Sunday, June 21, 2009

The Politically Correct Culture of Toronto

The politically correct culture of Toronto means that every minority & formerly oppressed group is catered to. This is done to avoid accusations of discrimination. It's a form of hypersensitivity, erring on the side of paranoia by going too far to the other side of the spectrum. The main reason Toronto is difficult for dating is because it's so darn politically correct, and extreme feminism is strongest in a politically correct environment. This means that there is more man-hating, more male-bashing, more animosity towards men (and vice-versa, as a consequence), more victim mentality (by women), and more exaggeration of men's flaws (while ignoring the positives). Ironically, in the Canadian spirit of "being friendly" and accommodating Canada fosters some of the least friendly attitudes, and one of the epicenters for this is Toronto.


Dennis said...

It's very interesting that you say these things about Toronto because I've been considering moving to there for 7 or 8 years now. I had a girlfriend up there that was from Trinidad and Tobago and I'd go out and I'd get good responses from the women up there. I've been to Toronto 4 times. Guys from Toronto that have been here say that Chicago girls are nicer. At the time I thought they were nuts.

Anyhow, I'm 31 years old and I've been in the game for 3 years now. I've read nearly all of the posts on your blogs and I've found them highly interesting because I can totally relate to your expenciences, as I've been through some of the same shit! The flakiness, the frustration and anger, the high and lows, the emotional attachments, all of it.

You have a better vantage point in Toronto because you live there, but here in Chicago it's pretty much the same fucking thing. Girls in the suburbs are generally more easygoing and most are willing to at least engage you, but in the city, some of the girls are hard nuts to crack. It's like there's less openness with the women there. I sense the reason is that they sense that you WANT something from them, so they shut you down before you even get started. This is why building a social network is key, because with cold approaches, in the woman's mind, you have no credibility - she doesn't know who you are or where you're coming from.

I've had a sales job for a year now, and one thing I've picked up is that to not be MEEK when greeting people. Projecting my voice and being unapologetic about communicating with someone really helps.

I've read damn near every author and pickup-related material under the sun, because I love to read and expand my mind, but right now I'm just fucking tired of pursuing. The pussy is just not even worth it if I have to work for it, I don't care how good the girl looks. I've been following Brent Smith's philosophy for a while now, and I've also been getting into more spiritual stuff for the last year or so, and I'm discovering that you are what you attract. If you want high quality, you have to BE high quality. Everybody has a frequency, and you're going to attract those people who are on that same freqency, hence the bullshit girls generally staying away from you.

I do affirmations daily to help my energy and mindset, I go out almost every weekend, and my results are consistent now that I'm less attached to outcomes. I go out, and I strike up conversations with guys and any girls that may be nearby. It's becoming easier with less work. I'm also learning that just because a girl looks good doesn't mean that she's interesting or that the sex is going to be any good, or that just because a girl looks at me, doesn't mean that she wants to fuck me. No one can make us happy, and you can't seek someone to "complete" you. You have to be complete yourself, or else your dating life will be endlessly frustrating and unfulfilling!

Anyhow, we should chat more often. I like your writing style.

Vittorio said...

Hey Dennis, I'm actually not living in Toronto anymore. But I spent quite a bit of time there and one thing I found is that the grass is not always greener. Before moving to Toronto a few years ago I had the perception that it was better than where I was at the time. Boy was I wrong. Although the initial encounters were often times pleasant enough, it was when a certain threshold of time passed that I saw what the problems were. Think of it as delayed red flags! lol

So fast forward, and now I'm living back where I was before and I enjoy it more. It's not too big of a city. The people are friendlier and it's easier to make connections. But it is far from perfect though. Just like anything. But it's good to gain perspective. And it sure as heck busted the myth, that all places are created equal. Places might be similar but certainly not the same.

I agree that social networks are useful. Matter of fact, I'm slowly rebuilding my social network here. It starts just with chatting with people when you're out, both men and women.

One thing I found that's critically important is, as you said, letting go of attachment to outcome. And actually it was Brent Smith's philosophy that got me started on this process of "inner healing" - which actually has a lot in common with eastern philosophy (buddhism). Not that I am into buddhism in a hardcore sense but I find the mindset adds an important dimension to my thinking - the ability to be happy regardless and the ability to bounce back quickly from a bad experience.

The other thing I realized was, just because I get my shit together does not mean that every girl I meet is going to result in something good happening. All it means is that you will maximize your own potential for meeting other people who themselves have their shit together. I still can't connect with problem girls (if I wanted to) despite all the personal progress I've made over the years. But these are just bumps in the road; you just keep going and eventually meet people who are worth your time. And like you said, infusing yourself with a positive mindset before going out and socializing is a great thing. It's all about maximizing your potential for the right people.

Pussy is not really that valuable when you get right down to it. Some men spend so much effort getting it but IMO that's an unsustainable system. You have to work so hard to get something and then keep working hard to keep getting it. And what you get is so fleeting, like a drug addiction - you're never free of it. Honestly, if getting laid has to be an uncomfortable experience then I don't want it, because in the end what you get is not worth what you have to put up with to get it. Unlike how the usual saying goes, there has to be little or no pain for maximum gain.

Sure, we can chat more. If you want you can send me an email. I'll check out your blog.