Thursday, September 8, 2011

Which Toronto Women Am I Talking About?

Not all of them. I will admit that I say some pretty negative things about women in this city, but that does not apply to all of them. There actually are quite a few genuinely sweet and nice women in this city, but my feeling is that the overwhelming majority of these women come from the pool of the older and/or less attractive ones. These women are sexually unattractive and/or are 40-50 years old at least and although some of them might be "cute", they usually aren't the kind of women that men desire the most sexually. However, this does not mean that men only desire the hottest model types, and therefore if THOSE few women act like bitches then ALL women must be bitches. The truth is that there's actually a minimum level of attractiveness a woman in this city needs to have in order to start crossing the threshold into entitled bitch territory, so there's a fairly big range of women who act this way. Hence my venom is mostly directed at these women

A woman's propensity for being a stuck up bitch is directly related to her level of physical attractiveness. The more attractive she is, the more likely she will develop narcissistic traits. This is true for women of all nationalities, but it is most true for young, white, anglo women. Young, white, attractive, anglo women are in a class of their own and display an alarming level of coldness in their daily interactions. You could say they are all "business" when it comes to how they view the world and what they expect from others. As a group, they are the coldest females around. Do not expect any warmth from them if you're a stranger, unless of course you're in a professional setting and it is their job to be polite and feign warmness. These women are the British inspired, stiff upper lip, snooty, cliquish, stone-faced women whom the media sees as the gold standard of beauty. They are icy and cold in their demeanor and are highly adept at ignoring the shit out of you, especially if you're a man. You can almost marvel at this ability they have to completely and consistently ignore men in public, but only if you think in terms of how hard it would be for you (a man) to do the same thing towards them. The truth is that it's not an ability they have but rather a lack of something which enables them to treat men as invisible as well as they do. You can call it a lack of wonder, or even curiosity about the opposite sex, which is replaced instead with total indifference. This is hardly an ability worth crowing about in my book. So we shouldn't act so amazed at their ability to do this any more than we should marvel at the ability of a hamster to keep running on it's wheel for hours on end. It's nothing more than a symptom of a weak non-curious mind

Now, some would say that (for attractive women in general), being a bitch is a defense mechanism used to ward off creepy aggressive guys, but I beg to differ. For these women, being a bitch is an inward reaction to her outward attractiveness. It's a self-induced pumped up egotistical state, something she carries around with her constantly and which bleeds through her entire personality, even in environments where there is no chance of a man hitting on her. As mentioned, this attitude is totally proportional to how attractive a woman is, and this society caters to this attitude. For example, you sometimes hear a guy complain about a certain woman who acted like a bitch towards him, and then saying that she's not hot enough to behave like that. This implies that in this culture, an attractive female is allowed, accepted and even encouraged to be a stuck up bitch.

Even moderately attractive women in this city carry around these cold expressions like permanent ice shields. Some of them might be nice in a professional setting, but when it comes to meeting men it's "game on" and they become ruthless. The attractive nurse who nurtures and looks after sick people in the hospital becomes a stone-faced ruthless bitch when placed in an environment which contains men who might want to date her.

Ironically, your best chance at meeting a nice datable woman in this city is to focus on the unattractive women and those women who are at a stage in their life where they are no longer physically attractive. And the latter is not necessarily strictly related to a certain age range. There are attractive women in their late 40s and even 50s who still act like stuck up bitches. They haven't yet reached the stage in their life cycle where they are ready to become genuinely nice human beings who aren't drunk on their sexual market value.

But since most single men want to meet women who are at least somewhat attractive, then your options are seriously restricted, and you must focus on finding the right niches. This could be meeting foreign women who recently moved to Toronto, or play the numbers game and just approach like crazy until you meet someone you like and who likes you.


Anonymous said...

As I've said before, London and New York are the same. I've been in London years but find that there is no substitute for going abroad out of the Northern USA/Europe territory. It always amazes me how women develop the ability to avoid all eye contact when they stand there for a while near you. I guess to get their attention you have to 'cross the line' and actually say something to them. But that doesn't work either. If it did, alot more guys would do it. Actually I do get noticed sometimes. But these are always foreign women who haven't been here long. The eye contact starts to go after 6 months + as they wise up.

Anonymous said...

I got a better option: to leave Toronto altogether, which I will, fuck this city, it's not worth it, and you should too, someday

Robert Moses said...

I totally agree with you concerning the attractive woman quotient in Toronto. However, I also do see fat and unattractive women trying to pull the same bitch shield shit, if they have money.

Just playing devils advocate, but I have asked Toronto women about it, especially attractive women. Their response is quite practical in their eyes. It goes along the lines of, if a man wants to be with me, he better have his shit together, and that shit should either be money or power or confidence.

Nothing about having character.

I will say, that I think it is just about pheromones and as a man knowing when I woman wants you, irregardless of bitch shield. But getting to that point requires intense observation of the subtle Toronto female psyche.

Its funny, but I sometimes sabotage it when a Toronto woman wants me, because I think she just wants me for money. Which they do, but they also like to fuck once in a while.

I hope.

Anonymous said...

>>>they also like to fuck once in a while<<<

I'd say once in 100 years isn't good enough.

Anonymous said...

Great post. But I will try and offer a somewhat different perspective. One thing that is not mentioned, in other posts as well, is the fact that a lot of these girls are taking way more pills than their contemporaries around the world. It is very easy to walk in different clinics in the city and be diagnosed with several "ailments" that for all practical purposes to do not exist or are not embodied by the "patient" in question.

I was dating a very beautiful girl not long ago and was surprised when I learned that every morning she took 5-7 different pills (and I am not talking about multivitamins). The same goes for men too. Although Steroids are the guilty factor there.

These substances, have a delirious effect on their personality and convert these women to ONE-DIMENSIONAL characters that are in effect caricatures of their former selves.

The younger generation is affected in the worse possible way since they start dependence on thee substances to control ADD and ADHD at a much earlier age (junior high/high school). Consequently, they become very boring and develop one-dimensional personalities.

So, next time you do your grocery shopping and feel very depressed that the hot girl next to you picking onions will not look at you regardless of your proximity or your attempt to make eye contact. Just think of how sick she might be and you will feel infinitely better about yourself. There are a lot of sick people in this greatfull you are not one of them:)

Anonymous said...

This is so sad. I agree on a lot of levels here. I still just don't understand why this is going on? I personally think that men in Toronto are looking for one thing - sex and the women in Toronto are also looking for one thing - husbands. It's hard to reach a common ground when both goals are so far from each other. I'm a female, attractive and in my 20's. Of course I have had experiences with brushing guys off and I have to say, it was all in their approach. Had they approached me differently, I may have been more comfortable in having a conversation with them, exchanging numbers/email addresses and getting to know them and yes MAYBE HAVE SEX WITH THEM! But here's one thing you have to understand, women are BOMBARDED with men approaching them and hitting on them constantly. They have created a bitch shield because they have lost the patience to weed out the one decent guy who's worth their time out of the 20 creeps that approached them. I have no luck with men here, I find myself in the same predicament as most men in this city. I make eye contact, I smile, I'll even open to guys and you know what happens? They look at me like I'm crazy. They're in shock and don't know how to react. What is up with this wretched place and the backwards people that have populated it.

John said...

^^^ Reading your comment almost makes me tempted to go out and try to approach Toronto women the "right way". But there is no right way, and believe me I tried it all, because the right away involves not setting off a woman's creep/rapist alarm which tends to go off automatically when a male tries to make conversation.

Maybe you're different because you claim at least that you do start conversations with guys - which ends with them looking at you like you're crazy. Well to them it's probably like seeing an alien for the first time, because that sort of thing just does not happen in the city.

I personally know that there is nothing wrong with my vibe because of those few instances where people (women included) have started conversations with me, reason being because I externally appear pleasant. However the women who start conversations with me are the subset of older women who I am not attracted to sexually. But I am still very friendly and at times charming and I don't blow them off like I have been blown off so many times.

What I'm trying to say is that a guy can have his shit together, be attractive and still experience the kind of problems I talk about.

I do question your claim that women get bombarded with approaches. I personally never see that sort of thing, and just based on observation alone I would say that attractive women really don't get hit on very much in this city, at least compared to cities in Europe and other parts of the world. The number of times women get hit on here is certainly less than the norm, and yet women here act as if it is an epidemic, hence why they act so bitchy and rude, which is just an excuse, and not a reason.

Anonymous said...

This is in response to the the supposed woman who is getting bombarded with male attention:
The increase in popularity of PUA (pick up artist) wannabees and the most often underground material that they were so coy to promote, took hold in the GTA like in no other urban city on planet earth for a reason. These wannabe seducers are simply a product of this society! Whenever I go out and see approaches, most of them have some sort of 'game' routine element to it. And I can see why they would come out to be fake/false and dishonest.

HOWEVER, in no way is the opposite true. That is to say, that if I go and introduce myself and just say "hi" that women would fall at my feet or I would at least meet someone wonderful! I am a tall, good looking professional male and I believe if I am out enjoying a glass of wine, a woman should not immediately assume that I am a player/rapist/creep! Just the fact that negative thoughts are the first to enter her mind once she is confronted with the image of a male after 10pm on a weekend, means that "hooking up" becomes inevitably much harder.

As i've said in other posts, the same is not true in other places. In European countries, a beautiful woman is looked at with a voyeur outlook from the time she leaves her appartment on the 5th floor of a delapidated complex, coming out in the narrow cobblestoned streets to having lunch with her friends, to tanning by the beach, to going out until 5am and hitting different discos, to getting home early in the morning taking a metro full of alcohol drenched people of all ages and sexes!

If a GTA girl had to go through all of that for ONE night, she would never get out of her place EVER AGAIN!

Using 'getting bombarded with male attention' as an excuse to not reciprocating that interest is like saying "there's so many different brands of cereal in the market with such a low price that I will forgo breakfast all together for a year. Actually, I am giving up food."

Human sexuality is complex! Yet, the greatest minds that have dedicated their lives to studying our behavioral patterns, agree that sex/love/desire/intimacy is as necessary to both sexes as eating regular daily meals!
Holding out for a hubby and starving yourself of that necessity will only catapult your emotions into eventually capitulating to the wrong choices: the worst of choices!

L. said...

I find this thread/ post incredibly interesting. My thoughts are very conflicted on this. I'm a female, mid 20's, decent looking, strong personality so I notice that I do not get hit on as much as others and the men that do hit on me are not exactly ideal. (clearly just playing the #'s game) I've been told that I am intimidating and because of the way I look, dress, and speak men feel like they have more to lose. I know I tend to give the bitchy look but its not because I truly mean to, its because I'm always in a rush or I'm zoned out to music/ my destination. Also, we are ingrained to be cautious of men in strange settings and we tend to only be more open when we meet other single men through other friends/networks to confirm the legitimacy/ nature of their character. I think setting and timing is everything. Its hard for any woman to be open if your hitting on her while she's on the ttc even if she thinks your cute. She can't verify your identity, from rapist or simply a nice guy. We calculate the risks and they tend to be not worth it. I understand your frustrations - its really hard to meet genuine, nice people in general. And no, not all of us women want the husband with the high paying job. If there's no chemistry, no personality, there's no point. There will always be women who just want a rich husband just like there will always be men who only want beautiful women without any depth in character. But there's always ppl in between. Don't give up hope in women in Toronto is my final advice. We're not all so bad. Just got to fight through our armour. Good luck.

John said...

^^^ There's two posts you need to read. They MIGHT apply to you.

Anonymous said...

I, like L. above, also find this blog really interesting. It's like the men's perspective on a problem that I and many of my friends also experience: a lack of dating! I'm in my very early 20's, described as attractive ("sexy librarian" is what I hear most often...I don't see it but whatever). I found Toronto is an incredibly hard city to date in too - to be honest, cold approaches are VERY rare in this city, and if they have happened to me they were usually from older men, like in their 40-50's. I also find women get much less attention from younger (20-30's) guys here, or if they's highly disguised! The only men here who I see actively staring at attractive women are the older, Bay St. types. It's a little strange to be only stared at by men my dad's age...but I guess that's how it is. This is coming from someone who grew up in a very different climate, in which women are routinely hit on by random men on the street. That wasn't really bad either - when I went back to visit over the summer I found it actually kinda funny and entertaining. Bottom line is though: men, you're not alone! Women in Toronto are complaining of the same lacklustre dating scene.

John said...

^^^ Women's complaints about the dating scene are not the same as mens because women don't approach men. What this means is that they don't get feedback on what they "did" like men do and therefore don't have the same level of introspection as men. I cannot take a woman's complaints about men seriously unless she also seriously approaches men (in addition to being approached herself).

Ant said...

I recently gained residence from the UK and was excited about coming to T.O. I must admit this city is very beautiful and modern but it lacks very much on the social front. I'm from Manchester UK and for me, The people there take some beating in terms of being friendly. If you want to meet people then this city SUCKS. It's the Drone capital of the world.

Anonymous said...

agree completely ,Seeing a Women in Toronto is like watching a Jaguar with no driver behind the wheel ,, and God Help you if you get into the sights of one that actually is behind the wheel ,, They Are Cruel , Mean , and Just Downright Rediculous ,,Fuck Em ,,, I guess all those Lonely Night with Plastic Vibrators have made them plastic . Torontos women are like a Wax Museum without a Pulse . The Only Great women in the City are the ones that are from Europe ,, I was at a ski shop in toronto once and kindly asked this lady who was standing in the parking space if it was taken ,, She Looks at me like i offended her to the 10th degree , I think Guys its Time To Wake the Fuck Up and Go get some Honeys down in South America and or Iceland . Clearly These Shopping Bags with Eyes are Quite happy to Be Soulless ,,, I guess Us Good Guys should have known better . and no you dont look good in that dress

Anonymous said...

Also the only time real Women are in this city is when the movie festival is on , and the women involved with that festival head out and have a few drinks . Im Pretty Sure thats why the parties went south to Soho , I think the actors and Musicians and Artists had enough of the Plastic Women and decided to hang around people with a personality , looks and talent and a soul

Anonymous said...

I went to a wedding once ,, and at my table were all these couples that were married that i didnt know but were starting to have fun with , My Girlfriend picked up on them before i did , and didnt say much ,, then wham ,,, This Girl Asks me ,,,So ,,< What do you do ? I was like ,,, Huh ? Dont you wanna know my Name ,,, I said well What do you mean ?? She Actually Repeats it ,, and says ,, What do you do ??? and i said right at the Wedding Table Number 4 <<< Well ,, I get up in the Morning ,, Take A Piss ,< Workout ,, Rub one out if i have time ,, then i go to work in landscaping and construction ,,, Take A Dump ,, watch a Movie and Got To Bed ,,, and What Do you Do ???????? hhahahaha ,, Cunts Dont Get fooled about this Fucking Husband Bullshit ,,, That them saying ,, Hi , I would like you to work for me for at least 10 years , build equity as high as i can ,, and then leave you and take half ,,, as the real money is in relationships ,, Fucking Cons everyone of them

Anonymous said...

Ofcorce Toronto women are cold and act stuck up !! They go to school here and they take those Women's study classes which are mandatory now and learn the Feminists Hate Propaganda that all men are Rapist and a Scam !!!! Come on are you blind . Im a Teacher I know . We had two cases already when the girl lie about rape just to get attention . Bolt were fat and ugly who the hell will rape date them let alone rape them . Its a Travesty really !!!
Don't date white women !! Im dating a Asian - Japanese chick who is olso a teacher like me . I love it . And she cooks good !!

Anonymous said...

From Mr parkdale ninja

I think Toronto women are always bitchy,because when they come
out of the kitchen they're out of their envirnment. Think about it ! more stress has been added to their lives because of the media and women's magazines tell them they have to have a good job,and they must have the big house and a few cars in the driveway and it doesn't help any by watching day time tv soaps were every women has the perfect husband a.k.a the total package momey,car,looks, lets face it because of all that Toronto women are walking around brain washed in la la land and reject loads of men daily, and at the end of the day, they don't know why they're single

Anonymous said...

I was born in East Europe . I have lived in Toronto for 22 years now .I have lived in the US and Japan . Japs are very racist and snotty but if your white like me they will kiss your ass. Jap women are racist and want white baby pretty bad .Food in Japan is amazing and Japs are very clean .Anyways. But Toronto ...right . I don't hate the women of Toronto ,I despise them !!! I have been to 18 courtiers and tell you this city is the most discousting Misandry city in the world. Remember the 'Slut Walk ' ,last year guys ?? Bunch of Lesbian activist bitching about some Immigrant kid fro Ethiopia sad something stupid to two fat girls in Christy Pits Park ??!! O ,no sorry the was about the cop who sad 'Don't' dress like a slut '!! What's wrong with that ? Every action by a straight guy in this city is Rape . Every guy is a Rapist according to the Feminatzis here .All those fat lesbian cops with not absolutely upper body strength . How do they get those jobs . AA let me guess boys - Job quotas !!! Feminist BS. Double standard . 90 % 0f all homeless people are all men so...who is the victim here. Women live longer too !! Its a travesty !!
I got my self a nice submissive Korean girl here and that's it . She is a Canadian citizen ,I'm not an Idiot . She cooks and she is good with money . That's it . That's my revenge to the white Toronto cunts boys !!!! OOOOO, you should see their faces when they see me with my girl holding hands on Public . White women hate that !!! Ha ,ha ,ha I love it !!!

Love kimchee . Thomas

Anonymous said...

^^^^^ To the above, I thought it was only black women who gave the evil eye when they see a black man with a woman not from the community.

Anonymous said...

I'm a man and after reading this blog I've come to the conclusion that men in Toronto need to man up and grow a pair of balls. You think this is the only city in the world where women are stuck up their own ass? If you think any major city in Europe is any easier to pull women in your wrong. I don't know what it is about Asian women but they love white boys, the unfortunate fact is though is that they are shocking looking and have the most irritating accents. Moral of the story, if you want a decent woman grow a pair of balls, take rejection on the chin like a man and move on to the next woman and go again and again and again until you get better at talking to women. Because that's the real problem at the end of the day, Toronto men are a bunch of bitches with no game.

Anonymous said...

^^ LOL I like the above comment!

Seriously though, I think the problem is on both sides in Toronto, men and women. Im a female in my late 20's, attractive, beginning of a great career. I cannot date in this city. Men are like children. In my experience ready to live of a woman, off their parents, and worry more about looking cool popping bottles in a club than saving and developing themselves. Theyre a bunch of wanna be rapper goofs.
One thing this blog I think is right on.. is I (a woman) want it all. Yes I want someone I am attracted too, if your not good looking and take care of your body, Im not going to want to touch you and sex is important in a relationship! So if your overweight and unclean dont go around crying, take care of your business!! And yes I want someone with goals and who is achieving things.. I do the same, so I only expect the same. And, I do approach guys (just mentioning cuz you often say we dont). However, it is rare because I wait for the 'it' factor, the wow, the 'I just have to meet him I cant look away'. Then I go right up. Why? Because Im not bothering if thats not there.. and I only see a guy who makes me feel that way once every year or two! But, its worth the wait. And dont say I should try and get to know a guy, Ive tried many times, in the end I always just end up grossed out by them touching me.. its just gota BE there - and it cant be built on personaility alone. Sorry, most of you guys out there just arnt good enough, not because your bad guys, but cuz 'it' just isnt there. But, I am honest and upfront and dont lead any guy on.. thats good right? lol
This blog is kind of a pity party for you guys. Wahhh this is our side. Ok take it! lol Women get to air their cries of poor treatment all the time.
Heres the truth, people everywhere are messed up, and all operate different ways.. theres no 'the women are fuct' 'no, the men are fuct'. And, no perfect recipe for making anything work. Accept the chaos, be kind, yet always keep your own self-repect and dont take any bad treatment.. and stop caring so much people! Worst thing is you end up single, and able to focus on yourself til maybe it happens. And, if we all got over this weird need to be in relationships or having sex to give ourselves worth, being single wouldnt be seen as such a bad thing! See, not all women are dying for a husband ;). Interesting blog though thanks, Im enjoying seeing it from a guys point of view! But I wonder.. what type of guy are you.... cuz its all from your perspective, and who you are has created your experiences, and therefor a potentially skewed set of results for me to examine! lol

John said...

Let's see, a guy comments that men need to grow some balls. As expected, this gets some woman's attention. She responds favorably (of course) and then proceeds to tell her side of the story in which she calls most men inadequate, child-like and therefore not good enough for her. She then closes off by stating that she wonders what kind of guy I am. Where oh where have I come across *that* particular pattern of ad-hominem reflexive criticism before? Hmmm, I wonder...

Your words are intelligent sounding but they lack the wisdom that comes from seeing the issues from both sides. I suggest you read "Self-Made Man" by Norah Vincent.

papi said...

As a man i personally havent had bad luck with women here, mind you im not very tall either and dont have all my shit together (although i am working in it i.e degree, cfa training etc). I have been told i am very attractive by both sexes. Ok for the men here is what I will say as i have travelled to the US often . Women in Toronto are generally colder and harder to talk to but basically i think you just need to be more approachable and take care of yourselves better. However that is not to say that always guarantees anything. I find the majority of women ive landed have been the kind that fall within my social standing. Ive come to conclude in order to obtain the woman i desire in this city I should work harder.. in comparison to my travels to the US yes women down there are more approachable and friendlier but again i think this is also dependant on how you carry yourselves. I read somewhere that women are better at judging and analyzing minute facial expressions, maybe youve given off your insecure?

Anonymous said...

Men of Toronto, I feel your pain.

One thing for sure - the kind of shit you put up with the women here, you guys have armed yourselves with so much ammo that your PU game will be GOD pretty much anywhere else in the world! Just try going anywhere else. If the dating game is a battlefield, then Toronto is a level 10 war zone. Take the fight to a less challenging battle and guess what? You are like, a fucking NAVY SEAL in combat -- mostly because you tried and put up with the INSANITY which is approaching, dating and torturing yourselves with the BS dating scene in Toronto! Just my observation.

Anonymous said...

It is not just Toronto that have this problem with stuck-up women. In Australia, it is pretty much the same thing when it comes to finding a decent, down-to-earth woman who would be willing to give you a chance.

What really grinds many here in Australia are the stuck-up Italian and Greek women. These lot think that they are princesses that have the right to behave this way. Despite the fact that many of these women have grandparents who were Post World War II migrants who came out to Australia as poor, semi-literate peasants.

Australia used to be more egalitarian and down-to-earth. It is now disappearing as we are discussing this topic.

Anonymous said...

To the bitch who posted on September 9, 2013.

Who do you think you are? Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge? The odds are extremely good that you are a fat, plain looking dwarf that works are meaningless make work job either in .gov, or some mega-corporation.

"Sorry, most of you guys out there just arnt good enough, not because your bad guys, but cuz 'it' just isnt there. "

That's because you are a dumb whore. You think that having a vagina entitles you to the "best" guys in the world. But dumb whores like you never stop to think, why would the best guy in the world, want to date me?

You, and all women, are extremely bad at long term planning. You think you are hot shit now because you are in your 20s ?

hah hahahahahahahaha.

Fucking dumb whore, you have no clue how fucked you are.

Men don't need women, and never have. Women need men, badly.

You'll eventually figure it out, but by then it will be way too late.

Seph said...

I'm in Toronto and I have been thinking about this issue for a long time. Working out, like getting buff, will help as a long term solution. Short term though as a commenter said, if you have any anxieties and insecurities, a woman will pick up on that, and in Toronto, the alarm bells will go off like no where else. Even girls that have been friendly with me before, on the wrong day will like, not feel comfortable around me. So it's important that you do some form of cardio to get the serotonin flowing so you can smile and make eye contact with confidence. My main problem with approaching(which I've done lot's of and can get laughs ect) is just that the comfort is often not there. It's like just the fact that I'm approaching makes her wonder what my deal is. I do think that in general long term, self-improvement will pay off handsomly(pun). However, short term my issue is that the "stranger factor" persists and so even if she was attracted to's almost like paranoia, iunno if it's about being "gamed" or something else, it's weird. There is this barrier and so it's hard to connect on mutual attraction. I will admit I'm not the best at connecting in a shallow way quickly, but if two people are attracted to one another, there should be a sexual spark right? For the most part here, there is no spark. Girls will find me attractive but when it comes to actually expressing that, it's like they don't know how. Like they don't know how to just be natural about sex. Like they are used to it being a situation where they are being cheated in some way. "Rape culture" could have something to do with it. Just generally though I think people do not trust each other as much here. Everyone is trying to gain or keep "value". If you are doing visibly well and attracting people, women will approach because they stand to gain value not lose it. Unless u approach first then they think, hmmm, he must not have that much value.

However, I think the same goes for a lot of men here. They want the dressed up girls because they want to increase their own value. They want to be having sex with only 8-10 because they want to increase their own value, it's really about self-esteem here. In general, men with very high self-esteem slay dragons(sex with less attractive women) all day. Just watch the video of "us against them" with the Hodgetwins, I would say they are the male equiv of 9-10 looks status, ect.
Anyways, I feel one solution maybe a shift in psyche, for anyone willing to give it a shot. To learn how to connect as a human being, and sexually but leaving the self-esteem out of it and seeing where you get that way. Doing this will be more about connecting with humanity as a whole, including the need for good sex, but not expecting something of women, but being compassionate and understanding of them, and from there, approaching with a friendly manner that is maybe not common in Toronto for anyone. Just an idea though, it might not yield any better results than otherwise, especially with no effort placed on meaningful ambition.

Anonymous said...

To Anon who posted on June 15, 2014:

I find your post pretty confusing. The original poster was merely stating that she would prefer some attraction to a guy and that he shares some of her values/is compatible. I don't see why that makes her a 'dumb whore'.

The truth is, for most women, it is preferable to be single than to date or even sleep with a guy that has that attitude towards women. It simply isn't worth the time and energy.

This is nothing to do with being entitled - it is to do with finding someone that you share a connection with. I find it strange that some men seem to think that only very beautiful, slim women are worth the time of day but that this cannot be applied in reverse by women to men i.e. all women should give men with poor attitudes towards women or other unattractive features a chance.

As to 'women needing men' and that they will regret it when they are older, I very much doubt both of those claims. Wanting a life partner or someone you can connect with even if just for one night and not being able to find that person may be disappointing, but is in no way comparable to the disappointment and regret of being with a man that you do not like/have attraction towards or get along with.

Jessica MacDonald said...

Have you ever considered that the men of Toronto suck as well? Toronto sucks, period. After leaving this little box and travelling to other places, I've discovered that the men of Toronto simply suck.

John said...

^^^ Then please write about it. And please go into great detail about how the men of Toronto suck, the same way I have gone into great detail about the women of Toronto.

Kim said...

Hi John,

I'll answer for Jessica! Although I'm not thinking in terms of Toronto Men Suck. That's a bit harsh.. But, they are challenging....

I've never experienced such dismissiveness (not sure if that's a word) from men in my life, then here in Toronto. I don't want to blow my own horn, but to make my point I kind of have to. I'm attractive, tall, slim, nice figure. When I'm traveling anywhere, men smile and stare and approach me.

I'm also very nice. I don't have an 'attitude', I don't think I'm better than anyone. I'm friendly and down to earth. Yet, the attitude I receive almost daily from the men in this city is shocking. It's simply dismissive. They almost act towards me as if I don't measure up! It is SO bizarre. I've lived in other large cities, in the U.S. And Europe, and I've never experienced this kind of attitude before, ever. I used to drive this vintage car, a convertible. Very cute car, 1974 vintage. When I drove it here in Toronto, I very rarely received a smile from any guy, or even as much as a glance. That's not normal. It just isn't.

There's a real attitude from the men here. Let me tell you. I just wish they would be friendlier. I think men are great and I have so much respect for them. It's just so unfortunate that they act this way in Toronto. I get what the men are saying on this post though. I find there is definitely a bitch attitude with the women here. Even I see it! A real smug attitude that makes me sick frankly. Unfortunately the men are acting the same too now. They're giving it back I guess. Sigh.
Those are my 2 cents.

Don't attack me now! I one of the nice ones, lol

John said...

^^^ Hi Kim, I guess men are now giving the attitude back to women, and we've reached the point where it doesn't matter much which side started it. We've internalized the dismissive attitude towards each other and it comes as naturally as breathing.

I really believe you when you say that you are approachable out in public, but I also know that you are rare. It is the self-selecting nature of this blog that brings out those rare types of people who genuinely see a problem with the "system" and want a solution to it, instead of just going along with it. Wanting to put a finger on the problem and wanting a solution to it is what brings the majority of people to this blog. Of course, some people come here to vent, which is fine too.

Even though it's been ages since I cold approached a woman I still have some of that old urge to strike up a conversation every now and then. But then I stop myself because I realize that I would rather save my energy for people that are most receptive, like in meet up groups, for example. Like I've said before, if it's not on a plate I refuse to eat.

Kim Irving said...

Hi John,

When I moved to Toronto, I remember going to this house party one night. Twice in that evening, 2 different guys I had been talking to said to me 'you're not from here are you?' When I asked why they were asking me that ( I was simply curious over the question), both said 'cause you don't act like a Toronto girl. You're nice. And easy to talk to". I kind of wish I had put more thought into those words. Because they were indicative of a 'problem' here in Toronto.

I've met some great friends and I have a fantastic job, and I like Toronto! That's what's kept me here. But I gotta tell you, sometimes I wish I had've taken some of these 'hints' and clued in... And left. What's clearly apparent here, and so obviously in these posts, is how much hatred the guys have for women here. And like I said earlier, I get it. I totally understand. But it seems like even if you're one of the nice, normal ones, they will still hate you. That's how bad it feels the male female dynamic has become. How do I get around this hate? I see it all the time. I've actually had a guy on a few occasions, walk past me and mutter 'bitch'. I have never had that happen to me in my life, prior to moving here. Ever. I had a sister of mine come visit me last summer. The same thing happened to her when we were at Loblaws. She couldn't believe it. It bothered her all day! Lol. She doesn't even live here. She doesn't have this 'bitch shield'.

I don't know. I don't know what to do. I'm just telling you from a nice normal girl perspective. It's pretty bad out there. You have a good blog going here John. I'm really glad I've found it. It helps.

John said...

Hi Kim, I can relate to those 2 guys. There's a distinct difference between how the typical Toronto woman responds in conversation and everyone else. Short, snipped responses are the norm. I've spent many pages articulating all that I've seen, heard and experienced. Most guys come here and find comfort from the fact that they are not the only one who is experiencing the dysfunction of the city.

Unfortunately, the bad experiences people have tend to get projected onto other people. I try to fight this whenever I can. I might look at a pretty girl and think how stuck up she is but then realize that she could actually be very nice, and unless I talk to her I will never know for sure. And you do seem to be one of the pretty girls that is unfairly dissed by guys, and that's really too bad.

But nowadays, when it comes to meeting new people I only do it through meet up groups. There's no way I'm going to bother with bars, clubs, or daytime approaches ever again as a way to meet new people. I recommend you try that out also.

I have gotten a few reader submissions from guys telling me about their experiences with the opposite sex in the city. I invite you to submit your own experiences, if you want, in which you do the same. A female perspective is always a welcome addition on this blog.

Kim Irving said...

Hi John,

I wish more women would post their experiences too. I'd be curious to hear what they have to say. But I think a lot of them have their head stuck too far up their a** to even appreciate that there's a problem.

I was at the gym a while back, in the locker room. I needed to use my phone. These 2 very nice women asked my if I wouldn't mind not using my phone as it was against the locker room rules. I obliged. No problem. They were shocked. They said that they expected me to give them all this attitude, and act like a b**** basically.

The women you guys describe, a lot of us see it too. I get nasty stuffed up faces glaring at me too. It's like they're angry at WHOEVER for just being in their presence.

It just seems to me that Toronto is full of jealous bitter women, who are jealous of each other, and angry at men... And angry men who hate women. Of course there are nice ones too. On both sides. Once and a while you receive a nice smile :)


John said...

Hi Kim, I think that the lack of women posting about their experiences is one of the symptoms of the problem. Stuck up, uppity people don't typically engage in the sort of introspection that leads them to talk about their experiences in the manner done here.

I have long suspected that the anti-male hostility many Toronto women have also has a complementary anti-female hostility as well. They look at each other like "Guelphs and Ghibellines" (quoting Arthur Schopenhauer). It's a hair thin veneer of politeness masking their inner personalities. You can practically write a thesis on the subject.

I have had several reader submissions which I posted on my blog, which is ideal for getting the maximum number of views. I have yet to get a submission from a woman. You would be a good candidate for that. It's up to you though. You're more than welcome to continue describing your experiences within the comments if you prefer.

Anonymous said...

Hi Kim
I want to tell you why Toronto men avoid Toronto women like the plague. Toronto women harass and stalk guys. The more good-looking you are or the more accomplished you are, the greater the harassment and stalking will be. They do this because they like you or they get jealous of you if you do better than them in school or in the workforce. Men in this city have lives but women in this city never leave you alone. They just want the men's attention and the way they do this is by bullying you. If you do not believe me that Toronto women exhibit this kind of behaviour, please read Johhnny Walker's comments ( an American guy who went to university in Toronto) on Roosh V's Toronto sucks Youtube video and read Direwolf's comments on Return of Kings ( Secondly, they give dirty looks to every men they see, including little boys. I remember one girl in a barber shop looked like she wanted to kill me even though I never met her in person. Thirdly, Toronto women will do anything to destroy a man. Gregory Alan Elliott and Jian Ghomeshi are two examples of men who lost their career because of Toronto women. Men in this city will not interact with women in this city because of the fear of losing their careers or not achieving their academic goals. Toronto women will do anything to ruin men's lives. Fourth, Toronto women use men only to get money or to get a good grade in school. Fifth, from the men's experience, the women who move from another city/country to live in this shithole become quickly Torontoized (man-haters, stuck up, rude, cold, fake, distant, destroy men's lives, etc). So men do not bother to approach these types of women. I am surprised you haven' become Torontoized yet. Unfortunately, you will become Torontoized because more men will treat you like a criminal. Shitty women will produce shitty men and shitty men will produce shitty women.

Anonymous said...

I'm wondering if the #metoo trend will make things worse.

Greg Zaun lost his job at sportsnet based on an allegation yet to be proven.

Lesson: don't make friends or overtures are work. Don't help women or mentor will be accused of sexual harassment 15 years later and lose it all.