Wednesday, August 19, 2009

I Have Only Met Women At Clubs And Online

I have rarely connected with a woman anywhere else, and I've done hundreds of approaches in various daytime venues. It's extremely unlikely in my experience to meet girls anywhere but at clubs and through dating websites. I pondered the reasons for this for a long time, and eventually it occurred to me why this is.

In this neck of the woods women are only open to meeting men in structured environments. Anything that falls outside the straight and narrow, women will AVOID. It's a very tribal mentality, and not to mention a cowardly and socially stale way of looking at the world. But where I'm living, it's the order of the day.

I know guys sometimes meet girls at various daytime settings, but after extensive research I know that for me personally I'm wasting my time with that approach. Instead, it's gotta be through friends or at clubs, or through dating websites which are there for the well-understood and socially accepted purpose of meeting other people. If you don't follow (constrain) yourself to this you won't connect with people here.

It seems to be the Canadian way, to follow rules and strict protocol, or at least the Ontarian way. God forbid you take a chance and do something different. I can't speak from the women's side and what it's like for them to meet men outside the usual realms, BUT as a guy who's done this for YEARS I can say that if there was a significant percentage of women open to this I would have met a significant number of them by now. But nope. Chicks here are timid and often narrow minded about where and how they make romantic connections.

It's just plain stupid.

You might be wondering, what happens when I make an attempt to talk to girls at some place like Chapters or as I'm passing alongside them on the sidewalk? Nothing. We exchange a few polite worlds and that's it. No problem there. They don't HAVE to talk to me. But the complaint is not about individual responses, but rather the collective herd mentality, which is guiding these women as a WHOLE towards avoiding meaningful and potentially very rewarding interactions with men in the not-so common of places. And for all those women that say they would love to meet a guy at the store but no one talks to them, well, where the hell were YOU when I was there? You were too busy and pre-occupied with whatever it is you were doing to bother, and you kept your responses deliberately short with a hint of coldness as if to send me a signal that I was infringing on your personal space. Well, fuck you! I didn't have to talk to you, and although I can't speak for absolutely all women I will say that 99% of you are all sheep doing the same damn thing. So for that special 1% that is worth the effort, I'm sorry, there's just too many of you that are not worth it for me to put serious effort into this any longer. I am forced to rely on clubs and online dating for the staple of my romantic connections, because you're mostly all too clueless to understand that there is a whole other world out there that has its doors wide open for you but you're too stupid to walk through them.

So put back on your earphones and resume texting your buddies in that catatonic avoiding-eye-contact-trance you call daily life. From now on, you gotta come to me or at least make it real fucking easy for me to engage you by way of open body language and a sexy style which basically screams "talk to me", otherwise my mouth stays shut. And believe me, I have a radar for this. It's just that so many times I've gone against what my instincts have told me when I felt that a woman wouldn't be receptive, figuring that if I feel this way so often it must be a limiting belief on my part. But nope, my instincts have been right all along. My radar is not broken. I just have to get used to the fact that so many of you are unreceptive cowardly sheep and my radar will almost always pick up nothing. But that's okay. I can walk by a hundred of you and pick up nothing and know that you would all be a waste of time. How can I be so arrogant you might ask? Because, unlike you, I have a huge database of reference experiences and I know who's worth it and who isn't.

So, for those few women who genuinely want to meet someone in the non-structured way, be prepared to put your best foot forward and learn to send out good signals, otherwise we will be like two ships passing in the night. Furthermore, it won't be enough to just have the desire. Your actions have to speak loudly and clearly. So if you really do want to meet me but are too scared to show it, you will be no better than the girl that doesn't show interest because she's not interested. So you will have played your chance badly. Too bad for you. From now on I only screen for confident sexy women who aren't AFRAID to show interest. I already do this in clubs and online, but now I'm extending this to daytime venues.

But realistically, I have no great expectations in this regard. I know I will not encounter such confident women often. Why? Because the very fact that so many of you refuse to connect with a handsome and friendly stranger outside your comfort zone, on his initiative, means that you will be equally averse to taking the initiative yourself.

But at the same time, I don't need many women. Just one or two, maybe three really great ones. And I know you are out there.


Anonymous said...

Dennis from Chicago...

I'm having a different dilemma. Meeting women online and clubs and bars is no longer viable for me and also I'm finding that meeting women outside of their social circles can be difficult as well. Women here in Chicago seem to have an inherent bias against meeting men who are not part of their work or who are not introduced by their friends or family members. I know that safety is an issue for women, but DAMN, man. I also observe the sheep mentality as well being that women are generally too chicken shit or too ignorant to know how to attract a man. This is the reason that I prefer confident girls who are sexy and who KNOW that they are sexy, not insecure girls who won't fuck with you because they feel that you are too tall, handsome, and intelligent to keep you.

If I were a man of means, I wonder would I even date at all. I would probably just buy prostitutes. What would be the point of even talking to these mindless DRONES out here on the dating scene if the outcome is not going to be much different than the LAST girl that I met (a few sport fucks, followed by boredom, and eventual split)?

By the way, I read that in Germany, where hooking is LEGAL, the economy has gotten so bad that some whore houses are offering ALL DAY SEX for $100. If that went down here in the States, the dating industry would take a hit, and it would probably force women to step up their game. There wouldn't be as much DEFENSIVENESS when it comes to meeting men.

Vittorio said...

Dennis, online isn't too bad, but I would prefer to meet women outside of clubs, especially as I'm getting older. So lately I've been stepping up my efforts in daytime thinking this time could be different than before. But no, same unreceptive attitudes as always. But it's funny, the best response I got was from a high school girl who was probably 15-16 yo. She was super friendly, and I'm sure she was interested but my cutoff is 18. And it made me think, if such a young girl can be so easy to talk to, what the heck is going on with the older ones. It must be that they develop social inhibitions, or rather are talked out of meeting strangers as they get older. Because there's no way that coldness is a natural state. It's the culture that fucks people up.

So I have to resort to these structured environments where the premise is to meet people, because anywhere else is taboo. But even in that regard all clubs/bars are not equal. I have to choose the right ones otherwise it's the same problem, where the girls have attitude and refuse to talk to anyone.

I have thought of prostitutes, especially since my sex life is sporadic and I generally can't rely on any particular woman for more than a few fucks anyway. But I can't shake the feeling that I would be giving a girl good sex and PAYING her for it. It's a feeling I can't tolerate. I suppose I could just get her to give me blowjobs where I derive most (all) the pleasure, that way I don't feel bad about paying her lol.

It seems that most western women are caught up in a payment paradigm where sex is concerned. They cannot enjoy sex by itself. They need to get something for it; either expensive dates, validation (by fucking high status men), money (as in prostitutes), or relationships (code word for lots of attention).

So naturally I refuse all of these because it means I'm paying her twice and she just pays me once.

And besides, by "paying" the most I get is sex anyway. If I genuinely wanted to enjoy a woman's company I couldn't do it under that circumstance.

The only way to fix this shit is for guys to take an activist approach and voice their opinion. This is already happening with the creation of various subcultures like the seduction community and forums/websites speaking out against the actions of western females, and the bias that exists in their favor.

Raising your individual price is another way. Like I was saying in this post, only talk to females that put their best foot forward. It really does work, and you get the highest quality women (although it probably won't be very often since most women are subpar quality). BTW I have found the best women to be self-employed/entrepreneurs, not the drones you see on the death march to work every morning. Just gotta find where they hang out.

Anonymous said...

Good post. I agree. What makes it worse is that the clubs in Toronto suck as more and more women refuse to meet men there. And online dating has all kinds of problems.

You should post this on craigslist.

Shawn said...

It's like this in Minnesota too. I've actually only met one girl at a club that went home with me, and none that I have had sex with. People in clubs and bars in my experience stick with their group and only talk with their group. Most people nowadays meet via online, school, work, friends, or church.