Sunday, December 20, 2009

Identifying The Good Bars And Clubs

There is a simple way to determine which bars and clubs are good for meeting women.

It's a simple test you can perform while at the place. Think of it as an assessment. It involves two basic steps, in order.

The first step is to be in passive mode and just enjoy the scenery. Keep your body language relaxed and open, and move around so you're as visible as possible. You can have a drink as you're doing so, as that can make it easier. As you're doing this observe what the women are doing around you. Are they giving you eye contact? Are they subtly positioning themselves near you, perhaps facing you? Are they giving you approach invitations by way of eye contact and open body language? If the answer to either of these questions is yes, then you have something to work with.

Alternatively:

Are the women staying away? Or are they giving you mixed signals, in which they stand near you but are also facing away (e.g. backs faced towards you)? If the answer to either of these two questions is yes, then you have nothing to work with. The basic rule here is that No means No, and Maybe means No. The first case is an obvious no, and the second case is mixed, but is effectively no as well. Most likely this means that they dig the way you look and move closer as a result, but because they don't have the Will to do something about it, they keep themselves turned away.

However, if you are experiencing these situations it's not necessarily a lost cause. There is one more thing you can do to test the waters; kind of like a final acid test.

Start doing some approaching. Radiate a positive energy while doing so. It can help to have friends with you as this can boost your attractiveness a bit. This is active mode. Start talking to women, including those who might be giving you mixed signals, and those who are giving you no signals at all. This is your attempt to "unfreeze" the situation. If there are positive results from that (beyond just polite conversation), great, and if not then unfortunately the place you are at is a dud, and you should waste no more time there. You can still hang out there if you want, but in terms of meeting women the place is useless to you, at least that night. And of course, if the place is always like that, then it's useless to you all the time. Some places are like that, whereas other places only suck once in a while.

What it comes down to is this basic principle:

If the women aren't giving you anything to work with it's a dead end, and it's pointless to make further efforts. Now, it's certainly possible that you might get something (perhaps a scrap or two) if you work the situation persistently enough. But if you want to have at least a semi-enjoyable experience and not feel like you're pulling teeth, then you're at the wrong fucking place.

In fact, I would even take this one step further and say that if no woman approaches you or smiles at you on her initiative while you are in passive mode, then it's a lost cause Period, and there's no point even going into active mode, because the obstacles will be the same. Consider the following reason for this:

If no woman approaches you or gives you strong signals of interest, that tells you the women there are closed off to being approached themselves, for if they wanted to be approached there would at least be instances, on occasion, where they would refuse to wait around and "take matters into their own hands" (or at the very least make it very easy for men to talk to them). But if this doesn't happen then it is safe to assume that it's a waste of time to approach the women there. So choose your venues wisely. The only good places for meeting women are those places in which the women put some effort into meeting men.

So how long does it take to figure out what places are good or bad? From personal experience I find it takes about half an hour to an hour, and even that is probably being generous. The bottom line is, you can figure out what the deal is pretty quickly. No need to tough it out all night. The herd always speaks loud and early.

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