Wednesday, May 27, 2009

The Types of Women Who Have Casual Sex

There are basically two types of women who will regularly engage in casual (no-strings) sex. The first type is a woman with high self-esteem. She's comfortable with her sexuality and has no issues with having sex outside of committed relationships. These women are ideal as Friends With Benefits on an ongoing basis. They never (or rarely) create drama and have gotten a handle on their ego and emotions. These women are usually quite intelligent and have a lot going for them. Therefore, they are less dependent on validation from men, since their self-worth is not connected to "keeping a man" using sex as a bargaining chip. Thus, they are able to fully enjoy sex by itself. These women are less common in this part of the world.

The second type is a woman with low self-esteem. She has the natural desire to have sex outside of committed relationships, but at the same time is unable to cope with the other need she has, which is to follow social norms. These norms could be imposed by family, friends, or the culture in which she lives. She may also have a strongly religious upbringing which makes her predicament even more stressful. This type of woman may spend many years of her youth resisting her sexual urges. She may settle into a long-term relationship, which partly takes care of her sexual needs. But eventually the relationship becomes boring and unfulfilling since it doesn't fully satisfy her. So a boiling point is reached and there is a breakup, or divorce. Having reached her limit of frustration she will start having promiscuous sex with different men in spite of her conditioning. She is finally rebelling. She may get into casual relationships with men for a few weeks or months at a time. But eventually those relationships turn sour as well. She starts feeling "used", and may start demanding a committed relationship in exchange for all the sex she has "given". She may even resort to withdrawal and manipulation tactics to trap the man into a relationship. This is part and parcel with the feelings of guilt she has for her "slutty" behaviour, but may also be related to growing feelings of jealousy and possessiveness. Now that the most acute edge of her sexual urges has been dealt with, her conditioning re-asserts itself, and she basically reverts back to her former mindset. The problem is that she still hasn't fully addressed her self-esteem issues to begin with. She was only able to break free of the bonds due to extreme sexual frustration. But the core issues are still there. She may eventually go back to a committed relationship until frustration builds up again and she is back out there being promiscuous. And the cycle repeats. Sometimes women break out of this vicious cycle, and sometimes they don't. As it turns out, these women are more common in this part of the world. There have been studies done in North America which have linked female promiscuity to higher rates of neuroticism. It is obvious why.

In contrast, in places like Eastern Europe, female promiscuity is usually associated with higher self-esteem (less neuroticism). This is generally due to more liberal views towards sex and deliberate efforts to disconnect religion from sexuality.

The same studies have also found that promiscuity among males is generally associated with having high self-esteem. This makes sense, since men are generally encouraged to "sleep around", and doing so doesn't carry nearly as much negative social stigma.

The way to deal with a woman in the latter category is to simply let her go once she starts making trouble. It's highly unlikely that you will be able to reason with her. So just cut your losses, thank her for the good time, and move on.

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