Thursday, September 29, 2011

Miscellaneous Points

• Dismissing someone's comments because he's bitter because he can't get laid is like dismissing the owner of a crappy car when he complains that the car is a piece of shit. DUH, when else are you supposed to complain, when the car runs well? The most natural response to a crappy situation is to complain about it, so if a guy complains about women because he "can't get laid" then maybe, just maybe it's because there are many women who create situations which make it very difficult to meet or hook up with them, and hence they are crappy. A good indicator of their crappyness is that you can't get anywhere with them, from a simple hello to getting a date, to having sex.

• We are all descended from twice as many women as men. There's a statistic measured from genetic data that 80% of women historically passed on their genes, but only 40% of men did. This means that we are descended from the most "fit" men, and men walking around today are themselves descended from the most alpha men. So it's ridiculous when PUAs say how inept the vast majority of men are when it comes to meeting women, since modern men can only be descended from the most sexually successful men of the past. This is a very under appreciated and unacknowledged fact about men. So it is absurd when PUAs say that the average man supposedly has so much to learn when it comes to meeting women, and that acting "normal" just doesn't cut it with the modern woman. This is in direct odds with the fact that the male ancestors of the average man did just fine acting "normal". The truth is that women, especially attractive western women, have become more narcissistic and demanding than their historical birthright would dictate, so to these women it only seems that very few men are good enough for them, when in fact their ancestral genetic record indicates otherwise. Hence, raising the bar on what men should deliver in order to please the modern woman is completely artificial, let alone ridiculous.

• One argument PUA proponents use for their methods is that acting normal and being themselves doesn't work, so it only makes sense to learn strategies and tricks to get women. But this panders to the spoiled world view of (modern western) women, and furthermore it doesn't even work except in very few random instances, which is a far cry from anything consistent. And it does more harm than good anyway since it communicates to women that they aren't doing anything wrong, just like bailing out wall street doesn't do anything to get them to change their ways, so they continue on with business as usual which is damaging in the long run. The truth is that only a male revolution can change things, the same way that a tyranny can only be overthrown by people banding together. A few rebellious individuals operating here and there cannot effect change.

• Consistent lack of success with PUA methods is an indicator that they do not work. If you put in the effort, and follow the script and you get poor results, then you must conclude that the methods don't work. Now for example, someone might say that your criticisms of Mystery Method (or whatever method) shouldn't be taken seriously because of your low success rate, but at the same time you cannot reach a high success rate using Mystery Method because the method itself doesn't work, or only works marginally. The same goes for other PUA methods.

• Women having contempt for men is laughable, since men, just like women, are a part of humanity (one half of it to be precise), so hating on men is the same as hating themselves.

• Sex is something men buy and women sell, which is an economic representation of the history of male and female relations. But in times past the seller respected the buyer much more than today, and the system was much more functional. However, in the modern dating scene in western societies, the buyer-seller model still applies, but is cleverly disguised with fake courtship rituals and relationship quid pro quo, with the added insult that the sellers (the women) often disrespect the buyers (the men). It's like walking into a store, and instead of being greeted by the merchant you are ignored, and even scorned just for being there. You are starting from a negative position which you must climb out of somehow. In other words, you have to prove yourself worthy before even ATTEMPTING to buy.

• Men, at least in this part of the world, lack backbone with women. The degree to which women have gotten the upper hand is not a testament to the strength of women, but to the weakness of men. In fact, it is very easy to recognize when a woman is scheming or manipulative, but it is only that men are so easily blinded by their sexual impulses that women are allowed to get away with what they do.

• Western women always say they want confident men, but when you confidently approach a woman in a public venue she brushes you off with the cold shoulder, and that's because it is a social taboo to meet strangers in public. But really, it takes a lot of balls to cold approach someone in public, which is precisely what women say they want in a man. Unfortunately, such behaviour is not rewarded, no matter how gutsy it is. So in actual fact, women are only receptive to meeting "confident" men who operate within societies guidelines and restraints, which usually means meeting someone through their peer group, which is a chicken shit standard a man must adhere to in order to meet women.

• In the west, men hating on women is mostly a response to their shitty behaviour towards men. But women hating on men is mostly due to their indoctrination and socially downloaded negative programming towards men.

• If a woman flakes on you and you call her on it she will become very upset, not because you're falsely accusing her, but because in her mind you cannot possibly know that her flake excuse is bogus. So she's upset at your arrogance at assuming something to be true when you have no proof, and it doesn't matter that you are in fact right.

• PUA thinking takes the position that the customer is always right, where the customer in this case is women you are attracted to. With this mindset it's easier to simply go after what you want and do whatever it takes. Except that it takes two to tango and the fact that women themselves (especially western women) are hardly proactive at all in getting men, when there's no reason not to be, means that the dynamics are heavily biased in their favor. To gamers (and some highly ambitious types), if you want something from someone then they are always right, and the only thing that matters is figuring out what it takes to get it from them, and if you don't do this then you will go without. It's a mindset taught as truth without actually being the truth because acting as if it's true will make you as proactive as possible towards achieving your goal.

• Men have an ingrained deep need to do something proactive where women (or any other object of their desire) are concerned. And pursuing, being active, hard selling yourself, using PUA methods, etc. is a way to do something in a powerful way. That's a big part of the appeal.

• Guys learning game embody the idea of not bowing to women only in the context of doing whatever it takes to get them. It's comforting to them to feel like they are not bowing to women while also being as proactive/productive as possible in getting women. It fills two emotional needs at once even though they contradict each other.

• Being picky is not a virtue. So many women act like being highly selective is a good thing, so it's almost as if, to them, the act of rejecting is done just to feel better about themselves. This is certainly true in club environments where many women see men as bowling pins which you can knock down for self-esteem points.

• The fact that women are "everywhere" does not necessarily mean that your odds of meeting them will increase, just like having more people witness someone in distress will not necessarily mean that the odds of someone helping will increase. In fact, the exact opposite happens. This is known as the Bystander Effect, a proven yet counterintuitive phenomenon.

• In magazines and in online articles which show a picture of a man and woman, such as in a relationship context, the man is often shown looking at the woman while the woman is shown looking at the camera. This basically means that the man's focus is on her, while her focus is on the camera. It's almost as if the man is shown as an accessory to make her look good.

• Some men don't like prostitutes because the woman doesn't actually like them, and is just doing it for money. To me that wouldn't matter, anymore than I would care if my mechanic likes me as a person. As long as he can properly service my car, that's all I really want. I'm not paying him to like me. I'm paying him to service my car, the same way I would pay a woman to satisfy me sexually. However, I would want her to respect me. That is important, the same way it's important that my mechanic respects my wishes with respect to my car.

• When men complain about hard to meet women they are often called whiny or defeatist. But the defeatist argument is often used as a shield against deeper and more truthful examinations. And it's also a double standard to accuse men of being negative or defeatist when they complain about unapproachable hard to meet women. What about all the women who walk around with cold bitchy looks on their faces. Aren't they being negative and self-defeating too? How can you expect to meet someone when you carry around a fuck-off vibe? But when men refuse to approach these women because of their bad vibe they are the ones who are accused of being defeatist or lacking boldness.

• From my own experience, a woman who doesn't open up quickly is a lost cause. Yes it's possible to get some kind of positive response from her using wit and funny banter (such as by using PUA material), but unless she decides from the get-go that she wants to know you better you are wasting your time and you will get no where with her. Another point to make is that it is 10x easier for someone to make themselves approachable than it is for you to approach someone who is unapproachable. As a result, the burden should be on women to make themselves approachable rather than men having to overcome their resistance to being approached. So it makes no sense to approach a woman who avoids eye contact and has a fuck-off vibe.

• Attractive white anglo women are generally the worst. They are the British inspired, stiff upper lip, snooty, cliquish, stone-faced women whom the media sees as the gold standard of beauty. They are icy and cold in their demeanor and are highly adept at ignoring the shit out of you, especially if you're a man. You can almost marvel at this ability they have to completely and consistently ignore men in public, but only if you think in terms of how hard it would be for you (a man) to do the same thing towards them. The truth is that it's not an ability they have but rather a lack of something which enables them to treat men as invisible as well as they do. You can call it a lack of wonder, or even curiosity about the opposite sex, which is replaced instead with total indifference. This is hardly an ability worth crowing about in my book. So we shouldn't act so amazed at their ability to do this any more than we should marvel at the ability of a hamster to keep running on it's wheel for hours on end. It's nothing more than a symptom of a weak non-curious mind.

• Men have their faults too, no doubt. But when modern westernized women complain about men it mostly comes across as higher quality complaints about problems that you encounter when you already have the upper hand, and those below you are not measuring up to your standards. It is not that different from how a royal would complain about the misbehaviour of his subordinates and servants - oh look, they dropped the fruit tray again, those idiots. If you look closely at the general complaints men and women have about each other the following pattern emerges:

Women's complaints are generally that men don't measure up in some way. For example, all he wants to do is drink beer and watch sports, or he did X when he should have done Y. The complaints are often just vague descriptions, with not too much detail, and with focus on men's shortcomings (real or perceived).

Men's complaints are generally that they can't connect with women, that they aren't given the time of day, that they can't make progress, that they aren't meeting women's expectations, that they aren't getting positive responses despite putting in the effort.

Women's complaint format: "He's not good enough".

Men's complaint format: "No matter what I do I'm not good enough".

One group is focused on self-improvement and the other isn't. One group is forced to be introspective, and the other isn't. Therefore, which group is most likely to be humbled and realistic in their expectations? Which group is most likely to gain feelings of entitlement and narcissism?

• As a consequence of their bias against men, women raise the bar on what constitutes a "good man" and lower the bar on what constitutes a "bad man".


Robert Moses said...

I just find that if a woman is half-way decent in Toronto, it's like she is untouchable.

Also, I find that Toronto women like to explain to Toronto men how to be men.

Do any of these women like to fuck?

Its like their pussy's are made out of gold or something.

Too many Toronto women think they are worth more than they are.

Its a really fucked up princess syndrome. They get it from TV, their parents, their loser friends.

Toronto women walk around with this air about them that their shit don't stink. That they are better than men.

Toronto women are cold because they think they are free.

Anonymous said...

The bottom line is, that a man feels he needs permission to talk to a woman he doesn't know in public. This is especially true in UK. If a woman won't even look at me, is on a cellphone, sending text messages or reluctant to make some slight gesture of acknowledgement, it feels like I've not been given permission - I say nothing. They have developed the art of looking without looking. I think women know they are doing this and the 'kick' tey get out of being noticed seems to be all they need.

Anonymous said...

Great job to whoever is responsible for this blog. This is certainly a must read for any man within the GTA or that is planning to move to Toronto. I realize the main issues analyzed here are women, and dealing with single life. It certainly should not be this hard. I think in this city even if you move to raise kids, it would still suck. The coldness that society in general seems to embrace has no comparison worldwide. I have traveled to various places in the world and all I can say is that sadly this blog is right about a lot of things.

So, all you men HERE are faced with two choices.

1) GET THE HELL OUT. You will not change anything here. It needs time. If you have it, fine. If you still want to enjoy the remaining years of your youth/life, GET OUT. The world is beautiful and not a scary place like our media sometimes tries to portray it as. You can have amazing lives on so many different countries, cities, interacting with real people and growing through real meaningful relationships (physical or otherwise). Yo uhave already taken the first step by reading this. This process already shows that you belong to a very exclusive group of astute men. You can see further than most. And are very self aware of your own flaws and achievements. You are able to judge on a neutral ground. You are a SURVIVOR. LESSON LEARNED. TIME TO START LIVING.....

2)If you bite the bullet and do choose to stay here. ADAPT. Be feminine, have a gay friend, get a corny joker attitude. And most importantly, get a job/career that can improve your odds to gain greater access to beautiful women. If you are stuck at a desk right now, or wood-chopping or even worse, behind the counter at METRO selling fish, and have decided to LIVE in this city forever, than you will not last long. Get a cool career going (I know it's BS but you already chose to stay here so deal with it).

Personally, I would choose number 1. But I realize that everyone is different and a lot of people simply cannot due to the circumstances they find themselves in. I can understand that.

Furthermore, I like the call for revolution by the author and others. Nevertheless guys, life is meant to be enjoyed everyday. So in the meantime, it gets very lonely, and I know that you want companionship with the opposite sex. You crave sex, you crave mental stimulation. Hence, you need to find a job or a past time that greatly increases your access to these women you want to get with. This might be easier than you think. Just gotta be true with yourself if you actually want this kind of a life.

In reality even if you do get with one or two tens I believe in the long term you would still wish to go back and chose the first option. Simply because besides the obvious satisfaction that those tens might give the average heterosexual male, they have absolutely nothing else to offer. Moreover they are devoid of any real substantial element of desire that makes up our mantra for attraction. They have skipped seduction101 class and went straight to HOWTOLOOSEAGUYIN10DAYS like educational films....


Anonymous said...

As soon as my lease ends, I'm outta here. I already told my landlord. There's no way I'm going to stay here. Life's too short to waste it on fools.

Anonymous said...

only in toronto even ugly women ignore and treat you like scum, wtf is this place ? i hate toronto, i hate this fucking city

Anonymous said...

Toronto women are pigs. They ask for everything and give little in return. Find a nice girl elsewhere and leave this dating hellhole.

Feminist ideology and a complicit academic and media complex have made life in Toronto impossible for heterosexual men.

Joe said...

The sense of entitlement in Toronto women is absolutely appalling.

Anonymous said...

after having traveled the world, living in toronto is an insult to my intelligence, and an insult to humanity. There is so much real suffering in the world and these fucking women, with the power to lead a real change, all they do is be more cruel, materialistic, and merciless than any Canadian man has ever been.

If only truly oppressed women could see what Canadian women are doing with the amount of power they have

If only truly oppressed women could have a millionth of the amount of power Canadian women have

In this city you will lose your soul. Leave while you can.

Phil Atio said...

1. LOL, that was damn funny but true. In fact if one was happily married and everything was going great, he’d be mad to complain.
2. I agree, many PUA are misguided to say most men are beta, or must act alpha to get girls. I’ve been to places like Spain and Mexico where all men are macho and alpha and guess who gets the hot girls = betas. The typical alpha male goes around groping women like bill Clinton or Arnold or cain we both no T.o girls can’t handle that. However to set the record straight PUA argue, (well deangelo) says men are inherently alpha in western society but that feminism has wussified men into being scared of women. After all under the hrco a man can be found guilty of sexual harassment for “starring” at a female co-worker.
3. Some pua argue to act in many different ways like mystery who says to wear big gold chains and funny hats however, some argue just to say certain things like ross Jefferies (using a form of psychology to create attraction through subcontext). PUA methods have worked for me, but I concede that you are right, it doesn’t fix womens bad behaviour.
4. I don’t think it is fair to say no pickup methods work. As David deaneglo points out, only 40% of women at any given time (under 30) are interested in finding someone. Many are in relations and other 60% are just not currently open to a relationship at the moment, so why would they lead you on. Maybe my view is biased by the fact I am viewed as good looking by women, but I found pua methods worked for me because otherwise I found it difficult to go from chemistry and good convo into those full make out sessions. No one ever teaches a man how/when to make out or attract women, so at least admit that PUA teach something valuable. Women teach each other TONNES of tricks on how to attract men, they know exactly what to do to get men, women get help from friends, family, other girls etc.
5. Ok. In all fairness you can’t say all western women. I agree with you 100% that this 110% accurate of Toronto women, no disagreement there. However there are countries like Norway and Australia where women are FAR more sexually open and available, where the average T.O. man would have dozens of women drooling all over him. When I was in Sweden, women PURPOSEFULLY made I contact with me and they smiled at me, and wanted me to talk to them. When they first did this, I was creeped out because of my Toronto conditioning to avoid eye contact with women or else I might be accused of rape. But after like 2 hours I got use to it and started getting women like crazy, and this was not even with pick up material, they were just normal. Now its not like Italian/Swedish girls don’t have their own set of problems because they are western but comparing them to Toronto women is like comparing Turkish moderate muslims to extremist Taliban muslims. Also I knew no Swedish people when first arriving in Sweden and knew no Italians but there was none of that cliquish bull caca, women openly flirt with men in Italy. However, I concede England is not that much different from Canada. Yeah its utterly crazy that women in T.O. want men to approach them when they walk around with those stone angry faces. If they mad eye contact and smiled like normal women when they were semi interested then at least it’d be a more reasonable request.
6. Again, women in any other major US/NA city hit on men, just not Toronto, its not usual but if a woman finds you attractive in nyc she will no doubt at least try to start a conversation with you.
7. I agree, it makes no sense to approach the fuck off vibe people
8. If you have never lived outside of Toronto/na you do not understand how perverse their behaviour. I just assumed until I left all women were psychos and stuck up like this but, it is unique.

dahlingdarling said...

1. Perhaps some clarification on the confidence bit: wanting a confident guy doesn't mean you want all types of confidence or will take any guy with confidence. Just as a guy who likes blondes doesn't necessarily mean he likes all blondes or will date any blonde gal.

2. The men hating on women is response to shitty behavior by women seems like blame shifting and excuses.

Both genders act shitty towards one another.

One could say that women hating on men is mostly a response to men's shitty behavior towards women.

3. I have yet to have commonly experience a guy accused of being a defeatist or lacking bolding for refusing to approach unapproachable gals. Most applaud guys who don't approach gals that look unapproachable.

I have commonly experienced a guy accused of a being defeatist and negative for lashing out at unapproachable women, dictating women should look approachable, or assuming all or most gals don't want to be approached.

To me it's not a double standard nor are the gals self-defeating/negative unless those same gals are complaining about how guys don't approach them.

The logical fallacy in the 'how can they expect' bit is you're assuming the gals want to meet someone when they carry around a fuck-off vibe.

Most likely they carry around a fuck-off vibe because they don't want to meet someone.

Most likely they don't carry around a fuck-off vibe when they want to meet someone.

I know many gals who wear wedding rings to deter guys and when they are interested in a romantic/sexual relationship off comes the ring. Sometimes off comes the ring when they see a guy they are interested in.

5. My experience of men's complaints:
I don't see many men complaining about how they can't connect with gals outside of a sexual connection.

I don't see many men complaining about not meeting women's expectations. When it comes to expectations it seems most guy's complaints aren't about meeting them but either complaining women their expectations are unrealistics or dictating what their expectations should be.

I do see many wo/men complain they aren't given the time of day or their not getting positive responses despite efforts.

To sum it up many of the complaints were about not getting attention from women or women they wanted.

Extremely different experiences as to what guys generally complain about. Generally the complaints I've heard fom men were hateful or misgynostic. It was essentially insulting or degrading gals as a whole particularly American gals. I generally hear/see how gal are golddiggers, evil, whores, sluts, bitches, dykes, feminazis, owe sex, should be treated like cattle, etc.