Tuesday, March 22, 2011

The Clique Culture

The clique culture works like this. You form a close-knit group of friends as soon as possible and then everyone else can pretty much fuck off.

Cliques are typically formed early on in school and the workplace, but especially in school since the formation period usually occurs when there are a lot of new people and they don't know each other. So they immediately go into clique forming mode. Note that this is different from friend finding mode where you are open to meeting new people. Clique forming mode is a primitive yet uninspired survival mindset where you are determined to form a close-knit group of "cool" friends to make it through the rest of your time. It's a tribal forming period, a chance to develop the unmovable calcified network which is very resistant to new people entering.

The unspoken (and sometimes spoken) rule of this calcified network is that all relationships, both personal and romantic, must develop from within it. Anyone who breaks this rule will be subject to harsh criticism, especially women should they (for example) decide to meet a man who is a "stranger", which is basically anyone who does not have some tie to the clique. At minimum this man must know at least one other person within the clique network for him to be considered "safe".

The most common clique formation period is the first few weeks of school, either elementary school, high school, or post-secondary. And if you don't form your clique early on you are largely screwed, and you will experience a large degree of relationship starvation. There will of course be some opportunity for building close friends and having hook ups, but for the most part you will be relegated to having lots of acquaintances instead.

It is very common for people, decades after graduation, to only have friends whom they met in school many years before. In all that time no one new entered the picture, unless of course that person already knew someone from inside the calcified network, and that was their way in.

Some calcified networks are almost impossible to penetrate, even in the most "acceptable" social environments. For example, you could be at a house party and even though you know the host, the cliques present at the party will snub you even though you know the host. And the reason certain cliques will snub you even in this instance is because they carry an additional level of calcification in their clique structure: The time limit. These particular cliques form with the rule (spoken or unspoken) that no one else is allowed in after a certain time limit. This time limit can either be actual time (like days, or weeks) or the time at which a certain critical number of members is reached. After that, everyone else can keep the fuck out.

But one interesting thing about cliques is that they tend to get smaller and smaller over time. In other words, they naturally decay and grow weak over time. The reasons are usually that people within the clique just naturally drift apart, or they move away geographically, or they get married and as a result no longer have the time. But like real troopers clique members hold on to the belief that all new connections must happen from within the clique network. It does not matter that they may end up going without dates or sex for very long periods of time. The idea that they can meet someone new from outside the network just positively scares them, as it's a major social taboo in their minds, so they won't do it. Vibrators it seems, are a much better alternative.

If you want to know where disgruntled clique members often end up just look at the internet personals. The internet personals is full of formerly cliquish people who have finally thrown in the towel and are now open to meeting someone new because their cliques have finally dried up. Of course this will only happen if the person is not overly picky. Highly picky disgruntled clique members will never meet anyone on the personals because they can never seem to find anyone good enough for them anyway. This is especially true for women who may have plenty of choices from within the calcified network, but due to their inflated egos and sense of entitlement they never jump on any of those opportunities. So meeting these women online is more than just a clique away. It's damn near impossible and a waste of fucking time.

In summary, the clique culture is a loser culture. It promotes snobbish attitudes and exclusivity, and it kills spontaneity. It creates a phony sense of belonging and security while turning you into a head-in-the-sand nitwit who turns down outside opportunities based on twisted tribal logic. It is anti-freedom and pro-conformance. It turns you into a drone who believes that good things only happen within the clique, and in a way this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy since such a drone will only put their best foot forward while inside the clique's web, while shutting down all opportunities outside the clique.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Common Obstacles To Meeting Women In Public

These are the common obstacles you have to go through in order to meet a quality woman in a public place. They occur in the following order:

1. She ignores you when you try to start a conversation with her.

2. She doesn't ignore you but avoids eye contact and keeps responses short.

3. She gives good responses and is looking at you when talking to you, but only with polite conversation (not genuine interest).

4. She seems genuinely interested, but when you ask for her number she says she has a boyfriend.

5. She seems genuinely interested and gives you her number when you ask, but when you call her she doesn't answer, or she does but is too busy to get together.

6. She seems genuinely interested and gives you her number when you ask. You call her and set up a get together, but then you find out she is reserved, has issues with intimacy, or is uptight and wants to "wait". Another possibility is that you two get together, hit it off but then she flakes on you for a future get together (just as things are about to heat up). She flakes because she feels that she could still do better than you, irrespective of the fact that she had a good time with you on the date.

7. You get together and have sex but she sees it as a bargaining chip, which means you have to take her to dinner or something similar. Or she just feels guilty for having sex and is acting out some form of buyer's remorse.

8. You have sex, and get along great, but then you never hear from her again.

9. You have sex and genuinely enjoy each others company, and continue seeing each other without any games. This is the ideal situation.

To meet a quality woman from cold approaching, you have to get past eight obstacles (numbers 1 to 8) before getting to number 9. But if you meet her through friends then you start at number 3. But you still have to get past six obstacles (numbers 3 to 8) before getting to number 9. So most potential problems still remain even if you meet a woman through socially accepted channels.

When guys complain about how hard it is to meet women in public the response of women is usually something along the lines of, they don't owe the guy anything, you're just a stranger, she's too busy, she can't be bothered, she is not attracted, she doesn't like to be hit on, etc. But if you pay close attention you see that women generally view men approaching them as an annoyance like a stranger pestering them for change, so no matter what you say it's the wrong thing. The bottom line is that women do not want to meet men in public for romantic connections. This is 100% social conditioning, since there's nothing inherently wrong with it. So it's not that you're necessarily doing something wrong in the delivery, it's that women have preemptively made up their minds that they don't want to meet you. So the reasons women often give for not wanting to meet men in public are just excuses to cover up that they really don't want to meet you in the first place, and nothing you say or do can change that. To understand this better imagine a beggar complaining that people usually snub him when he asks for change, and in response people say that there's something wrong with his approach, or they're too busy, or he's too scruffy or whatever. And if he just changed his appearance and approach he would get much better responses. But that would be ridiculous since the real reason people are snubbing him is because he IS asking them for change. Would a shaven clean cut guy asking you for change make you want to give change more? And what if he had a cute back story before he asks you for change? Would that change your mind?

Another excuse women use is that they get approached all the time and that is why they have a right to act bitchy. But they don't get approached all the time. However, because of their bias, this is just another stock excuse they pull out of the excuse jar as to why they act so standoffish. It's easy to see that this is an excuse, and not to mention a lie. Go to any public place and watch how many times attractive girls get approached. Outside of a bar environment I've seen it maybe a dozen times max in my life. Most guys don't approach women because they instinctively feel they will be rejected. And they're right.

*** Just to address one of the stock criticisms often aimed at guys who complain about tough to get females, I don't imply that women should jump into bed with you right away. There are obviously steps involved, like getting the number, calling, getting together, kissing, and so forth. But these steps should be EASY to go through, transitioning effortlessly from one to the next, like climbing a flight of stairs, pretty easy to do for most.