Wednesday, September 9, 2009

I'm Better Than Her

I'm better than her because I am approaching.

But I approach to see what she's like, not because I want to get with her. I have to find out what she's like first. So my mind isn't made up one way, or the other.

I approach and engage her in conversation, and if she doesn't hook relatively soon I move on. I don't think about what I could have done differently. Experience has taught me that all you can really do to engage someone is talk to them normally, and see if they will engage back.

The hard part can be knowing when you've done enough. The temptation is, if you talk to a bunch of girls and they don't respond well, you need to "up" your game. IOW it's your fault, so you need to ratchet up your efforts. That's a trap, and it's easy to fall into because there are so many socially repressed women. So it's easy to feel that the weight of evidence is stacked against you. But in reality, that's not the case.

Take me for example. I know from experience that I live in an antisocial area and I'm one of the select few that are approaching. This is a direct observation, and not a figment of my imagination. So from that perspective, the problem isn't mine. Furthermore, when I talk to girls, I talk to them the same way I would as if I met them through friends, or in other equally intimate settings. But in these settings they are generally much more receptive. But when I'm a stranger in public they are not nearly as friendly, in general. So when I consider both these factors I know it's not my fault. It's the fault of the women who are biased against meeting a stranger in public. It's the fault of the women who behave like herds of sheep when out in public.

But nonetheless, approaching can be therapeutic. Just socializing in general can be therapeutic, even with antisocial types. This is because you're not letting yourself stagnate. You are not letting yourself get trapped inside your head. And as an added plus, you are the better person because you are more social. And as long as you're just having fun, it doesn't matter much if they don't engage you back. I'm driving my convertible with the top down and even if no chick gets in with me, so what. I'm still driving my convertible with the top down.

Clearly, my views are very different from those in the seduction community, which usually lays blame at the feet of men. I disagree that it's usually men's fault, simply because there exists no equivalent community for women. So it makes no sense for men to carry the burden of getting it right, when women aren't trying nearly as hard.

According to the seduction community, if the girl doesn't respond well it's my fault. Um no. Maybe at one time I had a role to play in that, but at this stage I have accumulated enough acumen, so the problem is not mine. It's usually theirs. It's not arrogance. It's a fact. But who knows, maybe there is a way to get her, but usually that involves identity level personality (or appearance) changes, the kind the seduction community encourages. But that totally takes the fun away from approaching and socializing. If I have to neg, then I'm no longer socializing, I'm scheming, and that sucks the life out of the situation (and me). I simply cannot do it, and I have tried. But I cannot. I can only talk like I normally do and see if she is worth it for me. However, in some cases it may be that she secretly likes me but is too timid to show it. So what. She played her hand badly and I moved on. As far as I'm concerned I'm a walking lottery ticket and any girl who doesn't snatch it up with enthusiasm, it's her loss.

Like I said, I will approach, but not with the mindset of getting girls, but to have fun and screen. I approach with the mindset of enjoying myself and also seeing what she's like. I might structure my initial approach to be as smooth and natural as possible, but that's just a normal social calibration, the same way you wouldn't jump on a customer to make a sale. And once the conversation begins I am monitoring her reactions to see if she digs me, and at all times I am weighing that against my own efforts, and if I see that I am not getting a good response relatively soon I move on.

And if she is digging me I then do another check. I check to see if she wants the same kind of relationship as me. And if she matches that criteria, I'll go for the close.

But she has to warm up to me first, which essentially means she's attracted to me and isn't hiding it. Nothing happens without that.

Now, there are things you can do to help her warm up to you a bit better, from the beginning, but that comes from the social pre-calibration, to avoid setting off stalker alarms or whatever; like getting her to notice you first, or maybe by way of her seeing me hanging out with buddies and being popular. BUT if at the point I am chatting with her she does not engage me back, I move on. She had her chance, and the more work I have to put in the less I get out. Less is always more where women are concerned. The more effort you put into getting with her the less you get out, so the ROI drops off really fast if she doesn't open up real soon. This is because, when a woman is difficult it's because she has issues, or she doesn’t like you. This is unlike a legitimate challenge where you have an honest payoff after you put in the effort. So difficulty with a woman is never a sign of something good.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Thank you! thank you! thank you! i feel like this is what i was missing from a the time I was involved in the pua community! 5 stars man and 2 thumbs up! make it about having fun and always leave when faced with resistance.

also the lottery ticket line was GOLD!

all your blogs are legendary. this is what pua should teach