Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Strong and Independent Women

Many women think that being strong and independent is a turn-off for men. This is not the case. What turns men off is bossy women who give people a hard time.

A woman can be strong, know what she wants and then go after it. That's entirely a good thing. It comes from knowing who you are and what makes you truly happy. This mindset should be embraced.

Men shouldn't tell women how to act, and women shouldn't tell men how to act. They should both be free to decide what is appropriate for them. It just so happens that a natural polarity exists between men and women, which makes them attractive to each other. So in general, when men and women act the way they naturally want to, the result is that they are naturally attractive to each other.

But problems occur when men are told to act more like women and vice-versa. This causes suppression of many people's natural behaviour and bad things happen as a result.

If a woman truly wants the man to have most of the power in the relationship, that's perfectly fine. And if a woman wants things to be more equal then that's fine too. Matches exist for both types of women. It just so happens that most women naturally want the man to be the dominant figure in the relationship. And most men naturally want to be the dominant figure. I certainly fall into that category. But for me specifically, I prefer to express what I want to a woman and then allow her to go along with it if she wants. I have no desire to tell anyone what to do, but at the same time I won't be told what to do. I have a path and I'm going to take it, no matter if anyone follows or not.

People often wonder, can a woman be strong and independent in a relationship if the man is the dominant one? Yes she can, if she chooses this situation for herself, and is strong and confident enough to understand that this is what she truly wants. And if she chooses to be the dominant one instead, that makes her no more or less strong. Most women who choose the former recognize that they could be the dominant one in the relationship if they choose, but they decide not to. Instead, they prefer the man to "wear the pants", so to speak. Many women are already burdened with responsibility and demands at work, so they prefer the man to be in charge in their relationships, because this makes them feel more feminine. In other words, they prefer to take on the traditional feminine role, but minus the oppression of the past. And some of the main benefits of this arrangement reported by couples is that it creates more trust in the relationship and the sex is better.

There's a good website, run by a woman, in which this dynamic is explained in the context of mutual respect and consent: http://www.takeninhand.com

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