Sunday, December 20, 2009

Identifying The Good Bars And Clubs

There is a simple way to determine which bars and clubs are good for meeting women.

It's a simple test you can perform while at the place. Think of it as an assessment. It involves two basic steps, in order.

The first step is to be in passive mode and just enjoy the scenery. Keep your body language relaxed and open, and move around so you're as visible as possible. You can have a drink as you're doing so, as that can make it easier. As you're doing this observe what the women are doing around you. Are they giving you eye contact? Are they subtly positioning themselves near you, perhaps facing you? Are they giving you approach invitations by way of eye contact and open body language? If the answer to either of these questions is yes, then you have something to work with.

Alternatively:

Are the women staying away? Or are they giving you mixed signals, in which they stand near you but are also facing away (e.g. backs faced towards you)? If the answer to either of these two questions is yes, then you have nothing to work with. The basic rule here is that No means No, and Maybe means No. The first case is an obvious no, and the second case is mixed, but is effectively no as well. Most likely this means that they dig the way you look and move closer as a result, but because they don't have the Will to do something about it, they keep themselves turned away.

However, if you are experiencing these situations it's not necessarily a lost cause. There is one more thing you can do to test the waters; kind of like a final acid test.

Start doing some approaching. Radiate a positive energy while doing so. It can help to have friends with you as this can boost your attractiveness a bit. This is active mode. Start talking to women, including those who might be giving you mixed signals, and those who are giving you no signals at all. This is your attempt to "unfreeze" the situation. If there are positive results from that (beyond just polite conversation), great, and if not then unfortunately the place you are at is a dud, and you should waste no more time there. You can still hang out there if you want, but in terms of meeting women the place is useless to you, at least that night. And of course, if the place is always like that, then it's useless to you all the time. Some places are like that, whereas other places only suck once in a while.

What it comes down to is this basic principle:

If the women aren't giving you anything to work with it's a dead end, and it's pointless to make further efforts. Now, it's certainly possible that you might get something (perhaps a scrap or two) if you work the situation persistently enough. But if you want to have at least a semi-enjoyable experience and not feel like you're pulling teeth, then you're at the wrong fucking place.

In fact, I would even take this one step further and say that if no woman approaches you or smiles at you on her initiative while you are in passive mode, then it's a lost cause Period, and there's no point even going into active mode, because the obstacles will be the same. Consider the following reason for this:

If no woman approaches you or gives you strong signals of interest, that tells you the women there are closed off to being approached themselves, for if they wanted to be approached there would at least be instances, on occasion, where they would refuse to wait around and "take matters into their own hands" (or at the very least make it very easy for men to talk to them). But if this doesn't happen then it is safe to assume that it's a waste of time to approach the women there. So choose your venues wisely. The only good places for meeting women are those places in which the women put some effort into meeting men.

So how long does it take to figure out what places are good or bad? From personal experience I find it takes about half an hour to an hour, and even that is probably being generous. The bottom line is, you can figure out what the deal is pretty quickly. No need to tough it out all night. The herd always speaks loud and early.

Friday, December 18, 2009

The Transition

With the new year just around the corner there comes the promise of change, and a chance to reflect on the past year and the years before that.

It's a time for optimism and also a time to move on to greener pastures. That time, where women are concerned, has arrived for me.

I wrote once before that the time will probably come when I blacklist women from certain parts. I am almost at that point. There are just a few more details to sort out in the months ahead before I commit to a course of action that will address the circumstances I presently face. This is not a one-size-fits-all solution I propose, but more something that is well adapted to my particular set of circumstances. After all, it is important to become a master of your circumstances.

And it's not a question of not being able to get laid no matter what. It's a question of what I'm willing to put up with in order to get laid. The answer to that is, not a heckuva lot. Looking back I've certainly had my share of experiences, but I am completely unwilling to go through the same old bullshit (or even a fraction of it) for sub-par companionship.

The pattern has always been: Easy in the beginning = great time and great sex, whereas, Lots of game plus effort = shitty women and equally shitty sex. The times I was at the so-called height of my PUA game I hooked up with crappy women. The techniques were themselves skillfully played out, but the end product was very lacking. And the reason for this is because "game" only works on women who are operating at lower levels of consciousness. The same way you can get a heroin addict to suck your dick for the promise of a hit, you can get shallow, animalistic women into your bed with the promise of validation. And of course, the techniques used to do this are praised by the PUA community because they tend to work on the hottest girls. And there is some truth to that if you consider the hottest girls to be the ones who spend the most time and effort looking good. Then it is only natural that a creature of artificially enhanced beauty can be "obtained" by raising doubts about the very beauty she worked so hard to create. So you are using artificial methods to get artificial women and then passing that off as a genuine accomplishment.

But why work so hard to land an illusion? And then work at least as hard to keep it? Artificially enhanced women are very high maintenance, after all.

The problem, as I see it, is that men's sex drive tends to cloud their judgment if they are not careful. And with the modern age of cosmetics and fashion, men's judgment can be clouded well beyond natural limits. Makeup and sexy clothes can really do a number on a man's head, for the simple reason that these things are beauty enhancers which make women more attractive than they actually are. This is one major reason why so many men act so needy for pussy. Our sexual sensory input is overloaded.

The cruel joke, however, is that men in general have difficulty in getting sex on a level proportional to the amount of sexual stimulation we are exposed to. You can't even login to your web-based email account without occasionally seeing an ad with an attractive woman displayed on it. You can't go into a convenience store without seeing scantily clad women on the cover of magazines.

But the good news is that, in large part, this is all an illusion that will collapse like a house of cards the moment any logical thought that questions it, comes up. Logic is a necessary reality check when the feeling of sexual sensory overload arises.

The bad news is that, genuine connections between men and woman suffer as a result. Men are forced to pay dearly for the cost of the illusion that women have created for themselves at the sacrificial altar known as the makeup counter (among other things).

The problem is, every bitch that spends serious time and dime on looking good thinks she is owed oh so much and deserves the very best. Now, there's a difference between a woman who spends some time on looking pretty in order to better attract men, and a bitch who makes it her life work to look hot with the expectation that she will get special treatment as a result. Makeup and attitude go together like peanut butter and jam. And prostitution, covert and overt, is usually not far behind. With the application of foundation, lip-gloss, mascara, and maybe a boob job, it is only natural that a woman feels the price of her pussy should go up as a result. With most women it would never cross their minds to think they are prostitutes for doing this, but the bottom line is that when it comes to sex they will only give it up to the highest bidder.

It's important to make the distinction between the women who enhance their beauty in order to better attract a man, and the women who do so to get the finer things in life. Ask yourself this: Does she look like a woman who genuinely wants someone to talk to her, or does she look like a stone-faced gatekeeper? The latter we have all seen and recognize. It's the kind of bitch you see in clubs, particularly upscale ones; that has a certain air of superiority when she looks at men (if she looks at them at all). And most men, with their judgment clouded by her artificial beauty, never question the sincerity of her motives. All they see is hot tits and ass with no hope in hell of getting it (cheaply, that is).

Thankfully I am on the verge of forever taking myself out of this kind of market; the kind of market that charges Ferrari prices for beat up Ford Escorts.

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. And I no longer wish to be insane, in anything where women are concerned. I've made a lot of progress over the years, from quitting the PUA shit, to focusing much more on my life, to where I am now. But I need to take another, perhaps final, step. And that is to completely blacklist women who fit certain criteria. This includes not even trying to sift through the dirt to find the gems. There has got to be as much detachment as possible from the typical bitches I seem to have grown very allergic to. Keep them out of my sight and off my radar as much as possible. These are the garbage women who do not even know they are garbage, and that is the worst kind!

But I have to be careful to not weed out the few good ones out there. So, like a good real-estate agent I have to put extra emphasis on location like I never have before. Gone are the days when I would tough out a place in hopes that maybe, just maybe, some bitch will throw a bone my way. From now on I walk in, look around, have a few conversations, make myself visible, smile etc. and if the fish aren't biting I leave early. And this goes double if I see an excess of stone-faced gatekeepers (since I have become quite allergic to them).

Online game, I feel, will become more and more a staple of how I meet women. It used to be that the ratio would be about 50/50, for women I meet from the internet and women I meet out in public. But gradually, that ratio has shifted towards online. I was puzzled why this is at first, especially here where I live where the internet has become very popular for meeting people. But then it hit me that the reason is because it's so tough here to meet women in public gatherings (like bars/clubs, the mall, various daytime venues, etc.). Online dating is simply filling a very real void.

It is highly stupid that women would hold all kinds of prejudices towards meeting people in the most reasonable of places; the only places they can meet people who aren't part of their social group. But nope, stone-faced gatekeepers are also stupid, taking rumor and gossip for reality, and consistently shutting themselves out of good opportunities because of where those opportunities take place. So if I win the fucking lottery in a bar I can't accept it because it's a bar... and I don't like those places. Yeah right.

In short, meeting women from online is a necessity for me but only because women here seem to be more and more closed off to meeting in public places. It's either that or I've just become increasingly intolerant of the bullshit. It's probably a combination of both.

But take heart if online dating doesn't work for you. Remember that the ease at which you can meet women from online is somewhat proportional to how difficult it is to meet women offline. In some places, online dating is probably unheard of just because the women are friendly and receptive when out in public. But in good 'ol Ontario, Canada, this is a different story. Ya gotta be a master of your circumstances.

But don't be fooled. Online dating is fraught with garbage women. It's just that the few good ones will rise to the surface much more easily on the internet, much the same way a newspaper ad can reach thousands of potential candidates much more efficiently than individual interviews can.

Also keep in mind that women on internet personals are looking for something they aren't finding in real life. Kind of obvious, BUT there are two very important distinctions to make from this. Let's call these distinctions categories one and two. The first category of woman is one who is eternally single, and is approached all the time when she goes out, but due to high levels of narcissism no man can ever measure up. These women are basically standing in their own way. In fact, it's pretty common to see an uptight cock-blocking bitch who is a club regular post a personal ad.

The second category of woman (the one you should focus on) is one who genuinely can't find someone who is her match in real life, not due to narcissism but due to valid circumstances. She might not like bars/clubs, or maybe she lives in a small town and there are few good men there, or maybe she is so damn different from other women that she has to resort to the personals to meet the man who is as unique as her. To meet these latter types of women you have to be very honest and direct in your profile. You have to know who you are and communicate it forcefully. This is the type of woman I hook up with.

The good news is that there are always women in this second category who use the personal ads. The bad news is that there are only a few of them at any one time. This leads me to the next point.

You must be willing to travel to different cities (not necessarily far away) to meet these category two women. I figure that every reasonably sized town/city has at least a few of these types of women trolling the personals, who may be a match for you. And every few months some new ones sign up.

However, you will quickly exhaust the "potential" of one locale. This is why you have to travel, in order to keep the hook ups going. Spread your net. You can be in town "on business" or whatever. This also allows you to see some different places, which is always a good thing. And it's also possible in some of the better cities to score offline hook ups in the usual public gatherings, using your "traveler" status as a sort of aphrodisiac. Where are some good places in town? is a good way to start a conversation.

So, how do you establish contact with these women on the personals?

You don't. You let them contact you first. There's far too many category one social rejects for you to filter through if you are the one doing the messaging, and it will only piss you off! So make life as easy as possible for yourself and let the women message you first. This is also a good filter since the category one women never message first. Their sense of entitlement strictly prohibits it.

There is also the following reason why it's better to let the women message you first: When a woman reaches out to you first she is more likely to say "yes" because she is looking for reasons to prove that she was right in picking you. But when you reach out to a woman first she is more likely to say "no" because she is looking for reasons to prove you are just like the rest of the guys who message her (i.e. not good enough). This subjectivity in how women use the personals practically demands that you never message a woman first. Such a Pavlovian response is typical in the modern, animalistic western female.

So, never message the women first. Let them message you first, and as a result the messages you receive will usually be from the category twos. The cream of the crop.

After a few weeks or months you'll stop receiving messages and things will dry up in your city of focus. At this point you can move on to the next city (simply change the city listed in your ad). Keep repeating this. Then after maybe 6 months to a year, you can start fresh with the first city you started in (since there will be a fresh batch of women). This is only a guideline of course, as there are no magic bullets here. But the key to all this is the FIND part. You don't fix, tolerate, or adapt. You FIND the ones who are right for you with as little effort as possible. And location is extremely important for this.

Some might think it's stupid to do this given that there are so many women walking around pretty much everywhere. Well, all I can say is that extreme circumstances require extreme solutions. The current situation is as real as it is surprising. The society of modern women is like an army of well-trained soldiers who are taught to act against your best interests. But you are not interested in these "soldier women". You are interested in the outcasts, the free thinkers, the rebel soldiers.

And to do this, you must focus on the Find.