Tuesday, June 9, 2009

The Female Slut Defense

This is the reflexive fear of peer disapproval women have for appearing "too easy". Given that this society in many ways still carries outdated puritan beliefs when it comes to sex (especially regarding female sexuality), the result is the "slut defense". This is basically a schizophrenic conflict, where some women want sex but don't want it (for fear of being labeled a slut). This forces them to look for ways to get laid without feeling slutty. Some will use the "I was drunk" excuse whenever possible, while others will demand relationships, or even marriage, to justify having sex. This can present a mirror problem for men where they are forced to look for ways to get laid without making the girl feel like a slut. This of course means that men will develop a schizophrenic conflict of their own, where they have to balance their desire for sex with the desire to not be obvious about it. Unfortunately, there is no real way to have sex and not own up to it to a degree.

For this reason, it makes no sense to hide behind juvenile displays of "innocence" when it doesn't reflect your true intentions. In fact, this form of plausible deniability regarding sex is so common nowadays that it can hardly be taken seriously as legitimate deniability anyway. "Oh sure, you really were too drunk and it just happened, just like last week and the week before... riiiiight". So throwing out the habitual (token) "slut defense" objection, like "we're not having sex" is so ridiculous and outdated it's like some old superstition that was discredited long ago (but will still be used by some out of habit). For some women it's probably an artifact of their younger days when they were less mature and said those things all the time.

But really, it means nothing, and this is why I say that, as a man, you should not let yourself be buffaloed by women's token objections to sex, assuming they actually are token objections. In fact, don't even care about it at all, for the simple reason that there's no way someone can have sex and not be responsible for it. So silly statements like "we're not having sex" should be addressed as soon as they come up. "Oh yes we are" with a smirk, would be a good response, and it tests her to see if she really means it. If she doesn't, she will happily go along. But if she really means it then she will make a stand, and you will know that the most you will probably get is a sloppy makeout and maybe some tit sucking. So you can decide then and there if you want to go through with it or not. This might take some experience to recognize, but you will know that sometimes token resistance is actual resistance (i.e. she won't fuck, period). So if you agree with her when she says, "we won't have sex" thinking she might not mean it, you are taking a chance that she actually does. And she might tell you "I told you so" later on (while you have blue balls).

Trying to go under the radar only delays the onset of responsibility, but doesn't avoid it. So if she can't take responsibility now, she can't take responsibility later. This is why I say that trying to accommodate her slut defense by downplaying the possibility of sex is generally useless. Sure, she might be attracted and genuinely want to have sex with you, but if she can't overcome her slut defense on her own, you're no better off than if she had refused to fuck because she was not attracted. So test her early if she brings up any objection, or else you might be wasting your time. Testing her forces her out of high school territory and into the adult world.

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