Monday, August 9, 2010

My Experience With Ontario Women

A search on the internet reveals a lot of negative opinions on the behaviour of women in the U.S. But I can tell you that Canadian women are not better. And in some places, such as Toronto and area, the women are among the worst of the worst. It's something that has become more and more evident as time went on. The thing is that the coldness and aloofness of women here is so COMMON that it becomes accepted. Women go out of their way to avoid contact with others while out in public. They might appear passive on the surface, but believe me they are VERY active in the art of avoidance and subterfuge. It's gotten to the point where I'll size up a situation quickly and not bother to "tough it out" and see if something good happens. I'll just leave and go elsewhere.

About 8 years ago I was what many in the seduction community would call an "AFC". It's not a term I like, but it gets the point across. I was at that point where PUA and related concepts became very important to me to get out of this dating rut I was in. Back then "game" seemed like the ultimate answer to a poor social life and lack of women in my life, but after years of experience and trial and error I have come to realize that "game" is only a life raft. If you are sinking and don't know how to swim it can help you overcome some of your biggest mistakes. But it's all relative. If you're starving even a shit sandwich can seem appetizing. But admittedly I did have a fair degree of success with PUA material. The only problem was the level of success was in many ways abnormal; the women were shallow, manipulative, stimulation seeking, emotionally unregulated drama queens. PUA material was merely a way to navigate a broken system, a way to get results, no matter how lacklustre those results are, and then call it success.

It's worth mentioning that the best women I met were the ones that didn't require game. Everything was normal, and went seamlessly. So it's completely untrue that good game gets good women. Overcoming obstacles is not the path to getting good women. That's why I now only screen for women who make it easy for me. The law of returns works in my favor. The same goes if you only want sex. The best lays are "fool's mate" lays, contrary to what Mystery et al believe.

Over time I began to see that the seduction community has two major flaws: The first flaw is that it teaches you the very contradictory message that you have to learn to be masculine and be your own man while catering to women and their actions. So no matter what she does, it's up to you to calibrate it for best effect. If she wants cocky and funny you better be cocky and funny. If she wants an asshole you better be that too. If she wants entertainment and you aren't entertaining then she will move on to the next guy who is.

The second flaw is that the seduction community never or rarely addresses those things that women are doing wrong. It's like a child who throws a tantrum and instead of disciplining him or her you take the position that you have to find out what it is they want and give it to them. There's this intense fear that if you call out women on their misbehaviour you are a chump or weak or unable to take it like a man. So rather than do that, many guys prefer to just take the "spoil the child" approach to getting laid. Game is basically a coping strategy for women's rotten behaviour. If a woman has attitude and is unresponsive god forbid you tell her to open up. It's your job to figure out what buttons to push.

It's not hard to see that game and PUA material is a downward spiral. I digress...

It has become crystal clear to me that the best women are elsewhere, in less feminized countries. Although I have not traveled much I know for sure that women abroad are better. In fact, some of the friendliest and most open women I have met came here from overseas. And I've known guys who moved here and have taken a serious hit in their social life. So some might say that the traveler status helps, and when guys say they do better abroad it's because of that. Now, there is likely some truth to that, but like I said, I've known guys who have moved here from overseas who suddenly found themselves dateless and having a hard time making connections.

In my neck of the woods, women follow this rigid structure on where and how to meet men. As a result I've only ever met women at clubs and through the internet. Despite many, many attempts I have almost never met anyone through daytime pickup; either at the mall, bookstore, bus stop etc. You would think it was easy. Well you would be wrong.

Some might say that I wasn't gaming right or I was doing something wrong. That may have been more true in the beginning. But now I know it's the women that are closed off. It becomes most obvious when I get much better reactions from women when I meet them through friends or acquaintances (the accepted channels), but when I meet them out in public there's this wall that comes up. Hard to explain, but it's like this polite on the surface, but wanting to get the hell out of there vibe. And yet I am the same person everywhere, but the location makes all the difference. The PUA stuff is not a solution to this. It can help a bit but they already have to be into you. I resisted this notion for the longest time but eventually I concluded that if you have overcome your shyness and are comfortable talking with strangers then PUA won't help. PUA only helps if you are very introverted; in which case PUA gives you material to work with, kind of like training wheels. There's also probably a placebo effect where you feel good about it and that shows in your overall vibe, making you more attractive.

So the only real benefit of PUA is that it's a template to get you talking, but it's no more useful than religion is to make you a better or more attractive person. Guys who cling to this are simply in life-raft mode, scared to move on to solid land or to greener pastures.

It's a shame that these so-called PUA gurus are getting so much attention, with guys spending tons of money on their products. But none of these gurus talk about the dysfunctional dating culture in North America. To do that would admit a weakness that can't be marketed, and these guys have money to make. Take David DeAngelo for instance, who does provide some good information, but also some very bad. He seems to underscore all his good advice with this one sentence: "Do this to get women". Learn hobbies, be funny and interesting dot-dot-dot because it helps you get women. You have to wonder how far along he really is in his personal development.

Then there's Mystery, always teaching coping techniques on how to deal with any and all adverse dating situations. His classic line is: "Men must learn to attract women or their genes will be mercilessly weeded out of existence". Great line by the way, plays on fear. And once the fear is primed a solution is offered. Very cult like. The only problem with this classic line is that it's relatively easy to eventually propagate your genes with someone, even in this dysfunctional culture, as long as you go out enough and talk to enough women. And the whole notion of "HB10" or "beautiful women" is biased because in Mystery's and his followers view, only dolled up 18-25 year olds are beautiful or "perfect 10s", and since the techniques play on these women's insecurities (typical for girls this age) they are lauded as superior; i.e. they get the "best women". If the techniques don't work, and they won't on older more intelligent women it is said that these women are not the best anyway. Yada yada and you can say that the techniques are engineered to get the highest quality women and they won't work on the lower value women (anyone over 25). It's PUA sleight of hand basically. The thing is, with evolutionary psychology arguments you can prove just about anything. Lots of makeup is called superior beauty and immaturity is called exceptional femininity. Therefore, the (dysfunctional) techniques work on the "most beautiful, most feminine women".

Interestingly, Mystery comes from Toronto, Ontario. So his techniques are a kind of adaptation to the type of women there. It's very telling and I would say useful from an academic point of view. However, such techniques do not work well on women who have not been exposed to feminist and media-inspired dogma. The techniques can only work on stupid immature women, although very inconsistently, but still, if they work on anyone at all it would be the stupid immature women.

Toronto is extremely politically correct, and feminism thrives there, ruining relationships between men and women. I can attest that it's a very bad city to meet women. Even the best women, relatively speaking, leave a lot to be desired. But if I post this complaint on a PUA forum the majority of responses are going to be, do more push/pull, qualifying, compliance testing etc. That will not work when you are up against indoctrinated fear and hatred of males. This is one main reason that I moved away from Toronto, and things are better where I am. But since I'm still in Ontario, the problems still exist, but to a lesser degree.

Don't get me wrong, I do think men honestly need to look at themselves and be willing to fix their issues. But we also can't ignore that women need to do their part too. THAT is what is missing from this culture: criticism of females. The assumption is always that men need to do the self-improvement part. But learning how to meet women will only go anywhere if the women are willing to do their part. Why should I put my best foot forward and go to all these lengths to meet women when they have already made up their mind that they don't want to meet me. Why throw pearls to swine? Sure, you can argue that maybe I'm doing something wrong. And that's possible, but if it is always assumed that the guy is at fault, then is it not likely that, in the absence of forced female introspection, women will become increasingly blind to their own shortcomings? And as a result, is it not likely that the true fault will eventually shift to women for the most part.

But nope, don't criticize women. Instead cope, be a man, and keep a positive attitude. But a positive attitude won't help if women have an axe to grind. One thing I've learned is that a positive attitude helps but not with women who act like stone-faced gatekeepers. I've gone into many situations with a positive attitude and gotten burned. Shit happens. Just tell that to the survivors of a natural disaster who seconds before were living and enjoying life. You do not have control over everything. It's a certain new-age bullshit that has creeped into many people's thinking that has made a mockery of rational thinking.

Another point I want to make is that good looks don't help that much in this feminist climate. I know this because I've gotten many girls and a few guys tell me I'm very good looking, but that doesn't help that much. Most girls when they see me automatically assume I'm a player who will only use them, so even though they might be attracted they are indoctrinated to resist "alpha" males. So it's very ironic that if every woman assumed that I get all the girls — but as a matter of principle I won't get her — then I will hook up with nobody! Fortunately, I do hook up once in a while (definitely not often) but only with those few women who don't care that much who else I might be fucking. It's funny how that works, but it's basically sexual politics. If you are a Liberal, and by definition the strong alpha guy is a Conservative, then you will refuse to be with them because they are your political enemy. Men, or rather masculinity, in this feminized country, is the political enemy of the extreme Left. The result is a socialist unspoken tyranny against men. You see this everywhere, if you just keep your eyes open. This tyranny is most played out in divorce courts, custody battles, domestic violence, funding of women's programs vs. men's, and the whole dating sphere.

So in closing, I have eventually concluded that I need to travel to meet quality women on a consistent basis. It is not necessarily overseas, but it can just be in other cities in the province; places that for whatever reason might not be as strongly indoctrinated in feminism and male-hating. Of course, I'm sure the real improvement will be to go overseas. The truth is that I can't improve myself more than I have, so all that's left is to go where the women are themselves improved.


Anonymous said...

My game isn't particularly tight -- I haven't put much time into cultivating it. However, when I was in Europe most recently, I made out with two girls within the course of a week, just because I was willing to approach. I didn't seal the deal on either of them, but for a guy who gets laid with only about one, maybe two girls a year, and very sporadically, I was impressed.

I was primed to do the same thing upon returning home to Portland, OR, but I quickly lost motivation, as the thought of dealing with the aloof, flakey bitches here just makes me tired. All guys who live her describe the women here in the same way that you describe Toronto women. It's crazy, because most of them are from somewhere else, but the city attracts the exact same type of women. Most of the women I've hooked up with were local white girls with blue collar backgrounds and Asian girls. As far as the transplants go -- which is most women here -- forget about it. They're a nightmare. Even girls who put themselves out there by doing online dating seem to be just doing it for entertainment -- they don't actually want to get anything out of it.

Anonymous said...

I wish I had your personal email to thank you, but this will have to suffice.

I'm a very fit guy, 39 years old, used to model full-time, and have a good career. My personality is easy-going and fun-loving; admittedly I am a 'guys guy' and definitely have some 'alpha' traits. I have an outgoing personality and have never, ever, had an issue meeting women until...

I recently moved to Toronto.

I was excited about my move, and being single, thought this would be a great time in my life to date; there really are so many beautiful women in this city.

Nothing was further from the truth. I found the women of Toronto to be cold, heartless, self-centered, egotistical, and downright brutal; their beautiful facades were simply masks for man-hating, super-villains.

I tried bars for a while, but forget that. Toronto women travel in gaggles of like-minded, man-eaters. Online dating was worse, as many of them seem to have severe character flaws and personality disorders. Hell, even the homely gals weren't immune to the 'Toronto Syndrome'. They were every bit as bitchy as their beautiful sisters.

In the end, I altogether just stopped dating and talking to the women.

Last month some work buddies invited me back to my hometown. We went out to a popular bar and guess what? My mojo was right where I left it...

I met some great women; intelligent, easy-going, and gorgeous. I had a 'romantic weekend' with one of the women I'd met, last weekend, and it was fantastic.

Unfortunately, my contract specifies that I cannot transfer back for another six months, but the moment it does I'm moving back home. I'll take the salary hit, to get as far away from these women as humanly possible.

Bottom line - you speak the truth! I was seriously starting to think I had issues. Thanks for the article and please continue the good fight.

I'm sure there are a lot of men who are new to this city who need some reassurance that the problem with the women of the city, doesn't solely lay in the mens court.

Good Luck!

John said...

Toronto women are in a class of their own, and in my view it is the worst city in Ontario for meeting women. It really takes you by surprise when you first get here, and I imagine for guys who are new to dating Toronto can be particularly awful, especially if they have no other place as a reference point. Good thing I had a reference point before moving to Toronto a few years ago. Not only did I hook up with less girls than before but my hookups were of lower quality than before.

I'm happy to say I no longer live in this social wasteland of a city, as it certainly seemed to bring out the worst in me, which in some ways actually helped a bit because Toronto women themselves respond most to dysfunctional personality traits.

Glad I could help you put some of the pieces together. The shipwreck that is dating in Toronto is still a largely unspoken problem which many men are in denial about. So you're doing the right thing moving away. When half the population is mostly poisoned against the other half, you get a pretty shitty place to live.

Anonymous said...

I have read some of these comments and I whole heartedly agree. This city is complete nightmare when it comes to dating women. Females born and raised outside of our culture tend to be easier to talk to, and basically that's how you find out if you like someone. In Toronto, females will show disdain or contempt without shame. I kinda understand why some women get assaulted or molested.

Hamze said...

You fucking pieces of shit

"I kinda understand why some women get assaulted or molested."

You fucking loser no wonder women don't like you you can't stand being around them so they can't stand your ass either

John said...

^^^ He didn't say he was in favor of it, just that he understood how some individuals would resort to it given the times.

On a similar note, I can also understand how someone who is constantly abused may become an abuser themselves, but that does not mean I'm in favor of it. I'm not.

Anonymous said...

I've never lived in such a horrible city in my life. I just moved here from Europe 2 months ago and the problem with Toronto women was crystal clear from the first night I went out to try and socialize. Cold faces, eyes that peripherally focus on you, but look right past you and just a blatant air of unjustified superiority are some of the things any guy will have to deal with. The city itself has many cool things to see and do, but the loneliness one feels in Toronto just takes all the pleasure away. I've decided to cut my losses and get the hell out of here, not even to return for a vacation. Even if it was all paid for. I'm a very good looking young man that makes great money and I deserve something better. The women in Toronto have ruined this city for me and through all my travels, I would say that Toronto women are some of the least attractive females I've seen. Most of them are overweight and lack the gorgeous figures seen in mediterrenean women.the pieces just don't fit as to why they would behave the way they do.

Anonymous said...

Its the schools, media and omnipresent feminist anti-male racket. I grew-up here and went through the education system. It is all out in the open and the only women that have treated me decently (like a human) were the exception to the rule. I am leaving here soon, staying in Canada but any city is better than here. It is no surprise why the male suicide rate is so high given how poorly the average man is treated by women and other men. Very dehumanizing.