Friday, May 29, 2009

Dealing With Flaky Women

When a woman flakes on me I normally don't bother rescheduling another meet. I'll listen to her reason (excuse) and then cut my losses, usually.

If a woman flakes on you, chances are good that she is not that interested in meeting you. But women normally don't have the guts to tell you that so instead they will take the easy way out and just cancel on you. It's a basic passive-aggressive strategy used by women who can't take responsibility for their behaviour, which happens to be a lot of women.

Now, there are those few times when the reason for cancellation is legitimate. For example, a family emergency. But if her reason is somewhat vague, like something came up last minute or whatever, then that's a pretty good indication that whatever came up had a higher priority than you. Also keep in mind that whatever came up was after she had made plans with you. So she cancelled a previous commitment (you) in favor of something (or someone) more recent. It's basically like telling someone at the front of the line that someone further back gets in before you, even though you were there first.

The other reason a woman may flake is because she wants you to meet her on her terms. For example, if a woman wants you to drive 50 miles to see her but you insist on meeting somewhere closer to you, she will agree but then flake on you last minute, as if to give you the hint that she is used to guys coming to her. Again, it's a passive-aggressive strategy. With these women, they will keep flaking on you until you give up or you do things on their terms.

But like I said, there are those times when a woman has a legitimate reason and articulates it well (e.g. family emergency), and you can tell she genuinely wants to make it up to you. In this case the best strategy is to simply let her suggest a new place/time. Let her do more of the work. Remember, you got ready for nothing the first time so your time was basically wasted, and even though her reason was legitimate there's no reason you should repeat your efforts. You can afford to slack a bit and let her do more of the work in rescheduling.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Emergencies do happen, however the probability of emergency is extremely small that it should not even be taken into account. Simply speaking for all practical purposes there are no legitimate reasons.