Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Reader Submission: Toronto, the world’s capital of misandry

Here's a submission from a reader who asked that I publish his thoughts on the Toronto dating scene.

*****

Toronto, the world’s capital of misandry

I moved to Toronto 4 years ago and my life has changed dramatically ever since. I have become a deeply unmotivated individual, taking anti-depressants for the very first time and waking up every morning trying to find meaning to what I am doing. Needless to say, I never had to do this before, and my family back home asks me why am I still here. So I asked myself the same question, why am I here? After a minute of searching for the answer I finally decided to leave Toronto and go back home. They ask me what is it about Toronto that affected you so much. My response without any doubt: the women.

Pardon my language, but seriously, who the fuck do they think they are?

I as a man get rejected here by default. It is true. Women do not even give me a chance to speak. In the beginning I thought my game was off. However, gradually I learned there was absolutely nothing wrong with me. If I'm not even given a chance, one chance, then there's something bigger going on. How can you say you’re not good at a given game if you’re never allowed off the bench?

If you're a decent guy from anywhere in the world, listen carefully: DO NOT move to this town. I repeat, DO NOT move here.

Unless you've been offered a job here where you'll make AT LEAST 100k/year, please do yourself an enormous favour and stay where you are. The grass is greener where you are. I will so enjoy the day all these women grow old and lonely living with their cats desperate for male attention. I have no sympathy for the female gender in this town. No compassion, no mercy, no consideration of any kind. Toronto is the living breathing mind of "all men are evil" feminist extremism. You will NOT meet the love of your life here. There are no soul mates here. There are no love stories. Women do NOT give a damn about true love or romance here. They look at you with scorn and hatred in their eyes on a daily basis. They will see you as just another loser no matter what you say or do. And if you have money, you're a still a loser, but a useful one. Women will date you ONLY if doing so will make their girlfriends jealous, not because they genuinely like you, and if you ever stop providing them with material wealth they think they’re so entitled to, they'll dump you immediately. TV is their only school on relationships thus unrealistic expectations are the norm here.

Women in this city are the pretentious kind that leaves other towns in order to "hit it big" either career-wise or rich husband-wise. The real problem is that all the bad apples are concentrated here. Do not generalize. Not all Canadian women are like Toronto women. To all men who are lonely here: My friend, it's not your fault. But your case is hopeless. It will not get better. Either accept it or leave. Remember not all of Canadian women are like this. The good down to earth ones stay in their little towns. I should know, when I first landed in Toronto I was polite and called them “miss” and now I see women as little devils walking around releasing poison onto everything they can possibly contaminate with their hatred. When you're surrounded by rude unhappy people, you will become rude and unhappy too eventually.

I have no desire to become successful in this city. Not because I lack ambition, but because I am not looking forward to impressing any of these girls. I do not care about them and just the act of trying to impress these shallow creatures would lower me. What's life and money and success good for if you can't share it with anyone with a healthy mind ? You’re telling me no matter how much I succeed my partner is still going to hate me just for being born a man ? Are you kidding me ? Are you out of your god damn mind ? Do you poop roses or gold, sunshine ?

Please, men of Toronto, have some dignity, some self-respect, some honour, just a tiny bit, you know, just a tiny little bit might be good. Nothing you were told was true. You are not a natural born rapist, or a sadist, or a creature with inborn violent tendencies. What men have is the natural coding of being born into a violent world where animals eat other animals and humans have had for thousands of years to survive through violent means as the only means of survival. But women love to forget history, how they ran to us for protection up to approximately one hundred years ago, or maybe they never studied it, they were too busy sitting at a Starbucks bashing men in their little groups.

Toronto women live in a bubble, sheltered, overprotected from reality by one of the best paid police forces in the world. And by the way, how do these women thank those men for protecting them from the real bad world ? They create the Slutwalk.

To be honest, I am so not surprised something as fascist and misguided as the Slutwalk was born in Toronto. This city screams “Death to the Male gender” through its every pore. The visceral hatred and scorn felt in this town towards men is quite unique. It’s like all the men-hating entities of North America moved here.

Even big girls hate you. Only in this city have I met fat girls who've told me they became fat by choice because they hated men so much they didn't "want to conform to the stereotypes of beauty". Jesuschrist, how much dumber more misguided lost soul can you be ?

In conclusion, even though Toronto can be a great city for many reasons, such as plenty of career opportunities, it is a terrible place to meet a partner and have a meaningful social life. Move here once you have a trustworthy partner. Life can be good.

But if you’re single...

Two things you must know:

1) There's nothing wrong with you. If there's anything gone horribly wrong in this city, it's the women.

2) Before you betray yourself, and sell your dignity, your self-respect, and give away half your money to an unappreciative ungrateful bitch.

At least once, just at least once, before you get married:

TRAVEL OUTSIDE THE CITY.

A woman is attractive by much more than her looks. And after you’ve seen other parts of the world... Trust me, you will never ever find a Toronto woman attractive ever again.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

So How Do People Meet Anyway?

I talked about this a lot in my other post The clique culture. Basically, the overwhelming majority of couples in the city are a result of meeting through school, work, or friends. The big three. These are the socially accepted channels through which you can best hope to meet someone. If you aren't connected through any of these channels, you pretty much have no alternative other than what I call "fringe game". Fringe game is just a catchy umbrella term I am using to describe the mechanism a man in this city must use to meet women who are not a part of the big three. It can be either the internet, high volume cold approaches in public venues, or just pure fucking luck where a woman metaphorically "trips" and falls into your arms.

Naturally, fringe game is usually treated as beyond the pale since it falls outside agreed upon social standards where you have to meet through a network of your peers, as loosely connected and fake as that network may be. But actually, internet meeting is the most socially accepted of the fringe strategies a man has at his disposal, since it is at least advertised in a somewhat positive light in the eyes of the public. Just look at the subway advertisements and chances are you will see Lavalife plastered on one of them.

Whenever I used to see an obvious boyfriend and girlfriend walking around, I would wonder how they met. I thought that chances are good that the guy has got some good game and maybe picked her up in a club somewhere. But through experience and wisdom gained I realized that most certainly they met through either school, work, or friends. And in fact, if the girl is a young, hot, twenty-something it is virtually 100% certain that she met the guy through her social network, and probably at a young age too, like when she was still in high school. Young attractive girls who are not very picky get snapped up very early, and they are only snapped up by guys in their immediate social network. This means that the remaining single, yet picky females form the pool of women which single guys have to choose from. But even within their social network these women are difficult to get with, and meeting them in public compounds the level of difficulty. This leaves only the internet, since to be on a dating site there must be at least a ghost of a chance you want to meet someone from online. So that strips away one level of difficulty. But unfortunately, the internet is also a catch basin for some of the pickiest females who can't meet someone through the socially accepted means (the big three). These females, frustrated with a lack of "good men" in their social circle, resort to the internet in hopes of finding their prince. Fortunately, you can always pick out (and avoid) the profiles of these women since they are the most romantic sounding, containing buzz phrases such as: "want chemistry", "want to experience passion", or whatever other bullet list they manage to come up with.

In fact, I never, ever hook up with these women. I only hook up with women from online who write simple direct profiles which don't drip with romantic bullshit. Furthermore, I never hook up with women who are looking for anything in particular (unless it's sex). It's the women who look for boyfriends and something "genuine" and "real" that I have a very hard time meeting, and if I do, it's a crap-fest anyway. This is one main reason why I restrict myself to only offering new women sex, since I am almost never good enough to be the boyfriend (again, working from the picky pool of single women I have to work with). You see, sex is just one thing, which I can deliver. But the boyfriend role has many expectations that go with it, and quite a bit of bullshit to boot. So as a result, whenever I meet someone new it's only ever as a sex prospect.

It might seem like I'm taking an overly extreme position by screening for 100% sex. But Toronto women force you to take extremes. For example, if you said you were looking for something between a casual and serious relationship, the women will try to push you towards the serious relationship end of the spectrum (along with all the bullshit that goes with that). So if you give them even the possibility of an opening they will try to take it, hence the reason why I have to take the extreme position that I do.

However, if by chance she is nice enough then more can develop, and it will be much more REAL. But I never start off with the possibility of "more" because it always invites the scheming types.

By the way, when women say they want something "real" and "genuine" in their internet profile, they actually mean something that is socially stamped as such, such as dating, dinner, waiting for sex, and whatever other relationship stipulations this society tells women they deserve and as such should demand from a mate.

But like I said, I reject such fake bullshit, and I therefore never, ever start off as anything but the sex prospect, because if I do it usually never goes anywhere (meaning I am not her type). And the few times where it can, it does so in a direction I don't like, with fake courtship rituals or other market-value related bullshit where I have to pay to play, but at the same time not look like I'm doing that.

Also, it's easier for me to meet an attractive woman for sex than as a prospective boyfriend, again because sex is just one thing, but a boyfriend must be many things.

There is another interesting facet of the whole meeting dynamic that is worth exploring. This is the complaint both men and women often have that the people they meet who they like don't want to see them again, and the people who they don't like want to see them again. Why is this happening?

Since women here generally have an inflated sense of their own attractiveness and what they deserve, they usually end up going for guys that are actually more physically attractive than them. So it makes sense that in this instance the men don't want to see them again, since they sense the discrepancy and justifiably feel they deserve more. And this explains the complaint women have where they say that when they meet someone they like (someone who is more attractive than them), that person doesn't like them back.

Now, when women complain that when they don't like the guy, but the guy likes them, it's more commonly because the guy is closer to the woman's own level of physical attractiveness, but because of her own inflated sense of attractiveness she sees him as not good enough.

Guys are more reasonable in their expectations. So when guys complain that when they like a girl, that girl doesn't like them, it's more commonly because the girl is closer to his own attractiveness, which justifiably explains why the guys are surprised and frustrated. But when guys complain that when they don't like the girl, but she likes them, it's more commonly because the girl is significantly below the guy's own attractiveness and she's just overshooting what she thinks she deserves.

This means that women more often reject men closer to their own actual level of attractiveness, and men more often accept women closer to their own level of attractiveness. But hook ups can only happen when both parties like each other, so the end result is that less attractive women hook up with more attractive men more commonly than the reverse situation, since women tend to stick to their guns more than men and are willing to go for YEARS without sex until they meet the man who doesn't mind going out with a woman less attractive than him. They can hold out for the overshoot more than men can resist the undershoot.

So it looks like the man is getting a raw deal, which is true, but only if he's monogamous. The way I see it, I don't mind being with a woman who is not quite as attractive as me, as long as I can still be with other women. To me, that's the equalizer in what appears to be an unfair situation where men are concerned.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Why Is The Male/Female Dynamic So Skewed?

I think the best starting point for this discussion is to imagine yourself (a man) being in a place surrounded by attractive women with none of them approaching you or giving you signals of interest. If this continues you will either say "screw it" and not bother trying at all, or you will start approaching the women yourself and try to make things happen that way.

In fact, this is the default situation for men in this society. Women (those who are at least somewhat attractive) will almost always do nothing to meet men, and men, faced with this reality, buck up and make almost all the effort to meet women.

Now look at this from the other side. If you're a woman who is at least somewhat attractive, men will approach you and make you dating/sexual offers on a pretty regular basis. So you will have no motivation to do anything proactively since opportunities are handed to you. And if you're in situations/places where men are not regularly approaching you and making you dating/sexual offers it's because you are preemptively rejecting them through your body language. After all, men are greatly encouraged to pursue women and when they don't it's because the women are standoffish to the point that the men don't even try.

The dynamic is self-reinforcing. Men pursue women because women do almost nothing to meet men or make it easy for them. And the women don't pursue because they don't want to labeled as easy and because they are accustomed to men doing the pursuing anyway. There are just too many men pursuing too much for this dynamic to ever change. If most men all of a sudden were to hold back then women will be forced to do more of their share. In fact, the more men chase, the more women can afford to do nothing, which men pick up on and which creates an even bigger push for men to pursue. It's basically a positive feedback, a self-sustaining system, which starts from something less extreme, but which gradually snowballs into the great imbalance that exists right now.

Think of it this way. Let's say I'm your business partner and you're more ambitious than I am. I can do less work and you will take up the slack, and the less work I do the more work you have to do to compensate because you want the business to succeed and you NEED me as your partner because I have something you want which you cannot produce yourself. This is the way it is with women. Women slack off when it comes to meeting men and men take up the slack because they WANT women and what they provide (female company and sex), and this is enforced by cultural norms. This culture tips the scale in the direction of men doing more and women doing less, which becomes the slippery slope which we now know as men doing too much and women doing too little, due to the effect of cultural conditioning and positive feedback which pulls even more men into the loop.

Here's a thought experiment. Imagine a hot woman who is used to being approached all the time by men and who never does any approaching herself. Imagine if this woman were suddenly placed in a culture where the reverse dynamic takes place, in which women habitually approach men and men rarely approach women. This women would suddenly find herself dateless, and unless she were to start approaching men herself she will remain so. In fact, you can bet that after enough time has passed this woman will eventually start approaching men herself. The dynamic is stacked against her and she has no other choice but to play along.

This hypothetical situation lends support to the positive feedback theory I mentioned. If there are enough people in an environment enforcing a certain dynamic, that dynamic will continue unhindered and draw in new enforcers (who will miss out if they don't play along). However, if there aren't enough people enforcing a certain dynamic then that dynamic will never take off and it will never become a noticeable part of the culture. Hence, to create a social dynamic (like the one I talk about), you need a minimum number of enforcers of that dynamic, and to diminish a dynamic you obviously need to remove the number of enforcers of that dynamic.

A culture can condition its citizens to be enforcers of a certain dynamic, and once a critical number of enforcers is reached that dynamic becomes self-perpetuating. It is only when the society-wide harm done by this dynamic becomes so intolerable (relative to any gains), that large numbers of people start to forcibly take themselves out of the loop. In other words, these people recognize that any gains they receive by enforcing the dynamic (playing along) are no longer worth the misery that goes with it. As a result, they stop being enforcers and the dynamic begins to shift.

Consequently, the only solution is for men to start collectively doing less where women are concerned, and start expecting women to be more proactive. This is one of those situations where a few independent minded individuals won't make any difference in the collective female behaviour. As such, the only real power an individual has is to refuse to play the game and to operate on the fringes of what works, such as by selecting only for those few females that aren't part of the collective bad batch.

But if we want women to start acting better as a whole, then men as a group have to start acting in accordance with that wish. In other words, we have to collectively exert selective pressure on women to force them to change, and if they don't, weed them out. And this in turn becomes selective pressure of the biological kind in which their "bad behaviour genes" don't make it to the next generation.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

What If The Situation Was Reversed And Men Were Unapproachable?

What if the situation was reversed and men were the ones who were opposed to meeting women in public? What kind of excuses would men use to avoid meeting women in public? Using the same excuse format women use, along with exaggerated statistics and focusing on the negative, I came up with a hypothetical excuse list that men would use:

• When I'm out somewhere I'm too busy to make small talk with some chick who wants to chat. I got better things to do than hook up with some random slut. For all I know she's on the rebound and she's got some jealous ex lurking around the corner. I don't need the trouble!

• I'm just protecting myself from bitches and gold diggers who only care about my wallet. Just because I dress well and look good in a suit that doesn't mean I automatically want to take some chick out to an expensive dinner.

• I just don't want to deal with some chick who maybe has kids and is looking for a father who also doubles as Mr. Money Bags. You hear so many stories of men being taken to the cleaners in a divorce, or men being wrongfully charged with sexual assault. How do I know that the minute sex is over she won't call the cops and file a phony rape charge? I'm just protecting my interests.

• I've had plenty of bad experiences with women and their cockblocking friends, women who pretend to like you just to get free drinks, and women who just think they are all that. So if I come across as unapproachable to some chick I think I've earned that right.

Looking at the above ridiculous list you can see that there is not much difference between it and the excuses women currently use to avoid meeting men in public. It's a matter of bias and what you choose to focus on. Also enlightening is the fact that there are many more female gold diggers than male rapists but you don't hear men using that as an excuse to not meet women.

The fact is that men are very aware of the odds against them based on direct feedback from unapproachable females, but are still much more willing to APPROACH ANYWAY, at least until the reality finally hits them that it's a total waste of time and energy. But women, on the other hand, are risk averse and mostly rely on hearsay and whatever bad things they heard about men in the media to avoid meeting them, such as exaggerated rape statistics disseminated by the liberal media. But even given this very small (yet non-zero) risk why not just meet the guy in a public place and assess first hand what he is like, rather than exclude ALL possibility of anything happening by refusing to even take a chance in BROAD DAYLIGHT to go out with him. It's like refusing to go to a job interview because there's a chance the employer could turn out to be a sexual harasser. But in this cold economic-centric city jobs are naturally spun in a positive light so it's a non issue.

Furthermore, women in this city are very intolerant of male behaviour that is considered acceptable in other (less feminized) parts of the world. For example, looking at women here would be labeled as lewd staring. Incidental touching, like on a crowded subway, would be considered groping. And the occasional rude behaviour from a stranger man would be proof definite that all stranger men must be treated as potential perverts and avoided at all cost. You would think women here would learn to be socially astute so that they can differentiate the good from the bad. It's called life skills. But they have no interest in actively learning how to pick out the good from the bad where men are concerned, and instead prefer the one size fits all, throw the baby out with the bathwater approach to men and dating. And in spite of all this, women still tell guys that they should continue to carry themselves as gentlemen and keep trying to meet women, while at the same time not doing anything themselves to make it any easier for men. It's completely retarded and a form of mental illness, not that different from the tea-party rhetoric in crazy-town USA.

But anyway, I don't really have much more to say on this topic. This is my 100th post and I've said plenty already on this blog. Toronto women, at least the ones who are at least somewhat attractive, are not worth the effort to try and meet out in public. They're past the point of no-return on the delusion scale. So go out of town if you want to meet better women, or better yet go abroad to get a real feel for what real women are like, women who focus more on the positive aspects of men rather than the negative.

Related Post: Common Obstacles To Meeting Women In Public