minutes at minimum to send “the best” text back. A text that would convey value. I would always try to be the leader, to choose the pubs where we would meet. I would always drive and pick her up at her house. I would always stay calm, keep my posture. I would set her in her place when I thought it was needed. I did a lot of stuff that I actually didn’t want to do, but which I did because I thought it would keep her attracted to me.

But 3 months later (again) I notice her losing interest. I started to worry. Was this normal? I am staying true to all the concepts of PUA but I feel her slipping away? What do I need to do? My confidence dropped. And not only did she lose interest, but she started acting disrespectful. It became worse every day. But instead of standing up for myself, I was completely focused on what to do to save this, to reset everything back to the way it used to be.

It was no use. I still remember the sad look on her face as she walked in my place. I asked her if she still wanted to be with me and she slowly shaked her head. She said that she lost her feelings and that they would not come back. For me this was my first real relationship and I felt that I blew it, again.

The first weeks after the break up, I handled myself reasonably well. I still believed in PUA, so I would find and seduce another girl soon. However, I was also hurt and confused. I really liked her. I couldn’t understand why she left me. I did everything right.

Discovering John’s Blog

After my second break-up I started bodybuilding. I had a lot of anger in me so I released it in the gym. I completely devoted my time to my training. I would go to work, go home, eat, train and sleep, 5 days in a week, and this for the next year and a half. I added about 34 pounds off muscle.

I didn’t have a new girlfriend during this time. I first wanted to figure out what went wrong in my previous relationships. I was still reading PUA material, but I started to question it’s validity. I googled the words “PUA” and “SCAM” and arrived at John’s blog “lifestyle journey for men: THE PUA SCAM”.

I started reading his blog. He explained all the flaws in the PUA industry and he started to open my eyes. It took me another year before everything clicked together in my head.

Where I am today

I don’t bodybuild as much as before. I noticed that I was heading in the same direction as PUA once again. This time, I wasn’t trying to use some techniques but some muscles to improve my chances with girls. What’s next? A car? Money? Status? I need to stop using some theory or method to get girls. 

We forget that we are born as men. And a heterosexual girl is attracted to men. That’s it. We don’t need to do anything special. The most important ones are in my opinion:
  • Don’t be clingy /needy /desperate

  • Be well groomed

  • Take care of your health

  • Stand up for yourself when needed

  • Don’t let other people or events control your life

  • Do what you are passionate about
This is off course quite normal and general advice, as it should be.

Today I can look back on my past 2 relationships with a completely different mindset. My first girlfriend didn’t leave me because I had done something wrong (even though she made me believe that) but because she simply didn’t want me any more and searched for excuses to leave.

The girl from the one night stand thought I was cute and wanted to have sex. I was at the right time at the right place. It’s all coincidence. I could have said 10 different things and I would have still slept with her

Same can be said about my second girlfriend. She also thought I looked handsome and wanted me. Again coincidence. The fact that I got 2 girls in the same week is still just coincidence. I can’t pull this off every week.

Next week I’m going on a speed-dating event. I don’t expect anything special to happen. I’m just looking forward to having some normal conversations with girls again. We’ll see.

I’m gonna leave you with a thought that I had a couple of weeks ago which IMO should make every PUA believer out there question what they are doing:

People used to believe that doing a certain dance would make it rain. If it would rain a couple of days later then they had proof that the dance worked. If not, they must have done something wrong to piss off the Gods.

Some men now believe that using a certain PUA technique makes them more attractive with girls. If a girl is attracted, then this is proof that PUA works. If not, they must have done something wrong.”

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Reader Submission: Thoroughly confused by women in this town

Reading the recent posts by the guy from Germany has prompted this. Like many men in Toronto, I have been thoroughly confused by women in this town. I was a bit of an outsider most of my life, having grown up in an alcoholic household. I spent a lot of time in therapy to get over this impediment. Lack of success with women has always been a huge focus of my life. Like many, I jumped into PUA fast and hard. I am lucky that as a cheapskate I didn't spend any money on it, just downloaded it all for free: Mystery, David D, Major Mark, RSD, David Wygant, Zan, etc, etc. Now years later after learning and trying lots of this stuff, my success with women is the same. I can get a new woman to sleep with 3-4 times per year.

For years now I have been making eye contact with women in public and they never maintain eye contact for more than a second. I am an average looking person, but thought that perhaps I was really unattractive. I now don't think this at all. Women in toronto are pretty much asexual. On dates, they sit there and wait for you to magically stir up emotions in them, like they have no influence in this whatsoever.

Like Germany, I have approached women in public often, gotten lots of numbers, and it almost always goes nowhere. At the moment there are at least 4 women I am keeping on life support with occasional texts or calls, but they are doing fucking nothing to show any interest in me. So why the hell would I continue to contact them? A few reasons and none of them are good: 1)  I think to be a "cool guy" I have to have many women on the go. This is basically using women to bolster my self esteem - a losing proposition for sure. 2) I really want to get laid, and will put up with their complete lack of interest to get my penis wet and warm- fail #2.

The PUA industry begins with 2 lies:

1)learning to pick up women will be the best thing in your life. Most guys attracted to PUA have had challenges, so think that once this is "handled" (a David D phrase that is used ad nauseum) your life will be whole or some such nonsense. I learned a bunch of that crap, do not much better with women, yet my life is pretty good.

2) If you do what they say, you will get lots of women interested in you. Learning PUA has done little for me in regards to women. I went to a speed dating thing recently, and was being high energy and super social, yet I got no matches. I was doing what the dating coaches say, yet it got no results. I can meet women in public and get their numbers with ease, but they rarely call back.

As Germany says, rather than running around with a hard-on and shoving it into women's faces, it's better to look for ones that give off some sort of spark. I still feel the urge to chat up every good looking woman near me, but now assess whether she may actually give a shit.

There are lots of things to do with life. I am going to do other things and stop giving a shit about women here, as it's a complete waste of time and energy and it makes me feel crappy to get such bad results. The system is broken. Fuck the system. I'm done with it.

I have travelled to 45 countries and there is no mythical land. The guys on this blog who think moving elsewhere is the answer need to do their homework. I speak fluent Spanish and can go anywhere in Latin America and fit in like a local, and it's still hard to get laid. If you are good looking you can get laid anywhere. If you aren't it's pretty much the same anywhere. 25 years ago you could go to Japan or Cuba and get laid just for being white. Those days are long over. People go everywhere now, so you are not such a hot commodity.

What I am left with is that I still feel like women aren't interested in me much. If I feel this way, perhaps the women pick up on this. It's a vicious cycle. The obvious answer is to change this idea in my mind, but if you think this is easy you understand nothing of the human mind. I have studied this for 20 years. It's fucking hard to change how the mind is set up in childhood.

Being angry and bitter about women has not worked for me. I'm going to try working harder at letting this go, than I did at learning to pick up women.

Wish me luck.


Saturday, November 24, 2012

Reader Submission From Germany Part 3

Part 2

Let's go on with some more persuasive statements.

ST: "Ok, I get it. You do not like dating coaches and think our service is not of use and heavily overpaid. But we have glowing reviews!"

I scratched that sort of thing in my last article and will quickly sum it up.

Most of the reviews are kind of vague, although positive. They however do not show or hint on any concrete results. Guys essentially pay a lot of money, to get the good feeling, that they are finally getting concrete results, without actually doing so. It's a scam, who does not give you more, than maybe a good feeling and some short term motivation, which can furthermore addict you to coachings, to get your motivations level up again, when it finally drops.

Now, there are very few reviews, which actually show concrete results.

They could be self written, by the coach, to scam people into believing, that his method works and I bet, some are.

But let's assume, those reviews are correct. Those are real students, who have achieved results. One question is, how accurate they are, because males tend to exaggerate numbers and beauty. They also reinterpret situations sometimes.

For example a male says he has sex, but only had a hot makeout.

Well, so the coaching really helps people to get sex? No. It mostly does not.

I could give you now many points, which are crucial to sexual success and are, of course, not mentioned in the reviews.

Let's sum it up like this. A success review, written by a brad pitt type of guy, who also did 20+ approaches nearly everyday for the last month and is a very social experienced fellow, does NOT give any credibility to the method.

Any decent looking, social experienced guy can get laid, if he works very hard and motivated for it.

ST: "Okay. But this brad pitt like guy, lost his girlfriend 3 month/years ago and only had sporadically sex, although he approached. After my glorious coaching, he had much more sex in a shorter amount of time."

Yes. Its important for the coach to be able to motivate people. He makes his students feel good/motivated and than tells them to approach a fucking lot of women.

And let me tell you. It is EASY to motivate people, by pumping them up a bit (pushing comfort zones or stories of successes), and then tell them, to go out and approach women in this pumped up state. They will get good reactions, which further pumps them up more.

I know that, because I also did it to some guys in the little lair, I was active. For no money, because it is EASY and not hard to do. And the results were sometimes better, than usual.

The decent looking ones, with more social experience (only a very few of them are into PU, because they lost their girlfriend or want to lay more. They move on pretty quick. The douches, however, turn into coaches.), normally got numbers and sometimes dates. And in rare cases sex, which equals results.

The big amount of inexperienced guys, got some flaky numbers, but not more. It was a big success for them, because they never got so much numbers in one day and they felt very good afterwards. But these are not results. It's only feeling good. And it's short term.

Our Brad pitt guy, already had sporadic sex, although he was not motivated. Now he is motivated, approaches a lot more, does all the work. Of course, he gets more pussy.

Does he use the coach's material? Maybe a little bit of it, but he does not need too. He has already social experience and probably has his own stuff to tell.

The value of the coaches burns down, to giving motivation and encouraging students to approach a lot. It's EASY to do, everyone can do that and you should charge exactly nothing for it.

ST: "You said yourself, that there is some material, which is useful. I use only that important material, so I am a good coach!"

Then why do you charge so much money for the little bag of useful, basic directions? You can convey them all in 30 minutes, up to an hour.

Chances are high, that you take some useful stuff, which can be explained in 2 minutes, and stretch that over 30 minutes with ideology, motivation speech and filler material. That would be the sophisticated way to go.

Let's do math. I assume, that you can stretch 1 minute of useful advise into 15 minutes. So 60 x 15 = 900. 900/60 = 15 hours.

So you have 15 hours of material, which bases on the useful advises. More than enough for a weekend bootcamp. You eventually want to shrink it down.

And do not forget the big time infield, which is actually more easier for you, because your students approach. You jump in from time to time and give some advises, based on the PU theory and your experiences.

It's often highly uncertain, if the advise would change anything, when you would replay the same situation with your student, using the advise, again.

You sometimes have to approach sets yourself, to demonstrate your "skill". When you are one of the better coaches (still horrible though) you will not have a big problem with that. You are socially experienced and well groomed. Of course, you will get rejected sometimes, but it's a numbers game anyways. After some misses, you will find a girl, which does not outright reject you. So you make her laugh and your students think, you have "skills".


You give a lot of money.

A coach gives you short term motivation, which in very rare cases results in sex. If it does, it was mostly you and the motivation is a small part, which only lets you approach more.

A coach maybe gives you some decent information, but also adds always a lot of filler material and poison ideology, which places women on a pedestal and incorporates the "man has to do all the work" - thought. Not worth it.

A coach gives you advises infield. When you are inexperienced and do an obvious mistake (like never holding eye contact, no smile), he will of course correct it. But it's no secret knowledge. You will find it in the internet, just be careful where you look and do not fall for filler material or ideology.

You can ask your friends, your father/grandfather/uncle or on this blog. No need to pay 1000 euros.

Other advises, such as "Why did you not tell a joke? She was bored and therefore rejected you. Be funnier." are highly uncertain (many possible reasons, for rejection to happen) and are full of bad ideology (putting women on pedestal, man does all the work).

A coach tries to upsell you his shit, trying to play on your fears like good ol' mystery, david d and most of the others are doing.

You may get addicted to the good feeling or the personality of the coach, if he appears to be especially sincere and nice. So you possibly spend even more money on useless crap.

You get even more addicted to women's attention and/or sex, willing to do even more for it. If you cannot get it, you get depressed and feel lost. Coaching time again, back to the drug dealer.

Do not go to coaches...EVER! Think critical, especially when you have motivation problems approaching women. And always remember, that every man with some spare cash can have sex with a hot prostitute. If you do not have the money, jerk off to free porn on the internet.

Greetings from germany

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Reader Submission From Germany Part 2

Hello! It's me, the german again.

As you may have noticed in my last article, I do not like Dating/PUA coaches.

Quick summary why:

1. They charge large amounts of money directly or try to upsell you into expensive seminars, coaching, whatever.

2. They exploit the addiction of men to sex/females and try to make money out of it.

3. They teach males questionable tricks, techniques and behaviour to be more successful with women. It boils down to "men have to do nearly all the work in the dating game, by learning this stuff and applying it". The more experienced guys and naturals have to also do all the work, but take the material from themselves, which is better anyways. This mindset is toxic because it makes the man responsible for his actions and the woman's inactions. So he is always to blame. It may also lead to even more women turning more passive, because they can get away with it due to most males addiction to sex/women.

4. Seeing it from the perspective of equality (woman and man both engage actively in courtship) nearly all the PU material, which coaches draw from, is useless. The concept of going out and approaching girls is good for social beginners to make some first experiences. But it also becomes kind of senseless, when you notice, that the numbers are stacked against you. Most people will stop completely or only approach marginally, when the woman is giving away obvious signals.
But even if you are willing to accept, that men have to do all the work, then you have the problem to validate, if it's really the material giving you success, or just you, being in a good pushy mood plus the women making it easy for you.

Now let's try something new and let's debunk common pro-coaching statements.

1. ST: I will show you, how to get better with women, by teaching you a unique technique/system, which will make you better with women.

Unique? It's probably copied, repacked and remarketed under another name. And even if it's not, which I highly doubt, look above at 4. for the rest.

2. ST: Techniques are soooo yesterday. They falsify your personality. You have to be yourself! I will just show you how to behave accordingly in daygame and I promise you, you will bath in pussy! I will show you how to approach women EVERYWHERE, ANYTIME!

A more sophisticated and indeed better one. But still horrible.

"Techniques are bad and falsify the personality. Also, you should be yourself, when dealing with women."

Yes, you got it bro. Let's move on.

So daygame mass approaching everywhere, anytime. That sounds like law of averages or numbers game. It comes down to being an approach machine. If you do 20+ or even 15+ women everyday with ongoing motivation (EVERYFUCKINGWHERE! ALWAYS! NO EXCUSES BITCH!) and most importantly with direct approaches, you can filter out the women, who look good and are interested in you. That is of course no indicator, that they are willing to do their part of the share.
But if you do not require that and are a social, constantly motivated, well groomed guy, who has alot of time, you will get laid.

To be honest, if I would ever again engage myself in chasing women, that would be the method, I go for. However, I would do it only as long as it needs to take, till I get a good girlfriend out of it.

Okay, enough sugar for now. Now let's get the mud. You can partially apply that mud on nightgame also.

- Motivation is the most important factor. You have to be constantly motivated for the interested 11th chick, even if you get ignored or laughed at by the first 10 girls. You have to constantly push yourself, to meet your daily limit, because it is a numbers game. You have to constantly push yourself to approach that chick in the train and still be motivated for the 10 more to go, if she shoots you down and everyone is looking at you.

- You have to be persistent. That means you have to go out in the field at best every day, if you want to have a supply of numbers, dates and at best, girls. No excuses. Do not let your approach ratio drop. But honestly, if you have this problem, then you are not motivated anyway.

- You need a constant fucking lot of time to achieve constant sex or even dates.

For people with a normal 8-10 hour/day job, it is impossible to achieve this. Here is the solution. Go into the coaching business. Charge a lot of money for showing this method and talking about how to behave in daygame. Motivational speeches are very important also.

Work on a good website and bootcamp program and when this is set up, be sure to throw in some gimmicks like an article, some opening line or a video, every now and then. Promotion and stuff is needed either.

The rest of the month is free! You can go out and have all day to approach chicks or learn some interesting rhetoric tricks. No time pressure, so you can relax. You will gain experience way faster, and eventually become really good. So even more time to idle and ask yourself, why only a few students have concrete results at hand, but others are confusing feeling pumped up and motivated for a short amount of time with results.

- Motivation problems. You will encounter them. 100 percent. Sooner or later. They are one of the  main reasons, people run to coaches. They need their fix. Like the Cocaine addict his cocaine.

Be not one of them. Better be pretty fucking honest with yourself.

Now it is true, that coaches can pump up your motivation again and keep you going. The world is sunshine again and you feel fresh! But only short term. Now if you are lucky, you will get laid with one or more chicks through that motivation high. Hurray. Sex for 1000 euros.

But then let's say the chick vanishes after 2-3 months. What now?

Your motivation is probably down and you can't get it up. Coaching time again.

I met guys, who were motivated for weeks after a coaching. Only to return after the next downfall set in. Some coaches even have coaching flatlines. It's a vicious circle.

Do not go into it, or if you are. BREAK OUT. Read this and the other blogs of john. That will help you see things how they are.

So. Be honest. Is the sex or attention you get, worth the work you do? Really ask yourself.

How to daygame

You need some social skills to start with and you should have some basic directions of daygame.

What? Never been on the street before and no social experience with girls? Also no self confidence, so sarging alone is out of option. Well, before you hit the button, which will transfer 1000 € to the bank account of some coach, let me tell you whats up.

First, you need confidence.

Option 1

Get a wingman from the local PUA lair and let him introduce you to the world of street approaching. Hope he is not a douche. Chances are, that he will try to push theory into your head. Unfortunately, many PUAs especially in the lairs, are completely confused by the sheer amount of material, which is available and therefore babble bullshit. Too many Opportunists. I will later on quickly summarize what you need.

Option 2

Do not touch pickup or girls yet. First get a social life, by pursuing some hobbies. If you do not have any, then take the courage and just sign up for a karate course. Or Art? Maybe a foreign language? You can drop it later if you want. Point is, to get to know some people and maybe make some friends.

Option 3

Better than option 1. Get a friend involved and ask him to go out with you on the streets. Maybe that friend of yours is naturally good with girls and can assist or help you even. If he is not, it does not matter. You just need some company to approach those dangerous beasts!

So. You are ready to go out. You are well groomed? If not take care of that. Ask a preferable female person, what clothes and haircut would look good on you. Or watch the people on the streets for some inspiration. Or just ask the saleswoman of the next shop or your barber.

I hope you read, what i wrote above. Not so much the sugar coated stuff, but the mud coated. That is the stuff, they normally do not tell you (for real, it's not a hook. It would be a bad hook anyways, because its negative).

Here is what you need:

1. There is no definitive technique on making a girl stop on the street and recognize you. Just keep three things in your head. Try to hold eye contact with her, have a loud clear voice (do not scream...), and smile (very important). Approach chicks, who walk slow and are not in a hurry. Maybe a park? Or look in different kind of shops. I liked book stores most.

2. Oh mah gawd. What to say?!

Easy. Relax. Smile. Just say "Hi" and tell her, that you just saw her and think she looks beautiful. If she reacts positive with a smile and a thank you, introduce yourself, shake her hand and ask her, what she is doing at the moment. From here on you talk with her. On your own. No techniques or shit like that.

Just relax and try to enjoy it. If it does not work out, do not worry, do not blame yourself and just move on. With time and practice, your certainty will rise.

If you have the balls to approach groups, introduce yourself and tell them, that you think your target is cute. Ask, if you can kidnap (haha!) her real short. If yes, nice. If no, move on. Do not forget the smile.

3. She laughed at me and her friends were mean!!!

Yeah, I told you, that can happen. It's emotionally very stressful. So where is the motivation now?

Anyways, move on. Next chick.

4. Approach chicks, who walk slow and are not in a hurry. When they are smiling without reason, approach them. You can approach women who phone, or listen to music. Sometimes it works, sometimes not.

Approach women in bookstores, when they are browsing through books. Try it out.

5. Do not forget to have fun with your buddy! :-)

6. After 2-3 months of constant experience, go out alone. Now you need real self confidence. You cannot have your buddy with you all the time.

7. Experiment, but she always should know fairly soon, that you are romantically interested in her. So no completely indirect shit. If she says, she has a friend or is not interested, move on. Persistence is a stupid filler concept, coined to sell more shit.

8. Use your critical mind. Do not go to coaches, even if someone wants to convince you. Look for your own way. You are for example automatically funny, when you are relaxed with a girl and have some social experience. They cannot teach you experience.

9. We go out and I push you into sets. I also explain what you have done wrong in my opinion, saying stuff like "Hold more eye contact." or "Hold her hand longer, to convey more sexual interest". or "be more relaxed and funny." I smile a lot, I am energetic, appear sincere and motivate you! Then you give me 1000 €.

Part 2 in progress. If you know more coaching endorsing statements, please post them in the comment section.


Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Reader Submission From Germany


I am german and in my early twenties.

I was an outsider at high school, although I had some friends there. I had nearly no experiences with girls at high school, because I was very shy and insecure.

After high school I had a time gap of roughly 3 months, waiting for my civil duty to start. That was the time when I stumbled about PU. I had some friends, from the days of school and some from my hobby karate, but no girls. I was 19 years old. Therefore I thought of the concept as amazing. Just go up and talk to women. It sounded so "manly".

So I did it. The first three months were a thrill and an adrenalin kick. It was like a drugride and I did daygame nearly everyday with at the beginning one wingman and later some more too. I approached at the average 7 girls a day. It helped my social skills and my confidence a lot, although the results were non existent. Sure, I got a lot of numbers and some rare dates. But they did not lead to  anything. I dated/instant dated 2-3 german girls and a girl from new zealand as an instant date in the first three months.

To sum it up and keep it short. The mistakes I did at that time were mainly not grooming myself as good as today, so I looked nerdy and I also was shy and quite insecure when it came to body contact, but that's hardly a mistake. To sum it more up, I was not able to keep her entertained all the time. The dates flopped all the time, but I kept on going, driven by mainly two factors.

1. The Attention of women.
2. The praise of the little lair, me and my wingman created, for approaching like the "man with balls of steel".

Roughly 9 months later, I went out on the average 2-3 times a week and approached 4-5 girls. 9 months full of phone numbers and the same ratio of dates or even less. I had often problems with my state, not being as energetic as I had to be.

I slowly began to ask myself, why I am doing all this stuff. Sure it's nice to get the (often short) attention of some women and the guys think I am cool, but the drug wasn't as strong as in the early days. But being the logical thinker I am, I was still a virgin, although one year into PU, I even never had kissed a girl, although I dated some hot girls from time to time. So why taking all the emotional stress and pressure, which sometimes evolved into anger? I had/have a good time jerking off to porn and when the need to have sex becomes a pressure, I could have always visited a prostitute. And prostitutes are not even ugly. Many of them are very hot and have to treat you good, because of the competition. But I kept going. The possibilities above were not "manly" and equal to "giving up".

Then I approached a hot woman in the city at a summer day. She was from eastern europe, on holidays here in my part of germany. We spoke for one minute, because she had to hurry, so we set a date for the late afternoon. I was there and so was she. And here comes the big difference. She did her part. We had a wonderful conversation and than made out in the evening at a bench somewhere. After that, she went back to her hotel and I back to my home, but we had already set a date for the next day.

The next day, she felt very guilty about making out with me, but we still spent the day and made out again in the evening. Her companionship was very nice and pleasant. A big difference to the enormous amount of german influenced girls, I talked to throughout the year. Sadly, she had to fly back this very day, but she asked for my email and we met again.

Slowly it dawned on me, that it was not my mistake, if the women does not feel entertained. By slowly, I mean roughly 1.5 years. In that time I had a number of makeouts, maybe 7 or 8 and some dates. No sex, but a blowjob and another time a breastjob in a photobooth. It could have been more, but I rejected girls, I personally found unattractive for one night stands. However in that time, I gradually began to question pu, found this blog and got fed up with the process of approaching.

Here is an example.

I recently had a date with a girl, I met in the train. She hold eye contact with me, which only happened a handful of times before. Girls normally do not hold or even *gasp* make *gasp* eye contact here in germany. Never. So back in the days, when I was out in the city, I found out, that you have a good chance with girls, who look a millisecond in your eyes and then DOWN. If they rarely look up again, in your eyes for another millisecond, you will even have a very good chance. But, if they look either to the right or to the left, without putting their eyes down, I was kicked out of the set mostly immediately. But I do not want to discuss strategies here...By the way that makes 200 dollars/euros!

So the beginning with her was very good. The eye contact was hot and in fact she looked attractive. We set a date and she even smsed me 2 hours before, so I do not forget. But when I arrived and we got talking a bit, I found out, that she had not so much to talk about. Back when I started PU, I would have had a problem to keep her entertained. Now I can do that. So I did. It was hitting on my nerves. I even made 2-3 intentional pauses to see, if I am maybe wrong (please, let me be wrong!). Nope. All what came from her was an "uummm....". That was awkward, so I started talking about my stuff. Now do not get me wrong. She was not super silent. She talked, but it was like a 20/80 ratio at the beginning, than 30/70 in the middle and after that 35/65 at the end. And I introduced most of the themes. She also had quite a distant vibe. Well, I hugged her out of the blue and stuff like that, but I thought a kiss would have been the wrong decision. After the date, I was busy with my final exams for the semester so I had to ignore her. I also wrote her a sms two weeks later. She answered and we smsed a short time. 3 Weeks later after the exam I smsed her again. She did not answer. I did not care. She wasn't such a pleasant companion anyways. So what did I learn from this. Next time, less talk and try to go for the kiss, even if she has a strange vibe.



Okay, here is the conclusion.

Let's start with Pickup.

If you are the type of manipulative alpha salesman pusher (yeah, I do not get along with such people long term.), who looks always the best and has a great ambition to fuck any good looking, but most likely shallow character, then pickup is something for you in the long run. You nevertheless need much free time to approach women, handle your big social circle and read up on manipulation techniques. But I can promise you, that you will get laid fairly regularly with hot girls. Only that you have to do most of the work, being a great story teller, entertaining groups and shit like that. If you dare to question, why you put so much time and effort into hot girls and your cool "friends" and, as a consequence, decide to back up long term, not giving them the time of the day nearly every day, you will get fucked. So, you do not want to be the cool guy anymore, constantly wooing girls and impressing your cool male friends and playing constantly cool word games with them? If you change your behaviour accordingly, for a short term, the damage you have done may not be so harsh and can be repaired, by giving a party, being cool again. If you change your behaviour for a longer term, you will lose the girls, because you are not wooing them anymore. Your cool male friends will fuck you verbally, when you do not want to counterattack every cool and fun word game anymore. So you lose status and they will leave too or in some cases not treat you with respect anymore.

But you will not change your behaviour, because you are addicted to social prestige and sex with hot girls. Other people say, you are living a free players life and you are cool and alpha and the man of the hour. In reality you are living in a prison, created by your addictions. You have to obey the strict social rules or the prestige and the sex are gone.


That case above is of course extreme. There are many more shades in reality. You have to decide where you want to settle.


Do you want to be more of a cool guy with the benefits of social prestige, many friends and hot girls? That's fine. Just be aware, that you have to work for it in many ways. There is less room for free will. You have to obey today's rules of society on how to be the cool guy. You will have it easier, when you are kind of cool and only want to be cooler, because chances are, you have figured out some of today's society's rules and have no problem playing by them. But if you are now a very "uncool" guy. With "uncool" male friends and no girls, then you will have a hard time. Pick up is one way to go.

But do not listen to crappy gurus/coaches, no matter how big or small they are. They want to sell shit. Don't pay. If you have motivation problems than FUCKING DO NOT PAY A LOT OF MONEY FOR A STUPID BOOT CAMP TO HAVE SOME BLOKE STANDING BEHIND YOU AND DRILLING YOU LIKE A STUPID IDIOT FROM THE FUCKIN ARMY. Sorry. The dating industry in germany is growing. I do not approve. Some coaches may even appear very nice and sincere, but:

1. They charge large amounts of money or they try to get you involved with them using cheap introductory meetings trying to upsell you into more expensive coach sessions or seminars, in a direct or indirect way, by showing how much hot pussy they get with only a few simple rules and very few (hahaha funny.) work. The last version is more sophisticated.

2. They charge money. They basically exploit the addiction of males for sex and make money out of this. That's like working as a PR Manager for the cigarette industry. They only make it worse, but in a more subtle way.

3. They weaken males as a gender. Think about it. They teach you all the tricks and techniques and behaviour to "move your dating life to the next level". Isn't that awesome? Nope. They basically tell you to do all the work when it comes to women and give you some material to pass that awkward time...although it's much easier to pass that time, by telling stuff out of your life. Nevertheless the main point is, that you have to work more. By applying such a mindset at courting, some more women will feel justified, to let the man do most of the work.

4. Some material will be useful for the credibility, the big rest is just filler, with often bad, not practical information. Without fillers, they would run out of business pretty fast. It's pretty hard to sell stuff, which can be summarized at a few pages.

A very common big filler is the resistance/bitch shield/persistence bullshit. Let's say I am a coach and I need content to sell. Let's at first look at the scenarios which can occur, when a guy approaches a woman.


- She rejects him outright

What can I sell here. "How to overcome rejection!"

Yeye sounds okayish. Maybe I can fill out an ebook with that. Let me see. A guy has to look good. Okay. First chapter "Look like the alpha male!" HAHA! I tell them, to ask other women (sister, salesperson at shop) for styling. Oh well. Some credibility wouldn't be bad. Oh look what I found at the internetz after 0.1 seconds of google search!

"As you guys probably know, an alpha male has to look his best, to attract a quality woman in life. I see myself as an au...err..artistic alpha and in fact I spent a lot of time (0.1 secs) to get into the amazing and fascinating concept of color harmony teachings. That incredible, yet simple system allows you, to look awesome and in unity with yourself, so you will feel the glances of the hot ladies beaming at yourself yadda yadda yadda!"

HAHA I ARE GENIUS! Now let's talk about the different stereotypes women are attracted to.

"Now it's a truth, that the world of hollywood and the several alpha characters, such as james bond are the secret dream men of women all over the world. I tell you now yadayadayada."


Okay. I think you guys got my point. It's just too much. You can argue now, that there are really guys, who do not know, what to wear. And this is true, I was one of them. But all you need is available for free at the internet, styling forums etc. Or you indeed ask a friend, your sister, a saleswomen. Boom done. You do not need books about how to look alpha.

Let's continue.


Hello! Mr. coach is back! So I made now my first chapter, filled in some made up examples and just wrote some shit! Wow. 10 pages. From nothing. HAHA, let's go on. What does he also need? If he appears social, some women will be more receptive. Social means talking to people. So let's look what communication scientists and other PUAs wrote on meeting people, water that down, fill in some made up example AND HERE WE GO!


- The guy does not get rejected, but she does not engage in conversation and only answers one sided. Best solution: Move on.

Well! She obviously does not want to meet that guy. But she does not say so and thus he is insecure! I smell that money!

"Do not worry bro. She is not rejecting you, she only wants you to be the men of her dreams. She is insecure, if you are now her superman or not. So you have to man up, and take her by her hand, so to speak. What you are experiencing, is the typical bitch shield resistance! I tell you how to successfully overcome the bitch shield! Book my seminars for 3000 dollars or you will never see the right path! I am totally not playing on your biggest fear bro."

As you can see, this sort of coaching is a dirty business. But you can make a lot of money.


Be a critical thinker, do it your own way. The only thing you should get from PU, is reading up on openers. That's it. And she should know fairly soon, that you have sexual interest in her. What to talk about? Just the normal stuff you would talk about with new male friends. If she does not like that, move on.

The ebook of the author of this blog is giving some good advises on this subject. It costs exactly nothing. And it's no hook for anything else, because there isn't anything else. Of course, you can try out routines, if you really do not know what to say. They never worked for me.


Now let's get on with women.

I personally do not approach women out of the blue anymore. However, I look if they make it easy for me. I am watching for obvious eye contacts. If that happens, the girl looks hot and I feel like it, I make a move. It is rare, but it happens from time to time. If she doesn't let you do all the work and has stuff to tell, can make you laugh and is a very enjoyable company...Congratulations! Make her your girlfriend. I only experienced that two times in my life.

If she lets you do all or most of the work and has nothing to tell, then get away from her. Alternatively, if you have the nerves for shit like that and the social skills to entertain her all the time, try to push the direction asap to makeouts and sex. If that fails, get away from her.

Final Note: If you really have a strong urge to have sex with a hot girl, but no one is available, go to a prostitute or jerk off to porn. Problem solved.

Okay, that's all. I hope you enjoyed it and took some use for yourself. I also hope that you can understand my english.

Greetings from germany

Monday, November 19, 2012

Tell Your Story

I added a link at the top, below the header, in which I encourage guys to share their stories related to dating and meeting women in Toronto, or anywhere else. If you have a relevant story, or stories, then I invite you to share them. I will then post them on my blog. Have a look at the link for more details about this.

Warren Farrell Protest

There's been a lot of buzz surrounding the protests at Warren Farrell's recent talk about men's issues at the University of Toronto. As expected, rabid feminists and their sympathizers came out to protest. Here's a bunch of links discussing this.

And here's a video of his talk at the University of Toronto:

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Warren Farrell

Warren Farrell is a long standing champion of men's rights. He is a very credible person to listen to. One big reason for this is simply because he rose out of academia, but with some very non-mainstream views with regards to men and women. Unlike someone who was always on the fringe and who, by their very nature, opposes mainstream thought (and is often biased against it as a result), Warren Farrell rose out of mainstream academia, and came to oppose the prevailing mainstream feminist thought that dominates academia using nothing more than the strict academic principles of objectivity and logical reasoning.

I'm providing two links, in PDF format, in which Warren Farrell talks in depth about the pitffalls of feminism and the cherry picking and distortion of facts that feminists commonly use to promote pro-female, and male-bashing attitudes. It's a good read. They were taken from his website:

The Myth of Male Power: Why Men Are the Disposable Sex (Part One)

The Myth of Male Power: Why Men Are the Disposable Sex (Part Two)

It's a good idea to save these files on to your computer in case they ever get taken down or access is restricted.

Here are two videos in which Warren is a guest on Donahue:

Monday, October 29, 2012

Guys Who Slip Through The Cracks

This blog is intended for guys who slip through the cracks. Guys who, for one reason or another, never had much in the way of girlfriends. One of the main causes for this, I think, is that these guys missed out on those opportunities that present themselves early on in the first few weeks of college, or university, to make that network of friends that lead to a girlfriend. Or maybe it's just bad luck where their circumstances just never led to a girlfriend. But regardless, it's hardly an unusual occurrence, and happens quite a lot. Society is full of people who have slipped through the cracks in the legal system, justice system, or whatever system. This blog is for men who have slipped through the dating system. Cracks such as these generally point to flaws in the system, rather than to problems with the individual, which is often the knee-jerk rhetoric used to dismiss complaints of problems.

The dating dilemma many guys face is not something that is acknowledged in any mainstream channel, certainly not like bullying or anything like that. It's a problem facing many males, males who, for lack of another phrase, slip through the cracks, and find themselves in a weird kind of vacuum where they are surrounded by females and yet cannot connect with any of them. Water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink, as the saying goes. It's like all the easy paths to getting a girlfriend, or even just getting sex, are shut down, and you are left with the most tortuous and stressful options, which involve massive cold approaching, online dating, indirect bullshit, and all the humiliation that goes with all of that.

The cracks are big and seem to be getting bigger. I personally have fallen through and I know how hard it is to crawl out in any appreciable fashion. You have to be very resilient, creative, and adaptable, because when you are a single guy trying to get a date out in public, you are up against a lot of obstacles. Females, in this environment, are extremely reluctant to engage any guy who does not automatically appear through the accepted channels (school, work, or friends) and will make it almost impossible for romantic connections to happen any other way.

You can luck out of course, but if you want guaranteed results you either have to be an approach machine and rely on the statistical odds in your favor (hovering at 1% or less), or hire a prostitute which, in terms of cost-benefit, is actually the best option, assuming you can do so safely.

Men who slip through the cracks need a voice, and this blog is one place where those voices can be heard. If society has a problem then it's the extreme cases which will bring attention to it. Yes, extremes always exist, but when you have whole communities of guys posting online about how to get with women using the most ridiculous of techniques (e.g. PUA techniques), or just ranting in general, it's not something that can be ignored. There are just too many extreme cases which show that this is more than an individual problem. I've met quite a few guys who have complained about tough to meet women, and I didn't have to look for these guys. I just ran into them. This tells me that there are many more men with this problem than just those who post online about it, which is already a heck of a lot of men.

Some will try to dismiss men's complaints by pointing to the more radical points of view in the men's movement; points of view which suggest that women should be kept in the kitchen, subservient to men, etc. There is a bit of that for sure, but on the whole it's mostly just guys fed up with the pretentious and entitled way many women act, and the society that permits this. These are guys who want more balance, pure and simple. So you cannot dismiss a movement just because it contains a few radical points of view. All movements are like that. You have to look at the main messages.

Yes, there are many benefits to living in a modern industrialized society like this one, and we should appreciate those advantages and make the most of them, but we also have to speak up when there are problems. That's how we've gotten this far, and this is how we will get further. What I talk about here is just one of society's problems.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

My Thoughts On Unattractive Women

If I wanted to have as much sex as possible without paying for it I would have to include unattractive women into the mix. This is not surprising to any local man who has tried to get laid with a variety of different women. The dry spells are too frequent and there's just too much effort involved to consistently get attractive women into bed. The truth is that you often have to lower your standards to get sexual release. But the problem with that is that right after you get the release you want to get as far away as possible from the woman. You were not really attracted to her to begin with but because she passed the female requirement you went for it, and now that you got your sexual release you can't help but feel somewhat turned off by her appearance. So you opt for a quick exit. It's not really your fault, or hers, you just needed someone to take the edge off, and she helped you do that.

I've been with several borderline women, never particularly nasty, but always at least somewhat do-able, at least at that particular time when I was desperate. It can be an eye-opening experience in the introspection sense. Years ago I came to realize that I no longer want to be with a woman that I want to get away from after fucking ONCE. So I made a rule for myself. I have to still be sexually interested in her right after sex, otherwise she is just not attractive enough for me. In fact, I would much rather be with a considerably older woman who is still pretty and with a nice body, than with a fat young woman with a pretty face. Probably some of you feel the same way.

If I have a sexual opportunity with a woman and I envision myself making a break for the exit after fucking her, then I won't do it. I guess it's morally the right thing to do, since I avoid "using" her. But at the same time I know that the one night stand isn't as damaging to women as we have been led to believe. In fact, if you put aside all the token morality you find that women are perfectly able to enjoy a brief fling despite all the posturing that they are not that kind of girl and that there are feelings involved yadda yadda. It's all just a facade to protect their reputations and selfish pride. That's the only place where feelings are involved.

I'll only stay with a woman long term if I want to stick around after having sex. And for this to happen she needs to be attractive enough for me. If she has a nice body but an ugly face that won't work for me. If she has a nice face but is too overweight that won't work for me either. I realize that this is better than the worst case in which the woman is grossly overweight with an ugly face, but standards are standards, and the only reason such a woman wants me to begin with is because I'm physically more attractive than her. I've talked about this before, but women typically always shoot for men more attractive than they are, and that sweet unattractive girl is most certainly only sweet to you because you are above her league, and if you were in her league (or below it) she would likely blow you off just like all those attractive girls that men typically desire. You know which girls I'm talking about, the ones with nice bodies and nice faces. Those women are on average the biggest bitches. Less attractive women may be nicer but probably only because that is forced on them. They simply cannot get away with being snotty and stuck up based on how they look. So they opt for plan B, which is, be nice and treat people well because you have no choice. Of course, there are genuinely nice women who don't base their attitude on their looks (or lack thereof), but it just seems to me that all local young and attractive women act like A-list celebrities with a diva complex. The temptation to be a stuck up bitch must just be irresistible if you're an attractive young woman.

The leads me to the conclusion that if you want to be with a woman for the longer term she must at least be near your own level of physical attractiveness, if nothing else to avoid those types that only go for those guys that are way above their league. Sure, such a woman might treat you real well, but only because she scored such an incredible catch, which she most certainly is not. And to me that does not sit right. So it's better to get into a relationship with a woman that is near your own level of physical attractiveness, which makes it more likely that she has reasonable standards based on her own level of attractiveness, and is therefore more likely to have other positive traits as well.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Not Much More To Talk About

I covered a lot on this blog and I really don't have much more to add to it. If I feel inspired I will certainly write more, but that is becoming less and less frequent. I don't want to be a blogger who always finds a way to put a new spin on a previous topic, thereby always creating new content. I would much rather keep things new and fresh and touch on subjects again only where necessary. And ultimately it seems that almost everything has been discussed on this and my other blogs, as well as by all the comments, which are a great contribution which I really appreciate. Thank you for them!

There's very few in the way of loose ends to deal with subject-wise, but here is one that does come up in the comments from time to time, and that is on the matter of what guys can do to deal with the problems they are having with women in the area. Some suggest to just leave the city. Others suggest to travel more. Others lean towards going to prostitutes, if nothing else just to take the edge off the desperation and help put things in perspective. I personally think all three are worthy of consideration. If this city makes you miserable then by all means move out, but only once you're sure it's the city that's the problem and not something you can fix yourself. Travel is certainly good, and if I had the means I would travel constantly, which would help on so many levels, as well as taking care of the woman problem. And if you can't travel then do the next best thing and meet foreign women that recently moved here. You can sign up for a language exchange program which is probably one of the easiest ways to meet foreign women. Or just figure out where in the city to hang out so you can meet them.

Lastly, prostitutes are also a good option. In a city where it is comparatively much easier to make money than get a girlfriend, prostitutes make a lot of sense. But don't go looking for love from these women, as was stated in one comment. Just go in with the mindset of seeking sexual satisfaction from attractive women who just happen to be very accessible, for the right price.

If you want to meet women the natural way through real life interactions you better have a thick skin. It will wear on you and piss you off. I would learn to be as efficient as possible, and trust your instincts. If 200 women show no initial interest in you then just move on. The one that is interested and wants to show it will make it very easy for you to spot, even if the previous 200 women ignored you. There's no need to second guess yourself because very large numbers of rejections by females is commonplace in this city.

One other loose end to wrap up is related to a post I wrote way back called Relationship, Inc. I recently updated that post to include a discussion about marriage. I didn't bother making a separate post for it, since both fit well together. Here's the post: Relationship, Inc.

Lastly, I've been working on a new blog. It's a satirical blog with heavy exaggeration and plenty of sarcasm. In this blog I pretend I'm the perfect man and create a fictional account of what it is like to be a perfect man who meets women in the city. It's a different and perhaps more entertaining way to communicate the social problems that I talk about on this blog. Here it is:

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Online Dating Sucks

Online dating sucks but out of all the sucky methods there exist for meeting women (including daytime venues and clubs) this one has the highest chance of getting results, as mediocre as they may be.

However, looking back over the last 2-3 years, I am finding that the vast majority of women I can connect with from the internet are somewhat unattractive. Connecting with attractive women it seems, is becoming increasingly rare. Attractive women, even borderline attractive it seems, have set their sights on the very best men available online, and the only gauge for "best" online is looks, so it stands that even barely attractive women are pining only for the very best looking men online. They have completely internalized what the media tells them, directly or indirectly, about the kind of man that is best for the average woman. The media basically tells them that only an above average man is suitable for the average woman.

I also strongly suspect that women are looking for an archetype male, one who fits a certain mold as portrayed in the media, such as artsy type, bad boy type, GQ type, surfing type, pea coat wearing type, rapper type, model pretty boy type etc. These women want to portray a certain image as manufactured by the media so they seek a male who best does that. When women scan online profiles it's probably not that different from them flipping through the pages of a men's magazine to find the man they like the best. Yes they choose from a variety of men but it's a restricted choice based on what the media tells them they should choose from. It's an elitist pretentious narrow minded selection process.

Women have been inundated and brainwashed with the media definition of the "perfect man" and they seek this out the way they seek out the best product on store shelves, never minding what they themselves bring to the table in return. Being average or even somewhat above average is no longer sufficient for the average woman. This is proven most directly in the online personals.  The online personals has become a way for the average woman to seek out an above average man, not as a way to meet someone they like and can have fun with, but someone who meets their ridiculously high standards. The online personals has, strictly speaking, become a platform for women seeking perfection, a behaviour which is enforced by the sheer number of men who reach out and pander to women online (and offline). Yes, you can get women from the personals but it is most likely with women who are below your league, looks wise and status wise. These women will most certainly not be as good looking as you, which can lead you to criticize me for being shallow, but realize that it is the women who are choosing the better looking men en masse. At one time there used to be a trade off: The man has more money and/or more social status, and she has more in the way of looks. But now women want a man with more social status, more money, and looks at least as good as their own, and since women have an inflated sense of their own attractiveness then in reality the man will also have to be better looking to meet or exceed their own perceived sense of attractiveness. Women have thus become 100% hypergamous. The man must be greater than them in ALL regards, and no trade off is possible.

For the single man who has no peer group from which to meet women, I can no longer recommend the online personals as even a somewhat viable source of dating success. There was a time when it used to be better but that is no longer the case. I now only recommend it as a type of lottery where you can occasionally get lucky with a woman, and even less occasionally with an attractive woman. However, it still beats trying to meet women in clubs or daytime venues, but only because those avenues are themselves so incredibly shitty to begin with providing even less chance of meeting someone. But this does not change the fact that online dating sucks and any alternative which would naturally allow you to consistently meet women without them screening you for perfection or them being overly guarded and suspicious of you is the alternative you must go for. Finding that alternative is the key and to me that alternative can only come from meeting foreign women in whatever way possible (either overseas or local women who recently moved here). Simply put, they must be cut from a different cloth, or you are almost always wasting your time.

In the online personals, all you can do is put the best pictures of yourself and try different profiles, rude to nice or something in between, and maybe the contrast in profiles will get a woman to message you out of intrigue if nothing else. You can write a profile that says you just want sex or a profile that says you just want friends (and see what happens), or a profile with something in between. It's still a crap shoot but you can tilt the odds more to your favor by trying out different extremes.

You can send them a wink or a smile (such as on lavalife) in order to get them to notice you, but they need to message you first, especially if they are attractive. If they message you first they are much more likely to look for reasons that they made the "right choice" and things are more likely to go the distance, but if you message them first they are more likely to look for reasons that you are just like every other guy who messages them, and things likely won't go the distance. This is female vanity at work, nothing more.

Some might argue that waiting for women to message first is counterproductive because if women also did that then no one would meet! Now I will admit that as a general statement this is true BUT here's the crux: The overwhelming majority of women do very little of the initiating and men take up the slack as a result. Being just another man who messages women first and takes most of the initiative feeds into a corrupt system and the only way to break the system is to stop doing this. Since there is no balance to begin with it makes no sense to view things from a traditionally balanced perspective. The only balance possible is to take away men's participation as much as possible and force the women into a more active role. And once they do then men can once again start taking more initiative, and balance then becomes feasible. But getting women to send the first message is only the first step. They need to be more proactive in general about meeting men (online and offline) and taking the social risks that go with it. But this won't happen unless men collectively start doing LESS.

So until women start acting more as equals and less like children in the dating arena, a different hand must be played. And I am discussing one way to play that hand.

With the way things are right now, I have found that the only way to get anything worthwhile and genuine is by screening for casual meetings with no strings sex as your main desire. You can either say this directly in your profile, or you can say it in a nicer way in which you state you don't want anything serious and just want to have fun, which by the way is what women put when they want to communicate that they want no strings sex. But even with these women it can still be very difficult to get with them because often times they still want the very best looking men, but at least it's just sex they want which is one thing, which pretty much all guys can deliver, but the boyfriend (i.e. prince) must be many things, which almost always screens you out.

It's the women who look for boyfriends and something "genuine" and "real" that must be avoided completely. By using these terms these women are actually referring to dating, dinner, waiting for sex, and whatever other relationship stipulations this society tells women they deserve and as such should demand from a mate.

It might seem like I'm taking an overly extreme position by screening for 100% sex. But Toronto women force you to take extremes. For example, if you said you were looking for something between a casual and serious relationship, the women will try to push you towards the serious relationship end of the spectrum (along with all the bullshit that goes with that). So if you give them even the possibility of an opening they will try to take it, hence the reason why I have to take the extreme position that I do.

However, if by chance she is nice enough then more can develop, and it will be much more REAL. But I never start off with the possibility of "more" because it always invites the scheming types. By the strangest of ironies, screening for sex is the best filter for finding women with which you can have a healthy genuine relationship with, and that is a cold hard fact. Even more counterintuitive is that if you screen for sex you also have to mention that you will be seeing other women, because if you don't you'll get women who also want sex but who want you all to themselves, which is not necessarily a big deal BUT it is a symptom of a controlling jealous personality, which will still lead you down misery lane. So you have to be militant, lay it all out there and as a result strip away any means a woman can use to corral or control or place restrictions on your behaviour. Toronto women force you to be this way. If you try to be a nice guy and play nice you invite the bitches and end up wasting lots of time.

Now, you will get very few women showing interest in you if you do it this way, but when they do they are almost a sure thing. Why go on a bunch of dates using a "safe" profile and have them go nowhere? Better to be militant and only go for those few who are ready and willing. Now, if you don't mind getting with unattractive girls you can be gentler in your approach and you'll still get them but if you want to get with the more attractive women (the ones who are still single) you definitely need to be militant in the way I describe. The reason is because their personalities range from narcissistic to bored and only a hammer strike can get through, if at all.

But if you want to hook up with a variety of different attractive women on a regular basis, or even just one really hot girl, the elusive kind you can never get, the only sure fire way is with prostitutes. Any other method you try is shit in comparison. At least you will know the price up front, and you don't have to guess at a price while pretending that a price doesn't exist, otherwise that would just "offend" the women. And aside from the time and effort and money spent on the traditional approach, part of the price in the traditional approach is you risking humiliation due to the possibility of her not actually liking you rather than just her resisting you because it's what women of "value" do, and you assuming it's the latter and trying to plow through that.

In this next part I'm basically ranting about the kind of things that women commonly write in their online profiles. These are some of the bullshit things I read over and over and it pisses me off every time I do! This is what they write and my interpretation of it:

I'm not looking for someone who is perfect, just perfect for me

My interpretation:

What's the fucking difference? You still want perfection according to your dumb ass superficial criteria, which changes absolutely nothing!  

Looking for someone who can make me laugh

My interpretation:

You want to be entertained, on top of everything else. Although being able to laugh and have a sense of humor is important, the fact that you feel it must be emphasized probably means you are lacking something in the sense of humor department, or you're just a retard.

You must love dogs

My interpretation:

So what if I don't. What's so important about loving a particular kind of animal. Much better to put that you must love animals in general. Saying that I must love dogs means that I must love YOUR dog. Who am I spending time with, you or your dog?? Dumbass!

Looking for chemistry and romance

My interpretation:

You are a waste of time. You have unrealistic expectations. You are stuck up. You lack introspection. You are selfish about your needs. You only care about how a man can make you feel, and not who he is and meeting him halfway.

Seeking my soul mate

My interpretation:

See above.

I'm a romantic at heart

My interpretation:

See above.

Looking for the one

My interpretation:

See above.

Prove to me you are not like the rest

My interpretation:

Your glass is empty and always needs refilling. You are also probably seeking something that doesn't exist and are likely ignoring what you can give a man in return which will help bring out his unique side, which you so desperately crave. You go on a date, give little in the way of conversation, act bored and uninterested, the guy tries to engage you but unavoidably fails, therefore he is like all the rest. In that sense you are correct, because no man can get blood from a stone.

Seeking someone who will always make me think of him when he's not there 

My interpretation:

More romantic bullshit doomed to failure! The moment you get bored or start thinking of something besides him then he will have failed you. He couldn't keep you obsessed about him so he clearly doesn't have what it takes. Never mind that you are probably a chronic stimulation seeker who gets bored easily.

No picture, no reply. It's only fair. 

My interpretation:

This pisses me off just because it's so incredibly common. It's like women don't know how to ask for a picture in any other way!

Looking for someone who has goals and has his life in order (insert something about financial stability blah blah)

My interpretation:

You want a guy with lots of money and a fancy lifestyle. Everything else you write is filler and padding for this one single thing that you care about.

Do you have what it takes to be chivalrous?

My interpretation:

This just pisses me off on so many levels. She throws this down almost as a challenge, as if the measure of a man is how much he will cater to a woman. Next!

Seeking a gentleman

My interpretation:

This is basically the same thing as the above.

Is chivalry dead?

Yes. And women killed it - Dave Chappelle

Catch me if you can 

My interpretation:

You probably like playing hard to get because it gives you a feeling of power over men, watching them beg and pander and supplicate to get closer to you. You are not even worth trying to meet halfway.

I love good food

My interpretation:

She's a dinner whore. She wants you to take her to a nice restaurant.

I am a mother of amazing kids 

My interpretation:

This seems most common on pof. It's as if you have to put that you have amazing kids otherwise you're a bad mom. The sheer use of the word "amazing" shows serious lack of creativity. One more reason to hit the next button.

Looking to meet a great guy

My interpretation:

Anytime a woman specifies that she wants to meet someone great, super, amazing, etc. she is screening for perfection. You have a snowballs chance in hell of ever meeting her.

Seeking my prince

My interpretation:

More Disney inspired bullshit. Why oh why can't men be like what she sees on movies and television. You know, those scripted Prince Charming types who say and do all the right things.

Looking for something real and genuine

My interpretation:

Looking for someone who courts, goes on dates, waits for sex, and jumps through hoops. Anything else is fake.

Looking for the real deal

My interpretation:

See above.

Looking for someone honest and trustworthy

My interpretation:

See above.

Looking for someone who can keep up

My interpretation:

Pure arrogance. As if you're such hot shit that keeping up with you is an elite achievement. Me thinks you have an overly high opinion of yourself.

Do you have what it takes?

My interpretation:

See above.

If you just want sex look elsewhere. I'm not interested in being a booty call

My interpretation:

You want men to want you for more than just sex. Fair enough. But women like you typically are hypersensitive to this sort of thing so that a man practically needs to be gay (or asexual) to get through your defenses. Also, this suggests a snobbish attitude towards sex in general, and any woman who says this sort of thing is always pricing herself out of the market.

I'm skeptical about online dating

My interpretation:

She is prejudiced against meeting men online, so you will have to overcome that in addition to winning her over. Fuck that!

I'm shy and don't open up right away

My interpretation:

She is a cold fish and you will have nothing to work with if you do manage to meet her. The fact that she's online and telling people she's shy and doesn't open up right away means that she is seriously socially inept to the point that she can't even connect with people she meets in real life.

There's more out there I haven't mentioned. If you read enough profiles you'll notice common things that women write, like the kind I have mentioned. You will learn to avoid the women who write these things. You can basically sum these things up as anything that's overly romantic sounding, idealistic, pretentious, clich├ęd, hints at a personality disorder, or is just plain ridiculous.

You will find that women that message you first don't write anything like what I mentioned. The only exception might be a foreign woman who recently moved here, who has some idealistic views but does not have the polluted personality that goes with it, as is the case for homegrown women.

Monday, June 4, 2012

Female Bashing Sign

As a counter to Male Bashing Signs I decided to create my own sign that bashes women in the same manner. Turnabout is fair play, after all.

Click on the image for a larger view.

Monday, May 21, 2012

Male Bashing Signs

I was walking in downtown Toronto when I came across some pro-female and male bashing signs in a store. Figuring it was too good an opportunity to pass up, I decided to take some pictures of them with my cell phone camera. The pictures are shown below. Click on the pictures if you want a larger view.

As you can see from the content on the signs, there is a strong pro-female and male bashing component, but no equivalent pro-male and female bashing signs. The signs basically imply that women are great and men suck. I don't want to say what store these are from since I don't want to single out anyone. But these type of signs are something that is very common and should be brought to light as such.

Now, you can make the argument that the male bashing signs are all for the sake of humor and should not be taken seriously. Okay fine, but why not make fun of women in the same manner too? You can't because this society will not allow it. The feminist machine will come down hard on such a thing if it happened.

The kind of humor contained in the male-bashing signs crosses the line into just plain mean-spiritedness. The humor excuse is not valid because even bullies use humor. They amuse themselves at the expense of their victims.

A store like the one that has these signs adheres to the principle of supply and demand. If such signs did not sell then they would not be made available since it would be taking up store space that can be used for items that do sell. This means that in this society there's a market for such things, which as many already know, is a symptom of the larger problem that is known as cultural misandry and female entitlement.

If you're a woman reading this and you think that there's nothing wrong with these signs, but have a problem with the reverse situation, then consider the possibility that you are a bigot and hypocrite.