Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Reader Submission From Germany

Hello!

I am german and in my early twenties.

I was an outsider at high school, although I had some friends there. I had nearly no experiences with girls at high school, because I was very shy and insecure.

After high school I had a time gap of roughly 3 months, waiting for my civil duty to start. That was the time when I stumbled about PU. I had some friends, from the days of school and some from my hobby karate, but no girls. I was 19 years old. Therefore I thought of the concept as amazing. Just go up and talk to women. It sounded so "manly".

So I did it. The first three months were a thrill and an adrenalin kick. It was like a drugride and I did daygame nearly everyday with at the beginning one wingman and later some more too. I approached at the average 7 girls a day. It helped my social skills and my confidence a lot, although the results were non existent. Sure, I got a lot of numbers and some rare dates. But they did not lead to  anything. I dated/instant dated 2-3 german girls and a girl from new zealand as an instant date in the first three months.

To sum it up and keep it short. The mistakes I did at that time were mainly not grooming myself as good as today, so I looked nerdy and I also was shy and quite insecure when it came to body contact, but that's hardly a mistake. To sum it more up, I was not able to keep her entertained all the time. The dates flopped all the time, but I kept on going, driven by mainly two factors.

1. The Attention of women.
2. The praise of the little lair, me and my wingman created, for approaching like the "man with balls of steel".

Roughly 9 months later, I went out on the average 2-3 times a week and approached 4-5 girls. 9 months full of phone numbers and the same ratio of dates or even less. I had often problems with my state, not being as energetic as I had to be.

I slowly began to ask myself, why I am doing all this stuff. Sure it's nice to get the (often short) attention of some women and the guys think I am cool, but the drug wasn't as strong as in the early days. But being the logical thinker I am, I was still a virgin, although one year into PU, I even never had kissed a girl, although I dated some hot girls from time to time. So why taking all the emotional stress and pressure, which sometimes evolved into anger? I had/have a good time jerking off to porn and when the need to have sex becomes a pressure, I could have always visited a prostitute. And prostitutes are not even ugly. Many of them are very hot and have to treat you good, because of the competition. But I kept going. The possibilities above were not "manly" and equal to "giving up".

Then I approached a hot woman in the city at a summer day. She was from eastern europe, on holidays here in my part of germany. We spoke for one minute, because she had to hurry, so we set a date for the late afternoon. I was there and so was she. And here comes the big difference. She did her part. We had a wonderful conversation and than made out in the evening at a bench somewhere. After that, she went back to her hotel and I back to my home, but we had already set a date for the next day.

The next day, she felt very guilty about making out with me, but we still spent the day and made out again in the evening. Her companionship was very nice and pleasant. A big difference to the enormous amount of german influenced girls, I talked to throughout the year. Sadly, she had to fly back this very day, but she asked for my email and we met again.

Slowly it dawned on me, that it was not my mistake, if the women does not feel entertained. By slowly, I mean roughly 1.5 years. In that time I had a number of makeouts, maybe 7 or 8 and some dates. No sex, but a blowjob and another time a breastjob in a photobooth. It could have been more, but I rejected girls, I personally found unattractive for one night stands. However in that time, I gradually began to question pu, found this blog and got fed up with the process of approaching.

Here is an example.

I recently had a date with a girl, I met in the train. She hold eye contact with me, which only happened a handful of times before. Girls normally do not hold or even *gasp* make *gasp* eye contact here in germany. Never. So back in the days, when I was out in the city, I found out, that you have a good chance with girls, who look a millisecond in your eyes and then DOWN. If they rarely look up again, in your eyes for another millisecond, you will even have a very good chance. But, if they look either to the right or to the left, without putting their eyes down, I was kicked out of the set mostly immediately. But I do not want to discuss strategies here...By the way that makes 200 dollars/euros!

So the beginning with her was very good. The eye contact was hot and in fact she looked attractive. We set a date and she even smsed me 2 hours before, so I do not forget. But when I arrived and we got talking a bit, I found out, that she had not so much to talk about. Back when I started PU, I would have had a problem to keep her entertained. Now I can do that. So I did. It was hitting on my nerves. I even made 2-3 intentional pauses to see, if I am maybe wrong (please, let me be wrong!). Nope. All what came from her was an "uummm....". That was awkward, so I started talking about my stuff. Now do not get me wrong. She was not super silent. She talked, but it was like a 20/80 ratio at the beginning, than 30/70 in the middle and after that 35/65 at the end. And I introduced most of the themes. She also had quite a distant vibe. Well, I hugged her out of the blue and stuff like that, but I thought a kiss would have been the wrong decision. After the date, I was busy with my final exams for the semester so I had to ignore her. I also wrote her a sms two weeks later. She answered and we smsed a short time. 3 Weeks later after the exam I smsed her again. She did not answer. I did not care. She wasn't such a pleasant companion anyways. So what did I learn from this. Next time, less talk and try to go for the kiss, even if she has a strange vibe.

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Conclusion:

Okay, here is the conclusion.

Let's start with Pickup.

If you are the type of manipulative alpha salesman pusher (yeah, I do not get along with such people long term.), who looks always the best and has a great ambition to fuck any good looking, but most likely shallow character, then pickup is something for you in the long run. You nevertheless need much free time to approach women, handle your big social circle and read up on manipulation techniques. But I can promise you, that you will get laid fairly regularly with hot girls. Only that you have to do most of the work, being a great story teller, entertaining groups and shit like that. If you dare to question, why you put so much time and effort into hot girls and your cool "friends" and, as a consequence, decide to back up long term, not giving them the time of the day nearly every day, you will get fucked. So, you do not want to be the cool guy anymore, constantly wooing girls and impressing your cool male friends and playing constantly cool word games with them? If you change your behaviour accordingly, for a short term, the damage you have done may not be so harsh and can be repaired, by giving a party, being cool again. If you change your behaviour for a longer term, you will lose the girls, because you are not wooing them anymore. Your cool male friends will fuck you verbally, when you do not want to counterattack every cool and fun word game anymore. So you lose status and they will leave too or in some cases not treat you with respect anymore.

But you will not change your behaviour, because you are addicted to social prestige and sex with hot girls. Other people say, you are living a free players life and you are cool and alpha and the man of the hour. In reality you are living in a prison, created by your addictions. You have to obey the strict social rules or the prestige and the sex are gone.

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That case above is of course extreme. There are many more shades in reality. You have to decide where you want to settle.

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Do you want to be more of a cool guy with the benefits of social prestige, many friends and hot girls? That's fine. Just be aware, that you have to work for it in many ways. There is less room for free will. You have to obey today's rules of society on how to be the cool guy. You will have it easier, when you are kind of cool and only want to be cooler, because chances are, you have figured out some of today's society's rules and have no problem playing by them. But if you are now a very "uncool" guy. With "uncool" male friends and no girls, then you will have a hard time. Pick up is one way to go.

But do not listen to crappy gurus/coaches, no matter how big or small they are. They want to sell shit. Don't pay. If you have motivation problems than FUCKING DO NOT PAY A LOT OF MONEY FOR A STUPID BOOT CAMP TO HAVE SOME BLOKE STANDING BEHIND YOU AND DRILLING YOU LIKE A STUPID IDIOT FROM THE FUCKIN ARMY. Sorry. The dating industry in germany is growing. I do not approve. Some coaches may even appear very nice and sincere, but:

1. They charge large amounts of money or they try to get you involved with them using cheap introductory meetings trying to upsell you into more expensive coach sessions or seminars, in a direct or indirect way, by showing how much hot pussy they get with only a few simple rules and very few (hahaha funny.) work. The last version is more sophisticated.

2. They charge money. They basically exploit the addiction of males for sex and make money out of this. That's like working as a PR Manager for the cigarette industry. They only make it worse, but in a more subtle way.

3. They weaken males as a gender. Think about it. They teach you all the tricks and techniques and behaviour to "move your dating life to the next level". Isn't that awesome? Nope. They basically tell you to do all the work when it comes to women and give you some material to pass that awkward time...although it's much easier to pass that time, by telling stuff out of your life. Nevertheless the main point is, that you have to work more. By applying such a mindset at courting, some more women will feel justified, to let the man do most of the work.

4. Some material will be useful for the credibility, the big rest is just filler, with often bad, not practical information. Without fillers, they would run out of business pretty fast. It's pretty hard to sell stuff, which can be summarized at a few pages.

A very common big filler is the resistance/bitch shield/persistence bullshit. Let's say I am a coach and I need content to sell. Let's at first look at the scenarios which can occur, when a guy approaches a woman.

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- She rejects him outright

What can I sell here. "How to overcome rejection!"

Yeye sounds okayish. Maybe I can fill out an ebook with that. Let me see. A guy has to look good. Okay. First chapter "Look like the alpha male!" HAHA! I tell them, to ask other women (sister, salesperson at shop) for styling. Oh well. Some credibility wouldn't be bad. Oh look what I found at the internetz after 0.1 seconds of google search!

http://malertv.de/welche-farben-passen-zusammen-harmonien-rot-lila-blau-grun-gelb/

"As you guys probably know, an alpha male has to look his best, to attract a quality woman in life. I see myself as an au...err..artistic alpha and in fact I spent a lot of time (0.1 secs) to get into the amazing and fascinating concept of color harmony teachings. That incredible, yet simple system allows you, to look awesome and in unity with yourself, so you will feel the glances of the hot ladies beaming at yourself yadda yadda yadda!"

HAHA I ARE GENIUS! Now let's talk about the different stereotypes women are attracted to.

"Now it's a truth, that the world of hollywood and the several alpha characters, such as james bond are the secret dream men of women all over the world. I tell you now yadayadayada."

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Okay. I think you guys got my point. It's just too much. You can argue now, that there are really guys, who do not know, what to wear. And this is true, I was one of them. But all you need is available for free at the internet, styling forums etc. Or you indeed ask a friend, your sister, a saleswomen. Boom done. You do not need books about how to look alpha.

Let's continue.

_________________

Hello! Mr. coach is back! So I made now my first chapter, filled in some made up examples and just wrote some shit! Wow. 10 pages. From nothing. HAHA, let's go on. What does he also need? If he appears social, some women will be more receptive. Social means talking to people. So let's look what communication scientists and other PUAs wrote on meeting people, water that down, fill in some made up example AND HERE WE GO!

_________________

- The guy does not get rejected, but she does not engage in conversation and only answers one sided. Best solution: Move on.

Well! She obviously does not want to meet that guy. But she does not say so and thus he is insecure! I smell that money!

"Do not worry bro. She is not rejecting you, she only wants you to be the men of her dreams. She is insecure, if you are now her superman or not. So you have to man up, and take her by her hand, so to speak. What you are experiencing, is the typical bitch shield resistance! I tell you how to successfully overcome the bitch shield! Book my seminars for 3000 dollars or you will never see the right path! I am totally not playing on your biggest fear bro."

As you can see, this sort of coaching is a dirty business. But you can make a lot of money.

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Be a critical thinker, do it your own way. The only thing you should get from PU, is reading up on openers. That's it. And she should know fairly soon, that you have sexual interest in her. What to talk about? Just the normal stuff you would talk about with new male friends. If she does not like that, move on.

The ebook of the author of this blog is giving some good advises on this subject. It costs exactly nothing. And it's no hook for anything else, because there isn't anything else. Of course, you can try out routines, if you really do not know what to say. They never worked for me.

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Now let's get on with women.

I personally do not approach women out of the blue anymore. However, I look if they make it easy for me. I am watching for obvious eye contacts. If that happens, the girl looks hot and I feel like it, I make a move. It is rare, but it happens from time to time. If she doesn't let you do all the work and has stuff to tell, can make you laugh and is a very enjoyable company...Congratulations! Make her your girlfriend. I only experienced that two times in my life.

If she lets you do all or most of the work and has nothing to tell, then get away from her. Alternatively, if you have the nerves for shit like that and the social skills to entertain her all the time, try to push the direction asap to makeouts and sex. If that fails, get away from her.

Final Note: If you really have a strong urge to have sex with a hot girl, but no one is available, go to a prostitute or jerk off to porn. Problem solved.

Okay, that's all. I hope you enjoyed it and took some use for yourself. I also hope that you can understand my english.

Greetings from germany

5 comments:

pinetree said...

Nice post. It is if he was talking aobut TO women. So we are dealing with a world wide delima now.

John said...

Places with the worst women tend to inspire PUA movements, since it's just one extreme trying to cope with another.

If you want to know which are the good countries to visit for women, just find out where the PUA bootcamps are commonly held, and then don't go there.

Anonymous said...

Slightly off topic, but check out this blind date post:

http://torontostandard.com/the-sprawl/its-not-you-its-me-and-my-inability-to-fill-out-dating-questionnaires

Toronto's bitches seem to have a huge blind spot: themselves.

pinetree said...

My view is that a hostile environmnet against men has been created by a 'minority' of radical feminsts. In this hostile landscape - men have so far formed three different ways to cope; MRAs, MGTOW and PUAs. There seems to be some tensions at times between the groups. Each one criticises the other to some extent. I personally see both positives and negatives to each group. I try to implement the postives. PUAs does not work I find in these hostile times-- but there are still some worth while points like personal development, communication skills and good hygiene etc.

Some criticisms of MGTOW is they do nothing --waiting for society to collapse --and wait for MRAs and PUAs to do all the work in the meantime. For MRAs some say they are wasiting their efforts protesting in an environment they just cannot suceed in.

But there are also many postive aspects of each three groups.

The analogy I use is if there would be another Titanic ( where1450 men died vs 103 women who died) --PUAs wouild say fuck this and jump on the life boat and take off - no guarantee if they would try wait for the life boat to fill up. MRAs would protest and some force themselves on the life rafts over women. And MGTOW would try to quickly build or find some floating device and take off without anyone noticing.

So three different approaches to acheive the goal of being saved from the hostile waters.

Anonymous said...

"However, I look if they make it easy for me. I am watching for obvious eye contacts. "
Nice thought..just not going to happen unless all men started acting the way you do. Which is also not going to happen.