Sunday, June 21, 2009

The Politically Correct Culture of Toronto

The politically correct culture of Toronto means that every minority & formerly oppressed group is catered to. This is done to avoid accusations of discrimination. It's a form of hypersensitivity, erring on the side of paranoia by going too far to the other side of the spectrum. The main reason Toronto is difficult for dating is because it's so darn politically correct, and extreme feminism is strongest in a politically correct environment. This means that there is more man-hating, more male-bashing, more animosity towards men (and vice-versa, as a consequence), more victim mentality (by women), and more exaggeration of men's flaws (while ignoring the positives). Ironically, in the Canadian spirit of "being friendly" and accommodating Canada fosters some of the least friendly attitudes, and one of the epicenters for this is Toronto.

Don't Fall For The Famous Line

As activism among men continues to increase it is inevitable that some women (and manginas) will try to discourage us by saying things like:

Keep on keeping on boys with this notion of "taking the power back"...I hope you enjoy jerking off.

My response:

Actually, looking back at some of my experiences, the payoff just wasn't there, so jerking off would definitely have been the better option. And it's a good thing men have this backup system for biological reasons. So as long as you have a functioning right (or left) hand women should have no power over you LOL.

But enough humor, men are starting to take the power back, or at least their balance of the power. So trying to discourage them using the "jerking off" angle is not going to work indefinitely. Eventually, it's going to be like a button that stops working when pressed, so you keep pressing and pressing hoping for something to happen, but nothing does. That day will come.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

The Moral Pedestal Lie

This is my response (in bold) to a woman's post on Toronto Craigslist:

For most healthy women, sex is not a favour. We want it just as much as men do. For most of us with a healthy libido, daily would do quite nicely (except for 'that time of the month'... icky!). While men have generally been taught over the years to sow their wild oats as often as they can and with as many women as possible before settling down, women have been taught that frequent sex equals slut material. Therefore (and I have been guilty of this too), we tend to hold out until the relationship is established.

So here you admit that you hold out until a "relationship" is established, because that is what women have been taught to do.

And then you say:

No, I will never sleep with someone on a first date or a second and possibly a third, but if you get past the first date, that means there's hope for us both.

which sounds like your own decision based on your own insights. But in reality you're just following social protocol. If women were taught that it's okay to have sex right away then you would be okay with it, right?

All I'm saying is that women like you give the impression that "holding out" is an individual choice (moral pedestal) rather than just admit that you have cowed under the social pressure (which is what is actually happening).

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Is Sex A Favor From Women?

My response to a woman's post on Toronto Craigslist will answer this question. The title of her post is "1 womans tips to get laid". My response is in bold.

Do NOT dart your pointy tongue in and out of my mouth like your trying to skewer something in there

Ok, that's fair

Do NOT slobber all over me. A luscious kiss is good. Feeling like your being kissed by a Saint Bernard is not

Fair enough

Do NOT open your mouth wide enough to eat my chin. I dont have a flip top head like a cartoon character

Fair enough

Do NOT grind your chin into mine. I get that you want me. I want you too I also want some skin remaining on my chin at the end of the date

Fair enough

DO check your breath

Fair enough

DO kiss gently at first

It depends on the circumstances. The heat of the moment does not always entail being "gentle"

Do NOT suggest any of the following if we still have our clothes on. Sex, oral sex, anal sex, taking a shower together or anything that would assume we're both completely naked

I disagree. There has to be some way of knowing where you stand. Much better to introduce the possibility of sex ASAP than to take the "safe" route and hope things just magically happen. It's called screening.

Do NOT use your teeth on my clit

Fair enough (ouch)

DO know how to take off my bra. Fumbling around until I have to do it for you makes me feel like im back in high school. Its not hot

Fair enough

Do NOT push my head towards your crotch as if to initiate your BJ. Its very "counterproductive" and my 'counterpunch' will leave you with sore balls

Yeah, I can see how that would be annoying. But if you allow the guy to take charge by taking off your bra, he may not know that pushing your head down to his crotch is unacceptable. I'm just saying

Do NOT assume that because I gave you head that I will give you head

WTF! That makes no sense!

Remember ..Sex is a favor from us to you
If you can follow these rules, I hope to run into you some day

This is false thinking. But let's just assume for the sake of argument that sex is a favor from one person to the other. And let's reasonably assume that the favor is pleasure.

If men are the ones receiving this favor, then why do women enjoy sex more than men? Women have longer, more intense, more pleasurable, and MULTIPLE orgasms, while men are usually done in a few minutes, and furthermore we need some time to "recharge" before the next session. In short, we don't get as much out of sex as women do.

So it seems to me that based on the pleasure principle alone, women are getting more out of the deal than men. In other words, men are doing women the favor, for the most part.

So not only is it false thinking to assume that sex=favor, but even if it were the correct way of looking at it, it is actually men "bestowing" the bulk of the favor upon women.

However, I personally feel an alternate point of view is best: Sex is something to be shared and enjoyed mutually.

I dont think women considering sex as a favour to men as "false "thinking

It is a favour really
While we may enjoy sex equally or even more as you pointed out
We dont care about recieving it nearly as much
You dont see us chasing men for sex ,or decietfully playing them to get it all the time
How much sexual porn do we download??/

Its a favour

The only reason that men act needy and chase after sex much more than women, is because women happen to be on the "winning" side of a system that has become unfairly rigged against men. The reasons for this are numerous, but basically the "pendulum" of social balance has gone too far in one direction in favor of women. This is common in a society that is too politically correct, such as Toronto.

As a result of this over-swung pendulum, women like you mistakenly believe your pussy has great value. But you know what, every chick has one and more is being born every minute. Eventually, men will wake up to that fact, and myths like "scarcity", sex=favor, and all other BS will be dispelled.

It's like the thieves in the finance world getting richer due to the bogus value of the market bubble. But eventually it collapses because there was nothing there to begin with.

Your inflated market value will crash eventually, and you'll come down to our level.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Indie Girl

I'm surprised my comment was posted given its "non-vanilla" sounding nature. I left a comment on one of Indie Girl's posts in which she describes one of her dating experiences. Her name is Sarah Rowland. She is 37 years old and is crossing the country in search of "Mr. Right". Here is the link:

In your words, maybe lack of "immediate connection" is actually a lack of something else. I chuckle every time I hear women say there was a lack of chemistry or whatever. So many times it points to a shortcoming in the women, such as having too high expectations, glass always empty (and the guy has to fill it up), or something which is totally nonsensical such as having the mind and heart, but not the body and soul. lol wow.

And then there's that "magical" connection you experienced once with Soca warrior and won't settle until you experience it again. You know what that sounds like? A drug. Gotta get that high back. And even if the exact conditions somehow repeat themselves with someone else, it won't feel the same anyway because the novelty feeling is no longer there. So on to the next prospect...

Honestly, with all the time women spend in front of a mirror many are surprisingly lacking in introspection.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Sex For Payment

I recently had the privilege of responding to a post a woman made on Toronto Craigslist:

She said: If you can't afford to be a decent person, then don't ask ladies out for dinner.

I said: So your assumption is that unless a guy asks a woman out to dinner he's not a decent person. Well I guess I'm a rotten person because I've never asked women out to dinner that I just met. Nice logic you have there.

She said:Tell them straight out that you just want sex for the price of a coffee. I am sure that 1 out of every 1000 or so will say yes.

I said: This is a classic example of Toronto woman thinking, the inability to separate sex from the "payment" paradigm. This is the core problem with women in the city. You can tease apart the group of women who want a relationship from the ones who don't. You can tease apart the group of women who are prudes from the ones who aren't. But you'll be hard pressed to separate the women who want sex from the ones who want some sort of "payment" for it.

It's prostitution disguised as morality and "respecting yourself". But actually, prostitutes are more honest because cash cannot be passed off as anything but cash. But dinners, nights out on the town, etc. THAT can be used to hustle unsuspecting men using the morality, tradition, chivalry, bullshit card. But men are wising up, even if it seems to be at a snail's pace at times.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Good Looks Don't Help That Much

If a woman has issues, good looks won't help you, and since many women have issues, good looking guys are going to encounter the same problems as every other guy; problems such as uptightness, coldness, etc. The difference is that the problems might come out a bit later. So after she spends the first few minutes admiring your looks, you start running into the same problems other guys do. Also, some issues are compounded if you are good looking; such as girls thinking you can get anyone you want, so you don't need them, therefore they take it upon themselves to reject you first. Or, they are going to be the one girl you can't have (as if to make a political statement). So if every girl thinks like this, guess what, you never hook up. But women seem blind to this fact. The truth is that women act very collectively (more so than men) despite their individual insistence that they are different from other girls. This false sense of individuality can be used to fool women in large numbers, as some players do.

As a good looking guy, I personally never hook up with girls that think I get all the girls, and make a big deal out of it. I only hook up with girls that don't care who else I hook up with.

Learned Weakness

I was talking to a guy at the bar last weekend. He sees this attractive blonde and tells me jokingly, that he can't afford her. I laugh with him and tell him he should work within his means. But joking aside, this is a common mindset men have, feeling like women (especially attractive ones) are better than them. Even guys who spend lots of money to learn specialized pickup and seduction techniques, are coming from the same mindset, otherwise why assume you have to elevate yourself to reach their level. It's better to just assume women are at your level (or lower), for the simple reason that they are.

The other problem with learning pickup and seduction is that it's not reciprocal. Last time I checked women weren't learning ways to pick ME up, so why is it my job as a man to learn how to get her? Why should I learn to navigate through HER obstacle course? Isn't it her job to try and remove those obstacles, and vice-versa? Shouldn't we be working together?

Every time a woman acts a certain way, which makes things difficult for you, why should you find a way to overcome that? Why doesn't she simply be LESS difficult? Aren't you encouraging women to continue with their difficult behaviour by learning coping techniques? If someone is a slob and makes a mess, is it my job to learn how to clean it up quickly and efficiently just so I can improve the synergy between us? Why is it assumed that the man has to put up with shitty treatment else he be accused of being less of a man? This pathological thinking comes from the puritanical (protestant) work ethic, where it is assumed that nothing of value is obtained without suffering and hard work (no pain, no gain). It's the same reason people endure crappy jobs, because they think it makes them better people, as opposed to miserable automatons dedicated to a life of corporate slavery.

Snap out of it.

The Female Slut Defense

This is the reflexive fear of peer disapproval women have for appearing "too easy". Given that this society in many ways still carries outdated puritan beliefs when it comes to sex (especially regarding female sexuality), the result is the "slut defense". This is basically a schizophrenic conflict, where some women want sex but don't want it (for fear of being labeled a slut). This forces them to look for ways to get laid without feeling slutty. Some will use the "I was drunk" excuse whenever possible, while others will demand relationships, or even marriage, to justify having sex. This can present a mirror problem for men where they are forced to look for ways to get laid without making the girl feel like a slut. This of course means that men will develop a schizophrenic conflict of their own, where they have to balance their desire for sex with the desire to not be obvious about it. Unfortunately, there is no real way to have sex and not own up to it to a degree.

For this reason, it makes no sense to hide behind juvenile displays of "innocence" when it doesn't reflect your true intentions. In fact, this form of plausible deniability regarding sex is so common nowadays that it can hardly be taken seriously as legitimate deniability anyway. "Oh sure, you really were too drunk and it just happened, just like last week and the week before... riiiiight". So throwing out the habitual (token) "slut defense" objection, like "we're not having sex" is so ridiculous and outdated it's like some old superstition that was discredited long ago (but will still be used by some out of habit). For some women it's probably an artifact of their younger days when they were less mature and said those things all the time.

But really, it means nothing, and this is why I say that, as a man, you should not let yourself be buffaloed by women's token objections to sex, assuming they actually are token objections. In fact, don't even care about it at all, for the simple reason that there's no way someone can have sex and not be responsible for it. So silly statements like "we're not having sex" should be addressed as soon as they come up. "Oh yes we are" with a smirk, would be a good response, and it tests her to see if she really means it. If she doesn't, she will happily go along. But if she really means it then she will make a stand, and you will know that the most you will probably get is a sloppy makeout and maybe some tit sucking. So you can decide then and there if you want to go through with it or not. This might take some experience to recognize, but you will know that sometimes token resistance is actual resistance (i.e. she won't fuck, period). So if you agree with her when she says, "we won't have sex" thinking she might not mean it, you are taking a chance that she actually does. And she might tell you "I told you so" later on (while you have blue balls).

Trying to go under the radar only delays the onset of responsibility, but doesn't avoid it. So if she can't take responsibility now, she can't take responsibility later. This is why I say that trying to accommodate her slut defense by downplaying the possibility of sex is generally useless. Sure, she might be attracted and genuinely want to have sex with you, but if she can't overcome her slut defense on her own, you're no better off than if she had refused to fuck because she was not attracted. So test her early if she brings up any objection, or else you might be wasting your time. Testing her forces her out of high school territory and into the adult world.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Social Proof

This is a term sometimes used to describe how popular someone is, either with men, women, or both. The idea is that when you are seen interacting in a positive way with other people, it boosts your attractiveness. This is true. When you see someone socializing with others, it makes them more approachable. This is especially true in a bar and club environment where most people (women) have their guard up. If a woman sees a guy socializing with others and having a good time it makes him appear more fun and easy-going, and also "safer" (which is pretty important for women). So it will be easier to meet him.

In particular, if a man is seen interacting with different women this can get other women's attention. Women are catty this way. Understand that a woman may find you attractive without social proof, but only when she sees other women talking to you will she act on that attraction. In other words, she will be motivated to take action lest she lose you to someone else. So if you get a woman sitting on the fence and acting indecisive where you are concerned, start talking to other women. Chances are that will compel her to take action (one way or the other).

The Cockblocker

In club environments, the cockblocker, also known as the protective "mother hen" is the one who interrupts romance before it ever materializes. She usually does this by taking her girlfriends under her wing to confer with them in the universal meeting room known as "the washroom". It seems that in clubs, women make all their major decisions in the washroom, usually following a cockblocking episode.

Cockblocking happens most often when you are showing strong interest in a girl, but can also happen (less often) if she shows interest in you. Her friend takes her by the hand for an "emergency meeting" in the washroom, and off they go. Sometimes it's to discuss logistics (if she plans on going home with you). Other times, she will never return, meaning they voted against you -- not necessarily in a democratic way either -- her friend probably convinced her not to go through with it. However, this means that the target female was not capable of making her own decisions, so she is probably not someone fun to be with anyway. So in a way it's a filtering mechanism for the strong women who do what they want even in the face of their friend's disapproval.

The way to deal with cockblocks in general is to avoid situations that give rise to them, meaning don't hit on girls, just talk to them, be chilled out and relaxed, and let them come to you. Doing it this way cockblocks become much less frequent.

Being Yourself

The age-old puzzle: Women tell men to "be yourself" and when guys are themselves they don't get women. What the hell is going on? Well, women aren't lying when they are telling you this, but they aren't telling you the whole truth either. Being yourself only works if you are not acting in ways which make you look like you're not being yourself. Read that again if you have to. What this means is that a lot of the learned behaviour men display around women, such as unnecessary compliments, buying dinner, bragging, etc is not a reflection of who they really are. Men go through this as a matter of formality, or ritual in hopes that it will get them somewhere. Needless to say, women can usually tell that you are not coming from an authentic place when you are doing these things. In other words, they can tell you are not being yourself. So when they say be yourself they are generally saying, don't pay them unnecessary compliments, buy them dinner, brag, or buy their affection. If you do this, it's the wrong kind of being yourself. That's not to say there aren't dinner whores who want to be wined and dined. There are, quite a few. But we don't care about them. We only care about the women who genuinely want men to be honest and upfront and not act like something they are not in order to impress them.

The difficulty is that many men think they actually are being themselves when they are going through the traditional dating ritual, and doing what they've been taught to do where women are concerned. So it's understandable that they feel as if they are being lied to when told to "be themselves". Well hopefully you now understand what's going on.

Admittedly, some men won't know how to act around women if they are not doing the usual things like paying compliments, buying dinner etc. It's as if they are left empty handed and have nothing to work with. So what the heck are they going to do on a date? The first thing to do is get out of the dating mindset. Go on a non-date instead; meet for drinks, keep the conversation light. Act like you would act with a guy friend. This is not a typo. When you're with a woman simply treat her like a buddy. Chances are that when you're with your buddies you are generally being yourself anyway, since you're not trying to impress them, meaning you're generally relaxed about the situation. This is the mindset you want with women. The only thing you do extra which you (obviously) don't do with your guy friends is you throw in some occasional flirting, and you (maybe) have sex with her. So for example, you chat, talk about current events, sports, throw in a flirtatious/sexual comment, maybe feel her up a bit too, and then go back to normal conversation. And then maybe go back to your place (or hers) and fuck.

Here's the basic formula for being yourself around women:

Being yourself around women = (hang out somewhere inexpensive and low-key) + (conversations you would have with your guy friends) + (occasional flirting) + (sex)

That's it. It's pretty simple. But it will be hard to follow at first as you start undoing the bad programming you've been taught. You will naturally have a tendency to revert back to your old behaviour, especially in times of uncertainty and stress. So just hang in there and eventually the new and improved system will be internalized.

Game Is Unattractive

If "game" works it's because you did it in a way that appears natural and looks like you didn't use game. But what's the point of that? It's much better to actually BE natural, which comes from being comfortable with who you are regardless of what anyone thinks. Furthermore, game implies you aren't being yourself and your attractiveness is artificially created. It's something that was rehearsed like an actor reciting lines. This is a turn off for women.

The Psychology Of The Hottest Girls

Key understanding: Makeup and attitude go together.

Have a good look at what you consider to be the hottest girls. Chances are they are wearing lots of makeup, and sexy clothes. Hot girls are pretty girls with lots of makeup, period. It's an artificial (enhanced) attractiveness, which usually means an artificial sense of self-worth. No woman is going to spend lots of time, effort and money looking good and not have an inflated sense of entitlement in how she is treated. The only reason she does it IS to get better treatment (usually by men). Of course, spending some time looking good is normal, but when it's overdone you get a narcissist.

A lot of the techniques (game) that some guys use to get the "hottest girls" is geared towards dealing with these women's narcissism and manipulating their insecurities (such as The Mystery Method). And it's funny; these women are often regarded as having "superior genes" because they look better than most other women (who don't spend as much time and effort on makeup and clothes). So the implication is that the techniques work because they are based on evolutionary psychology; meaning it's the natural order of things, as opposed to: These techniques work because they break down a woman's sense of self worth, which she worked so hard to build up by way of cosmetics. The evolutionary psychology argument is flawed, and is largely a result of men thinking with their smaller head.

Women like these aren't even that great in bed, usually. The reason is that they never cultivated their sexual skills. All their efforts went into the front end; making the "product" look good, as opposed to actually being good. Furthermore, these women are usually mentally vacuous, since they never cultivated their intelligence either. Everything they've gotten (from men usually) is because of their looks. And with critical feedback missing, the result is a trophy girlfriend and starfish fuck.

Learning to get women like these is a descent into mind-numbing hell, with little reward.

It's natural for men to feel attraction towards these women since attraction is biologically based, and it isn't a choice. But action IS a choice. So don't put these women on pedestals knowing that they aren't all they're cracked up to be. You're chasing an illusion if you do. It's better to spend time on the pretty girl who doesn't put as much effort into looking good, and who might have a better attitude (as well as being better in bed).

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Does Social Status Make You More Attractive?

It can help, but it's not the essential "ingredient" in what makes a man attractive.

What makes a man attractive are basically his mannerisms, the way he talks, and the way he looks. And if he has social status as well that's just a bonus. But in terms of what makes a woman want to fuck a man, social status is not the key requirement.

In general, an effeminate man with high social status will be less attractive than a burly construction worker with low social status.

Just the fact that you are a man (period) means many women will naturally want to fuck you. This assumes of course you take care of yourself, are relaxed and confident in yourself, and aren't grossly out of shape. And this also assumes you aren't a feminized modern representation of a man, such as a metrosexual.

It's pretty simple. It's in your genes to be attractive. What messes things up are the artificial requirements (e.g. laundry list) people create when looking for significant others. People are not meant to be super-picky. It's self-defeating to be this way since we are going beyond what we want naturally and what we are naturally capable of giving to others.

Women who seek men with social status are in some ways prostituting themselves in exchange for social goodies. These men aren't necessarily the most attractive, but then neither are the men a hooker will fuck for cash. But it is nice if these men are attractive to begin with, since that makes the situation more tolerable.

However, social status can be a "cue" that maybe the guy has some masculine traits worth checking out, and it can open doors the same way great looks can open doors, but it's not necessarily the end-all and be-all. How many times have you heard a woman say that she was really hot for a good looking guy (or CEO) until he opened his mouth?

For men it's not that different. We are naturally attracted to women who have youthful and fit bodies. This means men are willing to have sex with most any woman who takes care of herself and has a great figure. Whether or not a woman has social status won't factor into this decision because, quite frankly, men don't care. In a primitive sense, men are more self-reliant than women, so it's not that important for us to acquire social "leverage" for survival purposes. It's not in our DNA to care about that sort of thing, since it doesn't contribute to our ability to survive.

But a woman's sexual decisions can in part be based on how they will affect her social status, and it won't necessarily have anything to do with genuine sexual desire, just a conscious interest in improving her chances of survival, using whatever bargaining tools she has at her disposal. This isn't necessary these days though, since we are no longer living in a patriarchy (especially in western societies). We are living in an egalitarian society, where sexual choices are less constrained. This basically means women are free to fuck whoever they want without having to wonder, "what do I get out of it?" (unless they are prostitutes of course).

The Laundry List Of Requirements

Why do some women have a "laundry list" of requirements when it comes to meeting a man?

It has to do with too much exposure to daytime TV and romanticized ideals. It's based on the delusional belief that you truly can have it all. And the result is a list that just keeps on growing.

Women are always touting the importance of not settling and having everything they want. But are they coming from a rational position? To answer this, consider some perspective. Why don't these women have the same stringent requirements for their friends? No one has ever heard of a woman having a laundry list of requirements when it comes to making new friends. So why is it necessary for the men in her life (who fill the role of romantic partner) to satisfy these requirements?

It's selective projection.

Some women go through life collecting "unmet needs" and adding them to the mix of requirements they expect from "the one". That's why they call it "the one" because supposedly HE can provide it all. It's a form of projection of what one cannot find themselves, or inside themselves, onto another party (the man). And he becomes the Supercenter for everything she needs. It's a tall order.

These women have bought into the fairy tale notion of the perfect man, who should be able to give them everything they want, such as emotions, sparks, lust, chemistry, and other superlatives, in addition to satisfying xyz requirements in how he looks and acts.

It's as if they have projected everything they have ever wanted onto this so-called perfect man. So they spend their lives looking, and looking... for something that doesn't exist.

Again, it's projection, and is a result of the politically correct universe created by feminists that discourages criticism of women, and tries to shift responsibility to the man whenever possible. And it just so happens that this mindset aligns well with the fairly tale notion of "the prince" which women tend to embrace anyway. And if this goes unchecked, you can get a woman with lots of cats, maybe one for each unmet need.

The politically correct message to women is essentially "It's okay to have all these hangups and unrealistic expectations dear, because one day the right guy will come along and take care of you".

A better message would be "Honey, you need to fix yourself first, and shorten that goddam list!"

These women will be hard-pressed to accept they are wasting their time and life in this fruitless pursuit. It can be seen as blasphemous to some telling them this. But there's nothing like the truth and no one should have to hide from it. Even children have to discover eventually that Santa Claus doesn't exist.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Some Women Have Sex To Gain Social Status

Attraction isn't the only reason women will have sex with someone. Some women will have sex with a man if it will give their social status a boost. So in this sense we have a form of prostitution, where sex is exchanged for social status instead of money.

If you don't agree with this, ask yourself why groupies would want to hook up with rock stars. It's unlikely these are the only men they find attractive. Chances are these women encounter attractive men all day long, so why would they go out of their way to have sex with someone just on the basis of attractiveness. The answer is, they wouldn't. They do it to gain social status. They want to be able to say (most likely to their friends) that they were with someone famous. And of course it helps if that famous person is attractive too; it makes it easier.

By the way, this sort of behaviour is sometimes observed in primates as well. The females will mate most frequently with the highest-ranking male. But as soon as another male takes his place the females will flock to him instead. It's not that the (former) top-male suddenly became less attractive. It's that another male took his place, and now he becomes the go-to guy for social goodies.

Therefore, high-status men aren't necessarily the most attractive. It is their social rank that "attracts" those females willing to prostitute themselves in exchange for social status, even if it's only fifteen minutes of fame -- the time it takes for a quickie.

The social circuitry of females naturally seeks out higher-ranking males to gain social privileges, in exchange for sex, since that's a currency males usually accept. It's based on a self-preservation instinct, since women are the weaker sex. But if taken too far it's a sign of emotional immaturity and validation-seeking behaviour, which can be easy to manipulate if one desires. Simply structure a scenario where she feels desirable and then jerk that away from her, and watch her work to get back in your good graces (such as in the bedroom). I personally wouldn't do this, but some guys do.

Dating Is Like Shopping

For many women, dating is a fun social activity, like shopping. It's a way for them to get out of the house and (maybe) connect with someone.

Unfortunately, men don't generally see dating as a fun social activity. They see it as a necessary evil they have to put up with to have a chance with women. This is what they have been taught.

When men date, they are generally going out of their way. When women date, they are generally doing something they enjoy anyway.

But here's the problem. Dating has very little connection to intimacy. And since intimacy is most men's goal, dating is one of the least effective ways to achieve it.

As a crude analogy, it's like taking a woman shopping hoping it turns on some sex shit in her head. That just doesn't work. It's the wrong filter for sex. And men hate shopping anyway!

Here's another analogy, dating and sex are like two parallel lines that will almost never intersect.

Dating is a waste of time for all those men who don't like to date but would still like to enjoy some fine ladies company under the sheets.

The problem is that in a city like Toronto (or any city), there are tons of options when it comes to dating. There is lot's in the way of fine dining, theatre, and so on. So it's very tempting to get caught up in the gravitational pull that is dating. And naturally, women being the creatures that they are, want to have a "taste" of all that. Not surprising, big cities have more dating-whores than smaller towns, which have less dating options.

But it's a sucker's game. Dating is the casino and men are the suckers who think they'll get "lucky".

But there is a solution. You don't have to do any of it! You can just meet for inexpensive drinks at some cozy bar, and get to know each other that way. Or you can use the accelerated program, and invite the girl directly to your place. If you already met her you can do this instead of go on a date. It lets you know very quickly where things stand. I can't even begin to describe how effective this strategy is. It does so many great things. It avoids the dating-whores. It avoids the women who aren't interested in you sexually. It gets to the point quickly, saving you lots of time. And you are in a relaxed environment where you don't have to masquerade as a "gentleman" when you just want to get naked. Taking this direct approach is the right filter for sex.

Using the accelerated approach, there are so many pluses and virtually no minuses, except one -- the dating industry doesn't want guys to do this, and many women don't either. But as men, it is your job to put a stop to this nonsense, because the dating industry and women sure as heck won't. The time to start is now.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

The Courtship Ritual Is Redundant

Women, like men, know very quickly if they will have sex with someone. So going on dates, or trying to "win over" someone is pointless when things have already been decided early on. The only reason people do it is out of a need to adhere to a social norm. In other words, they feel compelled to do what society expects of them before getting intimate.

Well screw that!

If there's one thing that will kill passion it's prolonged formal interaction. It's the scripted-ness of the whole thing that kills. It is not natural. The dating and entertainment industry would say otherwise though. This industry loves to tout the importance of getting to know someone in a formal date environment such as dinner, movies, theater, etc. It's done under the facade of treating someone "right". But it's a trap. Don't fall for it.

If you feel like doing these things out of your own free will, great. But there's no reason to do them just so you can have sex with someone. It will be a waste of time and will stand a good chance of "sterilizing" the interaction.

Better to keep the meeting short before getting intimate. This way you're not lying to yourself.

Managing Your Neediness

Logic is the most powerful way to overcome feelings of neediness where women are concerned. But also know that the irrational voice in your head telling you to constantly chase after pussy will never go away. However, it can be managed effectively. This is done using the following basic truths:

#1 Understand that even if you get a girl, you'll just want another one right after. The desire to fuck will not go away by fucking.

#2 Desire in general is the irrational pursuit of something, thinking that once you get it, the desire will go away. This is never true.

So whenever you start feeling needy where women are concerned, think about 1 and 2 and just let the neediness pass through you, and eventually it will subside. This is a neediness management system based on logic. Not twisted logic, but actual logic.

If you think about this carefully it becomes obvious why chasing after pussy is pointless. It's like a dog chasing his own tail. Therefore, it makes sense to minimize your efforts where women are concerned, and you waste a lot less time.

If you follow this management strategy, you will be able to think much more clearly and rationally where women are concerned. And a lot of things you probably used to do, like take women to dinner, will no longer make sense. You'll streamline everything. Women will become like a bottle of wine you can enjoy but at the same time buy anywhere. So there's no need to go out of your way to get one.

Of course it's good to have had a few experiences with women so you have the "database" of reference experiences to truly understand where I'm coming from. But even if you're a virgin this still applies. You just may have to read the posts more closely to get a feel for what you have to do.

Treat Women As Equals

A post I wrote on my other blog explains this concept.

If A Woman Resists Your Advances

A post I wrote on my other blog explains what to do when this happens.

Cell Phone Trick

Let's say you're at the mall, or any other daytime venue. In these places people are generally not used to meeting other people. So meeting someone in these settings can be difficult. But there is something you can do to make it easier.

If you see a girl you want to talk to, walk near her and take out your cell phone and pretend to talk to your friend (make sure the ringer is off). This lets her hear your voice and might make her more comfortable than if you had just walked up to her and started talking. Talk for a minute or so and then pretend to end the conversation. Look over to her and ask her how she's doing, and go from there. Chances are she will be more warmed up to the idea of talking with you.


Flirting can be a lot of fun and can create sexual tension. But know that flirting does not make a woman attracted to you. It only enhances attraction, so you still need something to work with. So if a woman is not interested to begin with, flirting won't work. It will be like pulling teeth.

Flirting is also good if you want to test the waters to see if she is a sexual person. And if she is uptight you will find out very quickly.

Here is an example of flirting:

Her: that beach is crazy

Me: bars aren't that great there

Her: no, but I don’t go to the beach for the bars, I go for a tan

Me: and how’s that tan going?

Her: not even at all...I must work on it

Me: wouldn’t mind seeing those tan lines

Foreign Women Are Generally The Best

Foreign women living in the city are generally the best, especially from countries like Russia and certain European countries. The important thing is that they didn't grow up in the city and spend their formative years here.

The first thing you will notice is their friendliness, leading you to suspect they are not originally from the city, and of course you will be right.

Famous Men Get Laid Because Of Exposure

Being famous doesn't generate attraction. It might enhance it but it's not the direct cause. You can be attractive without being famous, but exposure from being famous will open many more doors. Plus if you are say, a rock star, a sexual (party) vibe is already established and sex is much more likely to be a byproduct of that. Clearly, Bill Gates does not fit into this category. He does not have groupies lining up for him during one of his events.

Attraction Is Established Early

Going on long dates is unnecessary. Women always say they know right away if they would have sex with a man (it's true, and men are the same). But at the same time many women also say they need to get to know a man first before having sex. This exposes the lie.

Another lie (or rather, myth) is that women are justified in waiting because it helps ensure the guy isn't "dirty". Their argument is, if the guy is willing to have sex right away then he obviously does that with everyone, therefore he must be dirty. But consider this, a guy can wait three dates before having sex with every girl and still have tons of sexual conquests. Moreover, he can rotate his schedule to fit in a large number of girls and in such a way to give each girl the impression that he "isn't the type to sleep around", and still end up bedding large numbers of women. And because these women have their guard down (because he's willing to wait) he may end up bedding more women than the guy who fucks right away.

Attraction Is Not A Choice But Action Is A Choice

The things that attract people are basically the same everywhere. But what's different is the cultures in which people live, which influence what people actually end up doing. For example, women in downtown Toronto tend to be less friendly than women in neighbouring towns, such as Thornhill, Mississauga, Bolton.

Different places might be similar, but definitely not the same.

Taken In Hand

This is a very informative website run by a woman:

The Truth Comes Out In The Bedroom

The bedroom is the one place where you will find out how sexually great a woman is, or is not. It's a type of litmus test where all the potential hangups and insecurities are aired like dirty laundry. If a woman is confident and enjoys sex there will be no games and sex will happen quickly. But if she has doubts and was perhaps burned in the past she will resist having sex and won't want to repeat the "mistake".

Many psychological issues women have are centered around sex, so it makes sense that the bedroom will be the one place where they tend to come out all at once.

Your patience should be limited in this regard. Pretty much the only time it's probably okay to invest extra time and effort is if a woman is young and inexperienced (e.g. a virgin). But all other times it's either shit or get off the pot. If she just can't seem to go through with it then there's no reason for you to hang in there, hoping the situation will improve. It almost always does not.

Remember, no orgasm is worth a lot of your time and effort, especially for a man where it lasts less than a minute. Much easier to go to the bathroom, jerk off for a minute, and be done for the day.

Move on. Tell her you have things to do. In some cases you should burn your bridges right then and there if the situation is too fucked up. Other times it's okay to wait another time (maybe she is having her period). But let her reach out to you for the next get together. This way you know she genuinely wants to have sex with you.

Do You Need Game?

No, you don't need game to get women. However, some guys use "game" (e.g. canned game) and are successful with it because the alternative is they have nothing to say, so they need something to work with. If you have no personality and poor social skills then game will help you. But if you already have a personality and social skills, game is redundant and unnecessary.

Also, the notion of game implies that getting women requires a special skill set. This is simply not true, and it goes against the (proven) fact that women like self-confident men who don't try to impress them.

I personally act normal and talk about everyday things with women and they are just as attracted as they ever were back when I was using game. This is because I'm not trying to impress them, and I'm not needy for their attention. And in fact, the only difference between the conversations I'll have with a guy versus a girl is that with the girl I throw in some occasional flirting and maybe have sex with her. But other than this, there is no difference in my communication style.

Getting To The Point Quickly

Let women know early on what your intentions are, sexually or otherwise. There is no downside to this. If you wait and decide to break the "news" to her later you might find out that she wasn't interested all along, and you will have wasted time. There is nothing gained by waiting. No points are gained. The probability of sex happening doesn't increase. Thinking otherwise is a myth.

Also, all you're doing is verbalizing what your mind has already decided it wants, which happens very quickly (for women too). So the idea of waiting to come clean later on with a decision you made right now is ludicrous.

The other thing is that the best women will appreciate this. So by being honest and upfront you are screening for the best women, and at the same time you will do an excellent job of avoiding the women who prefer to wait and play games.

Do Women Test?

To answer this, let's look at what some consider to be examples of women testing men:

• Women giving you a hard time

• Women who deliberately try to make you angry because they enjoy male aggression

These should not be considered normal or acceptable. They point to shortcomings in the women and have nothing to do with how the men should respond.

Some people think women test men for alpha traits. The problem with this statement is that alpha men don't care about passing anyone's tests. So the only test a woman can "administer" is to see if you don't care to pass tests. But this is too abstract a concept. So one can conclude that the argument is false. Now, it's possible that a woman may "test" briefly in the beginning, but once the man firmly establishes the boundaries she should by rights stop testing immediately, and if she doesn't then she is not interested in being with a strong man. She is only interested in being a difficult person (a brat).

However, there are times when women just want to know who you are. Them asking questions is not a test. For example, if you are exhibiting mixed behaviour women may call you on it because they are confused on where you stand. That's not a test. It is just you not being consistent in your actions. Men who learn seduction frequently give off mixed messages through their strange behaviour, and when the women call them on it, they refer to it as a "shit test". So they go through elaborate strategies to pass these perceived tests, when it was their behaviour that triggered it. It had nothing to do with the women testing. Years ago I stopped using the material I learned in the seduction community, and as a result all the "shit testing" stopped.

Some men get sucked into an endless cycle of always having to pass "shit tests". The women get used to throwing "curveballs" and watching the guy responding to them using his "arsenal" of techniques (in order to prove himself). It's a fun game for them. And it takes these men a lot of effort to keep it going.

Strong and Independent Women

Many women think that being strong and independent is a turn-off for men. This is not the case. What turns men off is bossy women who give people a hard time.

A woman can be strong, know what she wants and then go after it. That's entirely a good thing. It comes from knowing who you are and what makes you truly happy. This mindset should be embraced.

Men shouldn't tell women how to act, and women shouldn't tell men how to act. They should both be free to decide what is appropriate for them. It just so happens that a natural polarity exists between men and women, which makes them attractive to each other. So in general, when men and women act the way they naturally want to, the result is that they are naturally attractive to each other.

But problems occur when men are told to act more like women and vice-versa. This causes suppression of many people's natural behaviour and bad things happen as a result.

If a woman truly wants the man to have most of the power in the relationship, that's perfectly fine. And if a woman wants things to be more equal then that's fine too. Matches exist for both types of women. It just so happens that most women naturally want the man to be the dominant figure in the relationship. And most men naturally want to be the dominant figure. I certainly fall into that category. But for me specifically, I prefer to express what I want to a woman and then allow her to go along with it if she wants. I have no desire to tell anyone what to do, but at the same time I won't be told what to do. I have a path and I'm going to take it, no matter if anyone follows or not.

People often wonder, can a woman be strong and independent in a relationship if the man is the dominant one? Yes she can, if she chooses this situation for herself, and is strong and confident enough to understand that this is what she truly wants. And if she chooses to be the dominant one instead, that makes her no more or less strong. Most women who choose the former recognize that they could be the dominant one in the relationship if they choose, but they decide not to. Instead, they prefer the man to "wear the pants", so to speak. Many women are already burdened with responsibility and demands at work, so they prefer the man to be in charge in their relationships, because this makes them feel more feminine. In other words, they prefer to take on the traditional feminine role, but minus the oppression of the past. And some of the main benefits of this arrangement reported by couples is that it creates more trust in the relationship and the sex is better.

There's a good website, run by a woman, in which this dynamic is explained in the context of mutual respect and consent:

How To Deal With Sexually Demanding Women

Women like this basically see men as a life-support system for a dildo. A woman like this wants you to please her and would likely criticize your performance if she doesn't get off the way she wants. But in reality, during sex you should be mostly focused on pleasing yourself. That's the basis of the male sex drive, to orgasm and get satisfied. And it just so happens that women generally want this as well, for you to enjoy yourself (feminine women anyway). This is one reason women frequently want to know when you're cumming, so they can relish the experience more.

Now, it's okay for women to tell you what they like sexually (e.g. doggy style), but in a soft feminine way, not like a drill sergeant barking orders.

If a woman tells you that she expects her man to "perform", tell her that you fuck the way you fuck, and if she doesn't like it...

How To Deal With Women Who Want To Take Charge

The best thing to do is avoid juvenile posturing where you're both trying to get the upper hand, while exercising the option of ending the date early.

If you allow such a woman to take charge she may later express disappointment that you let her do that. Warning, this is a sign of a conflicted woman. On the one hand she wants to be in charge (feminist programming), but on the other hand she wants you to be a man in control (biological desire). So basically she is putting the blame on you for doing what she wants, and not doing what she wants.

But at the same time you should not be rigid and dogmatically resist her taking the lead in all instances. Just remember that you can pull the plug at any time. So out of fairness, just see where it goes. It makes more sense to be open to going along with her plans (assuming they are reasonable) if she is so determined to take the lead. But personally I would only go along with them to avoid juvenile posturing, if nothing else, and with the option of ending the date early if she goes too far. If she is too dominant (or controlling) then I wouldn't want to see her again. Of course, you will have to decide for yourself what those boundaries are and what constitutes her "going too far".

Dominance and submission (leading and being led) is not something that should be fought for in a healthy relationship. It should be based on a choice that both parties make as to which role each will take on, and in what proportion. Otherwise it just becomes a ridiculous battle for the upper hand. Childish.

How To Deal With Difficult Women

When you encounter a difficult woman the best thing to do is end the interaction early.

Some women assume that it is the man's job to handle their bratty behaviour, and if he doesn't he's not man enough. Don't fall into the trap of trying to prove yourself to these women. They are not taking responsibility for their actions and prefer to blame the man for their shortcomings (which is a feminist tradition).

Also, women from foreign (less feminist) countries who become acclimatized to the city are sometimes the most difficult and are the biggest bitches. It's as if the sharp contrast makes them lose their mind.

A post I wrote on my other blog explains in more detail how to deal with difficult women.

Let Women Do Some of The Pursuing

It comes down to give and take. A post I wrote on my other blog describes this.

Women Who Talk Openly About Sex

There are a few women who talk openly about sex and are able to follow through. Usually these women are visibly aroused and you can tell they're good to go.

But there is another category of woman who talks openly about sex. Unfortunately, these women are not able to follow through, and they outnumber the first group. You can identify these women by their matter-of-fact way of talking about sex. It's as if they're talking about the hockey game. They are usually cock teases who themselves are not comfortable with their sexuality, so they try to compensate by delving into conversation topics they are not congruent with, with perhaps the unconscious knowledge that they will never walk the talk, so they can afford to pour it on.

Either that or you have an escort on your hands. These women do walk the talk.

Women In Male Dominated Professions

Women that work around men all day and who try to compete with them in the workplace are at risk of becoming masculinized. It's the nature of the environment. In their desperate effort to win at the "game" some of these women lose touch with their femininity and become domineering ice queens. As a result, their relationships with men are compromised. They won't respond well to flirting and tend to respond negatively to forwardness in males. If you put your arm around these ladies they may react with hostility, telling you that they didn't give you permission to do that, or something of that ilk.

These women are caught up in the doublethink of wanting a strong man who always asks for permission first.

These women want the upper hand in relationships and will fight for it tooth and nail. Their mindset is such that a strong confident man will chip away at their self-image.

These women have difficulty reconciling their desire to dominate with their (biological) desire for the man to wear the "pants" in the relationship. The result is a very confused woman who doesn't know what she wants, doesn't know how to get it, and is always unsatisfied.