Saturday, August 29, 2009

Women Are 50-100 Times More Likely To Be Approached Than A Man

Out of curiosity I used the Google Keyword tool, and typed in different keywords to see how many people were looking up how to approach men, or women. Google Keywords is very useful because it gives you the search volume for keywords you specify, which is useful for internet marketers, and guys like me who just want basic info.

I typed in common keywords people might type in Google, such as: "approaching men", "approaching women", "how to pick up men", "how to pick up women", "how to approach men", "how to approach women", etc. And to get as much accuracy as possible I set the match type to 'Exact'.

What I found was that there are many more searches on how to approach, or pick up women, then there are searches on how to approach, or pick up men. Looking at the numbers, I found the difference to be around a factor of 50-100. So, for example, if 100 people are looking up how to approach/pick-up men, there are 5000-10000 people looking up how to approach/pick-up women. Now, the Google Keywords tool obviously can't specify the gender of those people performing the searches, but it's safe to assume that men are doing the looking up where women are concerned, and women are doing the looking up where men are concerned.

The difference between 100 and 5000-10000 is huge, and it confirms what most of us already know, that men are generally putting much, much more effort into chasing after women, than vice-versa.

Without too much of a stretch you can argue that (on average) women are around 50-100 times more likely to be approached by a man, than the other way around. This level of skew is unheard of, even in the animal kingdom, and especially where primates are concerned (our closest relatives in the animal kingdom). So there's no way this is natural, not one bit.

In fact, it's pretty much a result of negative socialization, chivalry gone bad, etc. And it confirms how much of a time waster chasing women is, just because of the level of skew you're up against. The numbers themselves suggest deliberate subterfuge on the part of the women. So it's like two competing teams, where one is completely on the offensive and the other is completely on the defensive. So by chasing women I'm essentially playing offense, and she is doing everything she can to block my shots. Fuck that!

I see only one way to fix this insanity. And that is to refuse to play offense any longer. Refuse to play ball with any woman who doesn't show clear signs that she wants to get with you. And if there's any resistance on her part, you walk off the field.

When Is It Your Fault?

I've often wondered how much I am to blame for the bad things I've experienced with women, especially those things that have repeated themselves over and over. Was I the cause of that somehow? It's definitely worth considering. There's a saying that goes, if the same thing keeps happening to you over and over, the common element is YOU. And there is a lot of truth to that. But a lot of times, due to pride, we are reluctant to point the finger at ourselves.

However, to figure out where the truth lies, you need to put aside your ego. I like to call this taking an observer state, where you pretend you are observing things that are happening to you and have happened to you, in a detached way. This is useful because an observer is not invested in any particular outcome, so his conclusion will be unbiased.

Years ago I went through a pretty misogynistic phase when I was living in Toronto, as a result of my experiences. I grew very resentful towards women. As this anger grew it affected some of my interactions. But I reached a point where I could no longer take the gut-wrenching emotions, so I just decided one day to stop hating and work on improving myself instead. I was a few years into the pick-up scene at that point, but it didn't matter. I was willing to start over with new beliefs, even if it meant admitting that I had been wrong all along. And as things progressed I did notice somewhat of an improvement in my interactions with women. I was attracting some better woman, and my experiences were noticeably better. But, I found that no matter how consistently I put my best foot forward, I would still run into crappy situations quite often. So essentially, I ran into a "wall" where I could do no more from my end. And in fact, some of the things I was experiencing were the same as before when I was in my misogynistic phase. So my perceptions were not entirely wrong before. They were maybe just exaggerated in some ways. So the shit sandwich really was a shit sandwich after all. And I was, in many instances, reaching the same conclusions about women as I had before. This spoke volumes.

So you can argue that it's all in your head, but really, if we are experiencing the same basic things over a range of mental & emotional states, then they must be real. The mind can't consistently fabricate sensory feedback. It's more likely that we are picking up on something real (like gravity). And if we didn't have this ability to perceive reality, we wouldn't have (successfully) evolved to where we are today. And we certainly wouldn't be able to walk around and drive in traffic without colliding into things.

That's part of the argument. But there's another equally important fact to consider.

Observe how women respond when men complain about the things women do. Women usually tell them that they have a bad attitude and they should fix themselves. Now, this isn't bad advice. BUT the problem is that you seldom hear women accept any blame, and admit that they need to fix themselves. This implies that all the so-called "improvement" must happen on the guys end. So, the problem isn't that men shouldn't work on improving themselves, but that women aren't as willing (in general) to do the same. And that goes a long way towards explaining why men are getting screwed over so much more than women. The politically correct culture of feminism discourages criticism of women's actions, and loves to blame men for failures between the sexes. And this imbalance creates a culture of impunity for women, where they are allowed to be reckless and irresponsible in their behavior, while men carry the burden of blame.

For example, you often see the dynamic in clubs, where the women are on the defensive and closed off to men approaching, and the men are trying to break through the bitch shields. And the common response to this is usually some sort of dating advice (for men) telling them how to up their "game" and learn how to get the girl anyway. But you hardly ever see any serious advice for the women, where they are told to make it easier for men to approach. So on the one hand you can blame the guy for not having the "game" to break through, but on the other hand why does she have the bitch shield to begin with? This lack of acknowledgement is an example of the culture of impunity where women's actions are concerned; and where men have to suck it up and learn to COPE.

But sooner or later, men are going to wise up to this. I mean, why spend hundreds or even thousands of dollars learning how to pick up from "dating gurus", when all the bitch has to do is smile and be approachable? Maybe she should be taking the fucking bootcamp instead!

For everything we strive to fix about ourselves, we should demand reciprocal effort from women. And until that starts happening in a big way, the situation will not improve.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

The Proof Is In The Prostitutes

Prostitutes prove that women can be just as casual about sex as men. They're completely cornered in this regard, there's no way they can deny it. In fact women can be even more casual about it, capable of having sex many times a day. And it will not be nearly as physically draining for them, for obvious biological reasons.

So many times you hear women say that a strictly sexual relationship is harmful for women because they get emotionally attached more easily. Well then, I guess prostitutes are very emotionally attached to all their clients. And yet, they do their job so well. Some do it for years, having a long list of regulars, and you never hear about them whining about feeling "used", or complaining that the men don't want to "commit" lol. Some of these women make hundreds of dollars an hour, and contrary to popular belief, a lot of them are very happy with their work. They are after all, making money doing what they love.

So knowing this, why is it hard to believe that women are fully capable of getting into "friends with benefits" relationships? This is exactly the same as what a prostitute does, minus the getting-paid part, while having sex with far fewer men.

So you figure, if there are lots of women prostituting themselves for cash (given the risks involved), there should be at least that many women willing to have no-strings sex for free (with much less risk). And the fact that there are so many women opposed to this type of arrangement is largely because they are opposed to giving it away for free. So in one way, shape or form, they will demand payment for it, either through dating and dinners, or a "relationship" which is code for lots and lots of attention. However, these things can be passed off as "romantic" and "chivalrous", but cold hard cash cannot. But there's really no difference, other than perception (i.e. one is wrapped in a pretty bow and the other is not).

But remember, women enjoy sex too, and on top of that they are getting the extra goodies. So you are essentially paying her twice. And she is only paying you once. And if those extra goodies come at great cost to you then there is a cancellation effect, and you are essentially getting nothing. This is something to ponder for all of you business types who are big on ROI (return on investment).

I remember when I was living in Toronto, I had lots of difficulty finding women who would have no-strings sex, but I couldn't figure out why at the time. So I started experimenting. And I found that, although I could easily tease apart the women who wanted a relationship from those who didn't, and the ones who were prudes from the ones who weren't, I could not easily separate the women in general from the payment paradigm. So many of them implicitly demanded some sort of payment for sex, like dinners, dates etc. That is the main pain in the ass with women in the city of Toronto, and it is one of the main reasons I left.

Another common belief is that with sex, it's just gotta happen, so you can't plan for sex. However... prostitutes plan for sex ALL THE TIME. Do they have some special gift? Are they rare women? Hell no. I could go out right now and find a woman and pay her for sex much more easily than I could get free casual sex. The reason I choose not to comes down to the reason I gave above. I would be paying her twice. And that just does not sit right with me.

But it makes you think though, all the resistance women put up when it comes to having sex, is often just a charade to get shit out of you. I mean, once a woman reaches a certain level of maturity (like 30+), there's no good reason why she should ever hold out on you. So it's either shit or get off the pot. It makes me think of how all this effort that goes into making a woman feel "just right", can be circumvented by just placing a $100 bill next to her, and then watch the resistance evaporate. How can any man in his right mind work hard to get sex while knowing this?

This should give you a hint that the women who already have money and are financially secure, are more likely to have no-strings sex. In addition, this tendency is most evident in women that are happily self-employed, as that provides the greatest financial security of all. My own experience with these women certainly verifies this claim.

So in many cases, the difficulty you're experiencing with a particular woman can be explained by answering two simple questions: Is she a have or have-not woman? And, why wouldn't a prostitute make things this difficult for you?

So you see, I love prostitutes for the single reason that they have exposed so many of the lies. The jig is up girls, and you have no one but your sisters to thank, the ones who went directly for the cash instead.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

The Attention Whore

The attention whore is a female who craves attention, usually male, because it affirms that she is sexy and desirable. This type of woman will usually surround herself with less attractive female friends because they boost her self-image. In turn, the less attractive female friends hang out with her for the same reason a dog might hang out under the dinner table, to get the tasty scraps it might not get from the regular dog food. So it's a mutually parasitic relationship.

These women will also surround themselves with guys who want to fuck her (but never will). We call these men orbiters, because like satellites, they are in constant motion but always maintain a certain distance, never getting any closer. These women are sometimes so pathetic they will even go so far as seek out the approval of those they don't like. So in other words, although she doesn't like you, she at least wants to know that you like her.

Attention whores are incredibly needy, and although some would say they have a high self-image due to their looks, their self-esteem is actually at dirt level. This is because their view of themselves is on very shaky ground. It doesn't take much to make them question their attractiveness, and they are constantly managing the "system" they have built, to ensure maximum return. This means constant text-messaging, constant uploading of new pictures on Facebook, constant adding of new friends on Facebook, constant flirting with their guy friends to keep them hopeful and maintain their orbiter status, constant clothes shopping, and constant lookout for new and better sources of validation.

Some guys have learned methods to exploit the vulnerability of these females by using their need for validation against them. One such method is The Mystery Method. In this method, you keep the girl in limbo between not knowing if you really like her or not. So, in her mind it's a simple yes/no question she wants answered. This means that you have a fine line to walk at all times, because the instant she finds out you really like her, it's game over. She excuses herself for "a minute" and then ditches you forever. This is one major reason why Mystery Method sucks. You can screw up at any time.

However, if you screen for girls that genuinely want to fuck you, you are not walking a fine line. The reason for this is because the desire to fuck is not a yes/no question. So, if a girl wants your cock she will only be satisfied when she actually gets it, and she's more likely to come back for more (as well as being better in bed). This is why it's so much better to screen for girls who want sex instead of girls who want validation, and who might give you sex in return (if you dangle the carrot skillfully enough).

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

I Have Only Met Women At Clubs And Online

I have rarely connected with a woman anywhere else, and I've done hundreds of approaches in various daytime venues. It's extremely unlikely in my experience to meet girls anywhere but at clubs and through dating websites. I pondered the reasons for this for a long time, and eventually it occurred to me why this is.

In this neck of the woods women are only open to meeting men in structured environments. Anything that falls outside the straight and narrow, women will AVOID. It's a very tribal mentality, and not to mention a cowardly and socially stale way of looking at the world. But where I'm living, it's the order of the day.

I know guys sometimes meet girls at various daytime settings, but after extensive research I know that for me personally I'm wasting my time with that approach. Instead, it's gotta be through friends or at clubs, or through dating websites which are there for the well-understood and socially accepted purpose of meeting other people. If you don't follow (constrain) yourself to this you won't connect with people here.

It seems to be the Canadian way, to follow rules and strict protocol, or at least the Ontarian way. God forbid you take a chance and do something different. I can't speak from the women's side and what it's like for them to meet men outside the usual realms, BUT as a guy who's done this for YEARS I can say that if there was a significant percentage of women open to this I would have met a significant number of them by now. But nope. Chicks here are timid and often narrow minded about where and how they make romantic connections.

It's just plain stupid.

You might be wondering, what happens when I make an attempt to talk to girls at some place like Chapters or as I'm passing alongside them on the sidewalk? Nothing. We exchange a few polite worlds and that's it. No problem there. They don't HAVE to talk to me. But the complaint is not about individual responses, but rather the collective herd mentality, which is guiding these women as a WHOLE towards avoiding meaningful and potentially very rewarding interactions with men in the not-so common of places. And for all those women that say they would love to meet a guy at the store but no one talks to them, well, where the hell were YOU when I was there? You were too busy and pre-occupied with whatever it is you were doing to bother, and you kept your responses deliberately short with a hint of coldness as if to send me a signal that I was infringing on your personal space. Well, fuck you! I didn't have to talk to you, and although I can't speak for absolutely all women I will say that 99% of you are all sheep doing the same damn thing. So for that special 1% that is worth the effort, I'm sorry, there's just too many of you that are not worth it for me to put serious effort into this any longer. I am forced to rely on clubs and online dating for the staple of my romantic connections, because you're mostly all too clueless to understand that there is a whole other world out there that has its doors wide open for you but you're too stupid to walk through them.

So put back on your earphones and resume texting your buddies in that catatonic avoiding-eye-contact-trance you call daily life. From now on, you gotta come to me or at least make it real fucking easy for me to engage you by way of open body language and a sexy style which basically screams "talk to me", otherwise my mouth stays shut. And believe me, I have a radar for this. It's just that so many times I've gone against what my instincts have told me when I felt that a woman wouldn't be receptive, figuring that if I feel this way so often it must be a limiting belief on my part. But nope, my instincts have been right all along. My radar is not broken. I just have to get used to the fact that so many of you are unreceptive cowardly sheep and my radar will almost always pick up nothing. But that's okay. I can walk by a hundred of you and pick up nothing and know that you would all be a waste of time. How can I be so arrogant you might ask? Because, unlike you, I have a huge database of reference experiences and I know who's worth it and who isn't.

So, for those few women who genuinely want to meet someone in the non-structured way, be prepared to put your best foot forward and learn to send out good signals, otherwise we will be like two ships passing in the night. Furthermore, it won't be enough to just have the desire. Your actions have to speak loudly and clearly. So if you really do want to meet me but are too scared to show it, you will be no better than the girl that doesn't show interest because she's not interested. So you will have played your chance badly. Too bad for you. From now on I only screen for confident sexy women who aren't AFRAID to show interest. I already do this in clubs and online, but now I'm extending this to daytime venues.

But realistically, I have no great expectations in this regard. I know I will not encounter such confident women often. Why? Because the very fact that so many of you refuse to connect with a handsome and friendly stranger outside your comfort zone, on his initiative, means that you will be equally averse to taking the initiative yourself.

But at the same time, I don't need many women. Just one or two, maybe three really great ones. And I know you are out there.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Women Are Very Prone To Prejudice

Something I've become increasingly aware of is that women will put their blinders on when evaluating situations. They'll often adopt a stance where they'll make broad sweeping generalizations.

Female pride is an amazing thing. In some ways it's worse than male ego, since a man is at least able to come to grips with the facts and adopt a scientific approach to get to the bottom of things (although it can take a very long time for some). But with women, the problem is a general LACK of this fact-collecting ability, since their powers of abstracting information from things that are not directly in front of them is surprisingly weak. Weeks ago I ran into this woman at the bar whom I met years before. We got on nicely. She tried to pick me up but I declined, since she was not quite as attractive as before. But anyways, one of the first things she did was dismiss virtually all the guys in the bar, calling them "too stiff" or something like that. And she had just walked in five minutes before. Now, granted she had been in that place before but there's no way she could make that conclusion based on just looking around. And this woman at least does talk to guys. Many others will take this prejudice all the way and literally block all attempts to meet men somewhere just because of where that "somewhere" is. It's total loser behaviour.

So anyway, this woman I had met years before at another club, which in my opinion is much better to meet people than the place we were at that night. And it's because of the herd mentality of the women. The other bar is more fun so the women are more fun. But rather than make that connection she instead dismissed all the guys in the bar, which would have included me as well had I not met her before at the other bar. So using this woman's argument, if I'm at club "X" I'm a dud, but if I'm at club "Y" I'm cool. But I'm the same fucking person lol.

Just goes to show you how stupid some (a lot) of women are when it comes to making informed decisions about things that require a modicum of research and finding things out for yourself first hand. This is the main reason why most women can't hack it as managers. They usually don't have the mental faculty to evaluate those things which are remote and not directly in front of their noses. So to compensate they will involve prejudice in their decision-making. Women are generally best at evaluating those things that are right in front of them, like being able to tell if you're having a bad day based on your facial expression. Those things they are good at. Women's intuition, as much as it is touted is surprisingly nearsighted. But try making women see the errors of their ways and you got a serious fight on your hands. It's like a dog that won't let go of a steak.

You see the same thing in online dating. Women get a few bad responses and they immediately assume the whole online dating situation sucks. Or they go in skeptical and they never meet anyone because they are skeptical. Could it be that some of the guys online are the same guys they could meet through friends, or in any situation they are naturally comfortable with? Scores of women NEVER meet anyone online despite getting HUNDREDS of messages. These men can't ALL be duds, so the problem is with the women. Most of the time they assume shit which just isn't true, and it's because of their weak ability to see far ahead - that, and their almost ritualistic way of falsely categorizing things based on ONE or TWO things, like judging men by ONLY their shoes or hairstyle. Sure it's simple, but it does leave one challenged in the truth department.

The moral is, never let a woman categorize you because chances are she'll assume things about you that just aren't true, and she'll do it based on knowing very little about you. But if she does, then condescend her and talk down to her. It is absolutely not true that women have a superior sense of awareness and can make accurate judgment calls based on shreds of data. You'll sometimes see this in dating books that say women are very astute with superior powers of observation when it comes to making snap decisions about someone. Don't buy into that. It's garbage written by smug women with a false sense of intelligence, and manginas who want to score points.

Sometimes the only way to get through to people is to smack them over the head with the truth. And with women the only way they will ever learn is by men raising the price they have put on themselves where women are concerned. So, anything a woman does to increase the difficulty level in meeting her is one more reason not to talk to her. Why do you think many fat girls are so easy to talk to? The reason is because guys won't bother with them unless they make it EASY to get to know them. Now, just extend this to the attractive girls and you're set.