Tuesday, June 2, 2009

How To Deal With Women Who Want To Take Charge

The best thing to do is avoid juvenile posturing where you're both trying to get the upper hand, while exercising the option of ending the date early.

If you allow such a woman to take charge she may later express disappointment that you let her do that. Warning, this is a sign of a conflicted woman. On the one hand she wants to be in charge (feminist programming), but on the other hand she wants you to be a man in control (biological desire). So basically she is putting the blame on you for doing what she wants, and not doing what she wants.

But at the same time you should not be rigid and dogmatically resist her taking the lead in all instances. Just remember that you can pull the plug at any time. So out of fairness, just see where it goes. It makes more sense to be open to going along with her plans (assuming they are reasonable) if she is so determined to take the lead. But personally I would only go along with them to avoid juvenile posturing, if nothing else, and with the option of ending the date early if she goes too far. If she is too dominant (or controlling) then I wouldn't want to see her again. Of course, you will have to decide for yourself what those boundaries are and what constitutes her "going too far".

Dominance and submission (leading and being led) is not something that should be fought for in a healthy relationship. It should be based on a choice that both parties make as to which role each will take on, and in what proportion. Otherwise it just becomes a ridiculous battle for the upper hand. Childish.

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