Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Being An Asshole Doesn't Help Much

It's like an urban myth that being an asshole gets you women. I never found a lot of truth in that. To me it seems that being an asshole is kind of like using PUA methods, where they are at best marginally effective, and can only slightly enhance attraction that is already there. The problem with being an asshole is the same as the problem with being a nice guy, it's viewed as a type of extreme in the eyes of Toronto women. If you're nice, women will associate that with loser, needy behavior. If you're an asshole they will feel offended and also brush you off. Acting like a true asshole cannot get or keep women unless those women happen to have very low self-esteem. At best women will be intrigued by you and your "dark side" but once that element of intrigue wears off (and it quickly will) she will move on to the next shiny thing.

Toronto women are notorious for rejecting all forms of men, including the asshole. In fact, when you display asshole traits to a Toronto woman that often just makes her determined to put you in your place. A man being an asshole is a stereotype that Toronto women have in their heads about men, which is one of the factors contributing to the anti-male bias that exists in the city. So it makes sense that you can't get close to women using a persona that helps keep them away from you in the first place.

I have acted like an asshole towards women back in the day when I was experimenting with what works and what doesn't, and I can tell you that it rarely works, if at all. It seems it is best used in small doses, according to the situation. In fact, given the confrontational and rude nature of many Toronto women, being an asshole is simply a way to fight fire with fire, and to prevent them from walking all over you. So if a chick hints at being taken out to dinner you pull out the asshole card and tell her to get lost. That may get her to take you a bit more seriously and respect you a bit more, but that's almost all the benefit you will get from being an asshole, at least with the typical snooty Toronto woman.

If a girl ends up with a guy with asshole traits, it's usually a byproduct of being with someone that she mainly likes for other reasons, such as good looks, or being rich (for example). So it's much easier for a woman to complain about such a guy for being an asshole, then to admit that she is willing to put up with it because he's really good looking and/or rich. This is why it often seems like women go for the asshole types, but there's usually more going on than meets the eye.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

I've come to the realization that you are on a wrong path if you have to change who you are at your core to appeal to a certain subset of women. It doesn't come off as genuine, and you end up feeling worse off than you did before. I find that women are more attracted to a guy that's level-headed and emotionally calm and stable than a guy who flies off the handle at the slightest provocation.

It's okay to be an asshole SOME OF THE TIME, just like it's okay to be loving and caring and nice SOME OF THE TIME. Obviously, only if a woman blatantly disrespects you should the flame come out, and that's a common sense response.

I advise any man to take his game on the road if the women in his particular city aren't cooperating. Hop in your car or on a plane and just GO.

Anonymous said...

Yes, it's a classic truism that the most attractive women seem to go for the biggest assholes. As we all know by now, "asshole" is supposed to mean confident man. That arrogant bastard that seems to be drowning in pussy usually has more going on, though.

As we have discussed before, money or a cool job are a big deal. Toronto women are obsessed with status, so having a boyfriend accessory that puts them above their friends is probably more important than a woman's own happiness.

Being an asshole by itself won't get you very far. If you are a good-looking, tall, rich asshole who travels abroad and lives large, women will drop their panties for you. Yes, it's superficial, and yes, these guys probably don't respect women.

Frankly, it's a trap to get obsessed with shallow whores like most Toronto women. Playing the game on their terms is a recipe for disaster. You're better off cultivating yourself intellectually, spiritually, and physically for a woman who is worth your time.

John said...

That's true, a guy shouldn't have to change himself to get women. I wrote this post because there's so many guys that insist that assholes get all the women, but that's really not true (from what I've seen). I just wanted to write my observations on the subject.

Anonymous said...

>>If you are a good-looking, tall, rich asshole who travels abroad and lives large, women will drop their panties for you<<

As long as you are rich and particularly with status, you can be small and ugly. I don't think looks matter, only in ADDITION. One British music performer marvels how he is called 'attractive' now that he is famous. A man doesn't need a woman to be on tv or a stage to find her attractive.

Anonymous said...

toronto women don't care if you're an asshole or a nice guy, just if you're rich

Anonymous said...

you are on the wrong path buddy

if confidence is the main dish, the meat, than your personality is the plate and the romance thing is the spice

"nice guys" give a plate full of spice, smells nice, but leaves the girls hungry

wo what do these women do?

out of desperation, they jump at any half-cooked meat thrown on the ground, in this case the "badboys"

I have younger sisters, so I know this shit

they hate it, but they are hungry, so they forget them quickly and hope that the next guy will have both balls to walk up to them and treat them with respect

I give an example of a guy, one of my friends, that could be labeled a "natural" based on the amount of women he gets

first you must know, he doesn`t sleep with all of them, that`s an urban myth of the pua, that naturals = 100% pussy magnet

it`s more like 20-30%, but he talks to a lot of women

and he talks to them in public, while regular guys try to stalk them on facebook

he is 100% daygame, he hates clubs

so, he has average higth, average income, average looks, dresses casual

he`s physically active, outgoing, funny and nice, really nice to people

but when you piss him off, you are fucked

got it???

so less internet, less masturbation, while having more friends, more sport and you`ll be there

isn`t it obvious?

if you are passive & nerdy, you have to chose a lifestyle that makes you active & fun to balance out the equation

try this:

2/3rd nice guy without ass kissing

than add to that 1/3rd badboy

capisci???

John said...

"out of desperation, they jump at any half-cooked meat thrown on the ground, in this case the "badboys"

I have younger sisters, so I know this shit

they hate it, but they are hungry, so they forget them quickly and hope that the next guy will have both balls to walk up to them and treat them with respect"

*** Comments like this always amaze me. Where are these women who supposedly want men to walk up to them with confidence?? Sure a lot of women say they WANT that but the truth is that they ACT contrary to that when the occasion arises. Maybe one girl in a 100 will be receptive and follow through but that's hardly anything to crow about.

By default, you CANNOT trust a woman's point of view on this, for the main simple reason that they LACK introspection and have NO perspective on seeing things from the other side where they have done approaches and therefore are EMPATHETIC on the difficulties that come with getting to know a stranger in these parts. But because they are always on the judges panel and are never the ones being judged they tend to have unrealistic and particularly harsh criteria for how men "should" approach them, and what constitutes a "good" approach.

The next time a girl (any girl, even a sister) complains about the lackluster approach style of men ask her if she's ever done any approaching herself, and then listen to the CRICKETS. And then you will have a much better idea of where she's coming from and where she's not coming from.

One last thing, why is it that when some guy comments on how supposedly easy it is to get girls they always use as an example one of their friends or someone they heard of. It's almost never a statement of proof as gleaned from their own personal experiences. What I'm saying is that pretty much everyone "knows" or has "heard of" someone who does fantastic things. That's the foundation of myth isn't it? There was a time when guys would see me at the club and because I was always talking to girls they assumed that I was always getting girls. But nothing could be further from the truth. In truth I was a lot less successful than I appeared to be.

Anonymous said...

http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2011/12/22/caring-vs-uncaring-assholery/

Please observe the above link. There is definitely truth to being an Asshole. The way you present it is the difference.

I just stumbled upon this blog.chron.com and although happy there is a site for my home town that I love, I think it is misguided.

This is not a Toronto problem. This is a western, feminist problem.

You have two choices. You can harbour resentment and be angry. That category is the men's rights movement. The Spearhead is a perfect example of this. Although they have many great articles pointing out the rediculousness of how mens are fucked, there is definitely anger.

Or, you can adapt. Read the above blog.

My story is typical. 5 years involuntary celibacy. No idea how to talk to women etc. Then I decided to do something about it. Every woman out there is approachable. If you think you can't, get back to the basics and. Understand female psychology.

Game is simply charisma.

It can be. Learned.

Regards

John said...

I've mentioned numerous times the problems with western women so I do recognize that. But I can only speak most accurately and with the most detail about the area where I live. Yes, the implications of what I write extend well beyond Toronto.

I won't read the above blog since I am already familiar with it. It does not fit my views, and I will leave it at that.

Anonymous said...

Not much to do with you being an asshole . You are just not good looking . You are not attractive guy . OK . Maybe you are too skinny or to fat or have no hair or your breath stinks . Lots of men are like hat and women too . Or you talk to much or you dress like an a idiot with cheap stupid baggy cloths look like a bum. There are so many things ,so many .I'm a women .