Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Relationship, Inc.

Most women in this culture approach relationships like a business, a for-profit business. And just like in a business they demand long hours, hard work, and unwavering company loyalty. This tyrannical view that women have towards relationships is responsible for much of the friction that couples experience.

Women basically treat relationships as a third party, or separate entity, which is distinct from her and the man. Demands are typically made by the woman on behalf of the relationship (which happens to coincide with her personal demands). And if things don't go her way, the integrity of the relationship is always brought into question. For example, if you can't spend time with her that weekend she will get upset because you are ignoring the needs of the "relationship". But make no mistake, only she can decide what the relationship needs, not you. She is the CEO after all, and you are nothing but the worker drone.

Many women are cold calculators when they are on the hunt for relationships. Their sense of fun and carefreeness completely vanishes when they have this goal in mind. Things become regimented and take on a certain cold corporate chill, like an overbearing supervisor who is keeping his eye on you in case you fuck up.

Just like a corporation, relationships are constantly hungry. They must always be fed. Feed me asshole! Feed me! Feed me! Sustenance typically comes in the form of constant "I love you", obscenely long phone conversations and time commitments, going to exotic places, and the constant buying and paying of shit.

Relationships in this culture are monsters, and the women in this culture are equally monstrous when it comes to their upkeep. They are constantly checking the "pulse" of the relationship like a neurotic doctor, and analyzing all the stupid shit imaginable to see if anything is a bit off.

Needless to say, women here take relationships VERY seriously, almost as seriously as marriage, at which point you completely sign away your soul and become the workhorse of the business, with no chance of escaping unscathed. When you sign up for Marriage, Inc. you can no longer just leave the "company" and start new. You will most certainly have to give up half your shit to the company coffers.

The institution of Marriage, Inc. is simply an extension of Relationship, Inc. with these additional points:

• For many women getting married is all about the wedding and not the marriage.

• She runs a high risk of being unsatisfied and you being made out to be inadequate no matter how much you do and how little she does. And society will always frame you as the "loser" who didn't measure up.

• She becomes "the boss" of the household, both as a joke among peers, and as a matter of how she acts towards you.

• People will usually hear her side of the story in which you're an asshole and she is the victim, and the reason people don't hear your side of the story is because you're too busy working or no one cares what you think. Funny isn't it?

• Sex becomes a reward for your good behaviour and by withholding it, a punishment for your bad behaviour.

• The marriage becomes in many ways like the marriage on Everybody Loves Raymond. He's the idiot who begs for sex and she's the queen bitch who never smiles.

• If you get divorced there is a high chance she will get half your stuff and primary custody of the kids (if there are any), and god forbid you can't make the alimony payments.

• As her resentment towards you grows a divorce becomes very likely, and this is where things really get interesting. The law is biased in her favor, so there is a high chance she will get half your stuff and primary custody of the kids (if there are any), and you'll be saddled with alimony payments to boot. If there's kids she might make a false accusation that you physically assaulted her in order to make you come across as an "unfit parent" to help guarantee that she gets primary custody of the kids. She will also likely try to poison the minds of your children against you, as part of her greater overall strategy to get back at you for not living up to her expectations.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

That was brilliant! It sums up exactly what most western women expect out of a relationship. I am not in Toronto, but I am in Canada which is bad enough. I have had it up to here with western women here and am currently selling all my stuff so I can move to south East Asia and escape the frozen feminist wasteland called Canada.

Halon said...

Once again, you hit the nail on the head.